Every day we’re faced with the existential crisis of “What would I do if I were insanely rich.” Thank God for New York-based luxury jeweler Tiffany & Co.’s “Everyday Objects” line of merchandise, because now, we know exactly what: We’d buy cheap stuff, but like… expensive versions.
The company that is known for its signature “Tiffany Blue” colored-merchandise now has something for everybody, and by “everybody,” we mean one percent of people. The mega-rich. The line features glass bowls, sterling silver razors, gold crazy straws, and best of all a $1,000 tin can.
Tiffany’s reason (excuse) for selling the can for so much, and also, at all, is that they want to turn “utilitarian items into handcrafted works of art.” This is a fun justification and it’s why Uproxx is proud to be pivoting our model to www.CashmereShoelaces.com.
Naturally, the internet caught on to this product and had an awful lot to say:
https://twitter.com/gbabyslims/status/926509005001953281
For real, Gabs. Real friends want you to keep your pinto beans classy.
When panhandling before the big riot, don't be caught without this stunning $1,000 tin can from Tiffany's pic.twitter.com/Mgw5IEup2H
— The Safest Space (@TheSafestSpace) November 5, 2017
Never say Tiffany’s is only for the rich.
https://twitter.com/radlishra/status/924106008900669441
…or say exactly that it’s only for the rich.
In other news you can now buy a $1000 tin can from Tiffany's….#sensible pic.twitter.com/dZSbVg1Ohl
— G R I N N Y (@grinnyy14) October 27, 2017
Coffee cans, because Tiffany & Co. shoppers have too much change to fit in a tin can.
After further research, this is absolutely not the most ridiculous item offered on the Tiffany’s Web site. There’s a fancy ass yo-yo for all the kids born with a sterling silver spoon (which, ironically, is not offered on the site) in their mouths. There’s a $9,000 ball of yarn for, maybe like…your robotic cat? And a personal favorite, a diamond point tie in sterling silk, a fabric that we did not know even existed and are still unsure if Tiffany’s just made up altogether. (If they can add an entire color to the prism, why not a whole new fabric?)
Even though the idea of a $1,000 tin can seems ridiculous to us, we can’t really hate on people who have enough money and want to buy it for themselves. (Yes we can. We’re just pretending not to. This also isn’t an art deco thing like Warhol, so save that justification.) In the meantime, we’ll be clicking our heels together and hoping the Wizard has more sterling-silver tin goods to hand out.