Let us count off all the reasons why we love this picture of the Rock from the 1990s:
1. LITERAL TURTLENECK AND CHAIN.
2. The jeans that fall somewhere between “mom” and “cool farmer.”
3. His d*ck pack.
4. The fact that his hand is holding his d*ck pack.
5. The hair modeled after an extra in a Spike Lee movie.
6. The JCPenney’s belt.
7. The single gold earring.
8. “I always smell what I’m cooking and not what I burned. Thanks to my brand-new watch, I’m able to keep track of how long the roast is in the oven.” — the Rock, spokesperson.
Take it away.