As a married man who isn’t a character from a Judd Apatow movie, I’ve never been on Tinder, but based on what I’ve learned about the horniest of apps, everyone on it is either a hilarious troll or horrible douchebag. A female Tinder user who wisely didn’t identify her name was recently bombarded by a series of texts from “Tom.” I don’t know “Tom,” but I’m guessing “Tom,” who works a vague job in finance, thinks The Wolf of Wall Street is an inspiring story about a self-made man, and not a cautionary tale. He also probably likes Skrillex, because he’s a dick.
OVER $32,000 SINCE JUNE. Think how many “it won’t suck itself” muscle tees that can buy. Anyway, “Tom” should have his phone thrown in the ocean and be banned from using technology ever again.