This Horrifying Story Of A Guy Piercing Someone’s Butthole Is What Nightmares Are Made Of

12.22.14 4 years ago 15 Comments
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So here’s a nice story I came across in Reddit’s TIFU (Today I F*cked Up) section this morning. Just to warn readers in advance of the graphic nature of this story, I’d also like to remind everyone to tip their tattoo artists and body piercers a little bit extra this holiday season. These people are the real heroes.

Alright a bit of background. Ive been a piercer at my local tattoo parlor for several years, and I have seen people do the simplest things like eyebrow piercings, cartilage piercings, etc. Ive also seen people do the most bizarre things like dick/clit/ball piercings, and even anus piercings. Ive only done 2 anus piercings in the 6 years i’ve worked there. This guy comes in, and says he wants his a-hole pierced. I wanted to laugh, but I put my professional face on, and told him prices, and answered his questions.

We get to the piercing room, and I tell him to pull down his pants and get on all 4s up on the table. Awkward already… Now I’m trying to get him to position his ass cheeks just right so I can get to his a-hole. I finally get him to spread his ass cheeks apart, and I get my needle. I can tell the guy is getting really nervous so I said “Dont tense up man just relax its only gonna take a second. Just relax your anus don’t tense up or it will only be worse.”

Just a quick intermission to remind everyone that it’s still not too late to turn back. Are you sure? OK then, can’t say I didn’t warn you.

I have my face right up to this guys anus and am about to pierce him, and I say “OK here we go”. 2 seconds after I get the needle in he blasts sh*t all over my face. I start screaming like a motherf*cker trying to wipe sh*t off my face, and he starts trying to stand up but the needle is still in his ass, and he screams bloody f*cking murder. My boss runs in to find me wiping sh*t off my face, and this poor f*ck screaming and crying with his pants down.

After I got cleaned up, and we got the needle out his ass I said “WHY DID YOU SH*T ON ME??!” He just stood there obviously embarrassed, and he says “You said to relax my anus! I’m so sorry!”

I will never pierce an anus ever again…

On a semi-related note, I recommend that you do not google “anus piercing.” I can almost certainly promise you that it will ruin your entire holiday.

Via Reddit

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