Previously on the Best and Worst of NXT: NXT TakeOver: The End happened. Samoa Joe pinned the Demon and retained, Asuka kicked Nia Jax to f*ck and American Alpha lost the tag straps back to The Revival. This week is the beginning, I guess?
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And now, the Best and Worst of WWE NXT for June 16, 2016.
Best: A Bunch Of No-Names
First of all, I just wanted to say how much I love that there are two giant Tokka and Rahzar-style irradiated Shield henchmen being led around all mysteriously by Precious Paul Ellering. I love the idea that Ellering has just sat back all these years waiting for the next two game-changing monsters to show up so he could put them in the bondage clothing of the day and make them murder wrestlers.
Second of all, I liked that this week’s opening squash featured four guys without names. Sure, Ellering’s dudes are the “Authors of Pain,” but they aren’t being indentified individually yet. Put them up against “local talent” and boom, you’ve got Tom Phillips sounding like he’s calling a video game match between Create-a-Superstars.
I sincerely hope that these two get a little development and forward momentum, and don’t get caught squashing the same quality opponent over and over until everyone stops taking them seriously. You know, not that NXT ever does that or anything.
Best: Cathy Kelley Gets Numbered
The way Tye Dillinger derisively refers to Cathy Kelley as a six, like it’s the worst thing you could possibly be (but admittedly above the median grade). Not since poor Alex Reyes got christened a three has there been a better onscreen numbering. Dillinger should just wander around grading everyone and keeping a log of it. Who does he think is a one? Who’s his highest ranking non-Tye Dillinger opponent? Is it Jason Jordan?
Best/Worst: Not Again
The point of that interview is to set up a TakeOver rematch between Dillinger and Andrade “Cien” Almas, aka the former La Sombra, aka No Way Andrade, aka Epico and Primo doing the Fusion Dance. Aka Roman Reigns had a baby with Alberto Del Rio and it stole the Godfather’s hat and joined the American Males.
Anyway, it’s a rematch from TakeOver, but I actually liked it a little more. It was a bit more competitive, and Dillinger didn’t completely get his lunch eaten this time. What’s sorta troublesome is that Almas keeps pumping his fists and screaming YEAHHH and AAAHHH, and the crowd is a little less into it each time. Almas is a GREAT talent, but even the NXT regulars might finally be getting tired of NXT’s one character, “I was good somewhere else, that’s it.” Almas has zero character, in the style of Apollo Crews, and you can only be so interesting like that. He’s a dope heel and Dillinger is stupid over at Full Sail, so I’m hoping they double turn and do them both a favor.
I also hope that Almas gets a new finish. Those knees aren’t much better than a Bronco Buster. At some point the illusion is gonna break, and we’re not gonna by that a guy putting his knees on either side of his opponent’s head is hitting them with double knees. They aren’t ghost legs, they aren’t going through people’s heads. Plus, he’s gonna f*ck up once and come in full speed and concuss somebody to the moon.
Best: Almost There
Speaking of Bronco Busters, here’s the latest Carmella victory in the effort of building her as a legitimate challenger to the NXT Women’s Championship. Two things:
1. I love that Tessa Blanchard doesn’t quite get Carmella’s catchphrase. Twice she tries to mock her, and twice she says, “how are you guys doing?” YOU GUYS. It’s either a great, purposeful heeling decision from someone who should have a believable enough pedigree in the sport to make it, or one of those “Jason Mewes saying Illi-noise instead of Illinois” happy accidents.
2. Carmella has improved a ton, but she’s just … too active. She won’t stop moving. She moonwalks like 30 times during this match. Whenever she’s not selling immediate damage, she’s flailing her arms around and spinning and smiling and hopping in a circle. Watch her when she’s shooting Blanchard into the ropes. She’s got a big, static smile on her face, like that’s the face she’s supposed to make. Watch her in the post-match. Even when she’s leaving on the stage, she’s dipping and throwing out her arms and spinning and dancing. It’s kinda off-putting, especially when the actual physical wrestling gifts are starting to come together.
Best: See You Never, Blake & Murphy
This is one of those, “the wrestling was perfectly fine!” episodes of NXT where nothing stands out, but nothing sucked. That’s great for the viewer, especially the ones who like low stakes, entertaining, regular-ass wrestling. For the guy who has to come up with something to say about it, not so much.
(Buddy) Murphy and (Real, Live Cowboy Wesley) Blake have decided to give it one more go as a tag team, sans Alexa Bliss, and face off against the 0-1 TM61 to prove themselves. They don’t, because they’re Blake and Murphy. TM61 defeats them with the extremely Australian and/or Disney roller coaster sounding THUNDER VALLEY, because their other finisher got co-opted a while back.
The highlight is probably Corey Graves making Mad Max jokes about the histories of all the Australian guys in the match, although there’s a severe lack of Sid references.
SUPER BEST: Chaos vs. Bullet Club
Brother, if you aren’t excited about Finn getting kneed the hell out of NXT by Shinsuke motherf*cking Nakamura, I don’t know what to tell you. I feel like one of the people in the crowd, just waiting to throw up my arms and go YEAHHHH WOOO whenever Nakamura says a word.
It’s going to be so great, because it’ll be the (at least temporary) erasing of Finn as a repetitive, frustrating bum and the spiritual NXT debut of Prince Devitt. It’ll let him and let us see him have a match where he gets to let loose and be truly great at what he does, instead of learning how to become WWE’s next super marketable star. Sami Zayn got one of those before he retired to 3-minute matches on Raw, so let’s give Finn one, too.
If you’ve never seen them wrestle before, here’s an example. There’s no way this won’t be great, especially if Finn shows up as The Demon and Nakamura breaks out the paint, too. GIVE ME THIS.
