The TSA’s Year In Review Is A Compelling Argument That Americans Are Stupid

Senior Contributor
01.24.14 13 Comments


Question: If you happened to own an inert suicide vest, and you had to take it with you for some reason, would you A) ship it via UPS after explaining what it was or B) just check it in your baggage? If you answered A, congratulations: You are smarter than a certified explosives instructor. And that’s possibly the least troubling tidbit from the TSA Year In Review.

The TSA has a very big post going into some of the utterly bizarre things they had to yank off of airplanes in 2013, and taken together, it makes you wonder where our education system is failing. To wit:

  • People really like trying to smuggle black powder onto airplanes. One guy takes the cake, though, for trying to check twenty-four pounds of the stuff in his baggage at Chicago Midway.
  • Some idiot tried to sneak a mace, as in a giant spiked ball attached to a stick with a chain, also at Chicago Midway.
  • One guy was so attached to his multitool that he tried to hide it in a computer hard drive at Birmingham.
  • People across the country are convinced they can sneak a knife past the TSA; they’ve got a huge collection of cane knives, hidden knives, throwing stars, plastic knives, and other stuff you were convinced only teenagers bought to pretend they were ninjas.

Oh, and finally, if you were wondering which airport wins the prize for most firearms repossessed, amazingly it is not Newark. No, Atlanta wins the prize; Dallas and Houston were second and third, respectively, followed by Phoenix and Denver.

So, essentially, if you’re wondering why those five airports are a security nightmare, it’s because people at these airports don’t understand the concept of “You can’t have a gun on an airplane.” Then again, apparently Chicago is full of explosives fans and exotic weapons enthusiasts, so you’re probably screwed either way.

Via The TSA’s Official Blog

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