In case you were thinking about how much you hate your job, I urge you to consider 25-year-old Josh Lewis, a pizza delivery man in Louisville, Ky. While delivering a pizza on his bike one day, he was stabbed in the chest and robbed of his bike… and then he walked to deliver the pizza, which was neither stabbed nor stolen. Lewis suffered a collapsed lung from the stab wound and is now recovering in the hospital.
By the way, the pizza was being delivered to the hospital, so this ended up being an incredibly convenient stabbing.
But wait a second, the pizza wasn’t stolen? Who robs a pizza delivery guy and declines to steal the pizza? I’ll tell you who, the lamest criminal ever, and he couldn’t even incapacitate the guy he stabbed. He should be ashamed of himself. Super-Josh must have scoffed heartily, as much as someone with a deflating lung is able to scoff, at least.
I’m thinking that after being stabbed in the chest, Super-Josh punched his pathetic assailant in the face as if he was defending a chihuahua from a bear (in this case, the chihuahua was a pizza), all while his lung was deflating. He probably pulled a litter of orphaned kittens from a gutter on his way over and sang “Layla” (the more relaxed version from “Unplugged” not the Derek and the Dominos/Goodfellas version) to a cancer-stricken child, too.
Let’s also note that Super-Josh was delivering a pizza to a hospital after his boss at Spinelli’s Downtown — whose name is Spencer Grizz, and that is a true fact — sent him there.
The pizzeria will be holding a fundraiser to help Lewis out with his hospital bills because that’s really the least they could do. (I kid, they are actually being very supportive; Grizz says Lewis is a “tough kid.”)
We wish Super-Josh a speedy recovery and hope that he’s met his quota of on-the-job stabbing incidents!