‘The Hunger Games: Mockingjay’ Debuts President Snow’s Address

How, precisely, do you get millions of people to comply with a brutal dictatorship? Pitch it as something we’re all in it together for, as this campaign speech for President Snow shows us.

This is setting up the massive blowout that is the final two Hunger Games movies, creatively titled Mockingjay: Part 1 and Mockingjay: Part 2. For those unfamiliar, Katniss, our teenaged heroine, has touched off a massive rebellion. President Snow, being the kind of guy who takes poisons in order to build up an immunity to them and always smells like blood, is not terribly pleased with the threat to his power and thus, we’re off to the races.

Sadly, they’re not going to do with this what they should. Namely, cut it down to thirty seconds, make it look vaguely like a political ad campaign, and buy a ton of airtime towards the end of October. It’d be perfect: “Wait, who’s this guy running for office out of a completely white room?”

And Donald Sutherland looks familiar enough that people might mistake him for their Representative. Play their cards right, and Lionsgate could probably get a few write-in votes. Of course, if he actually wins, he’ll have to stay in character. But that would never happen, right?