Hey, Blue Team.
Lot of ups and downs in this weeks show, but it’s all worth it once we get to the main event. It’s Seth Rollins vs. Sami Zayn and it’s exactly what you’d want out of their first WWE match. Could it in fact be too good for SmackDown? This week’s SmackDown moves us one step closer to the brand extension and the draft, but somehow also moves us back.
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And now without further ado, here is The Best and Worst of SmackDown for June 23, 2016.
Worst: There’s No Escaping The Asylum
SmackDown starts off with a four-minute video package explaining everything that’s happened since last Thursday. Dean Ambrose wins Money in the Bank, Rollins beats Reigns, Ambrose cashes in, Shield Triple Threat at Battleground, etc. Now that we’re all caught up, Seth Rollins’ music hits and he comes down to the ring and takes four minutes to explain everything that’s happened since last Thursday. Dean Ambrose wins Money in the Bank, Rollins beats Reigns, Ambrose cashes in, Shield Triple Threat at Battleground, etc. Now that we’re all caught up, Seth is also here to issue an open challenge to anyone that wants to face him in tonight’s main event.
Answering the challenge is Sami Zayn. Seth runs down Sami and calls him a perfect opponent. Before Sami can respond, Dean Ambrose’s music hits. Dean comes out with microphone in hand and calls for the WWE crew members to bring out the set for the Ambrose Asylum. Within seconds the carpet is down, the easel with the Ambrose Asylum sign is placed, and Dean Ambrose has gone full wacky.
I was really hoping that the WWE World Heavyweight Champion version of Dean Ambrose was going to be a more serious character. He showed signs of that in his pre-match interview at Money in the Bank and at Monday’s RAW. But it didn’t take long for WWE to send him right back to his same old shenanigans. On top of that, Ambrose is just not needed in this segment. He doesn’t add anything or advance the storyline. He is seemingly just there to provide comic relief. Ambrose asks Rollins why he’s being such a jackass, then tells him that he may not ever have him as a guest on the Asylum again.
This then transitions into Sami and Ambrose calling out Rollins for why he won’t wrestle Sami right now instead of in the main event. I guess they’re trying to imply that he’s chicken or something like that. But this doesn’t make any sense. What does it matter if Seth wrestles him now or an hour and a half from now? Does that extra 90 minutes really give Rollins that extra advantage? Are they afraid Rollins is going to run backstage and pull up Sami’s Wikipedia to help him get a leg up? Why wouldn’t Sami want that extra time to get ready for the match? Why is any of this happening?
Eventually Seth Rollins gets as frustrated by this segment as I am and leaves. Ambrose says some more wacky BS and wraps up the segment. WWE must have some sort of rule against character progression. Modern WWE Superstars are becoming like sitcom characters. No matter what events occur, the characters never learn or change from them. They just reset at the beginning of the next episode. It’s like nothing has happened to Ambrose since last Thursday.
Best: Reasons
We’re 20 minutes into our wrestling show, so that’s the cue for wrestling to start happening. Our first match of the night is Alberto Del Rio vs. Cesaro, and we get a little story along with it. During both their entrances, they run those fun ’80s Saturday Morning Superstars throwback promo boxes. Del Rio talks about how Cesaro cost him the Money in the Bank briefcase out of jealousy. OK, it may not Citizen Kane, but I like when there’s some sort of storyline for these matches. And it’s a good match, too.
Cesaro and Del Rio’s work together is seamless. It just flows. I’ve enjoyed all the work these guys have done together over the last month, and this is no exception. It’s not a particularly exciting match, but it doesn’t have to be. It’s just nice to watch these guys work together.
The end of the match is particularly good. Cesaro’s on the top rope attempting to superplex Del Rio, but Del Rio fights out of it until Cesaro slips and falls into the Tree of Woe. Del Rio signals that he’s going to do the double stomp, but before he can, Cesaro grabs him and pulls him down to the mat. Cesaro tries to follow that up with a cross-body, but Del Rio side-steps it, sending Cesaro crashing to the mat. Alberto tries to capitalize with his arm breaker, but Cesaro rolls through it and picks up Del Rio to hit him with the Neutralizer.
Cesaro gets the three count and a clean win over Del Rio. I would have enjoyed this match if it had just been wrestling for the sake of wrestling, but a little storyline gave me a reason to enjoy it even more.
Best: A Win’s A Win
I enjoyed the SmackDown match between Sheamus and Apollo Crews a bit more than their fine but forgettable match at Money in the Bank. I thought their SmackDown match told a slightly better story. Most of the SmackDown match is pretty similar to the Money in the Bank match, just worked at a somewhat faster pace. But it’s the end that really made it for me.
After executing an awesome looking Rolling Regal Slam on the outside, Sheamus takes the bottom portion of the steel steps and sets them up vertically against the ring post. Sheamus does sort of a Brogue Kick that lands square on Crews’ back, pushing him face first into the steel steps. The steps fall over onto Apollo as Sheamus rolls into the ring, the ref counts to 10, and Apollo Crews is counted out. Sheamus immediately throws his arms up to celebrate; he will gladly take the count out victory. Heel Sheamus has always seemed like the type of guy who is completely fine to win by count out. If WWE’s characters can’t progress, they can at least act like they’re supposed to in every possible way.
These guys could have a really good match together. Maybe it’s going to take more aggression from Crews, I’m not really sure. But I know they have it in them. This was a nice step in the right direction. I could sit through two or three more of these.
Worst: They All Say “Uce”, We All Say “No”
Prior to AJ Styles vs. Jimmy Uso is a terrible scripted backstage segment where the Usos confront AJ and The Club. It is the furthest thing from an actual conversation five people would have with each other. The Usos are so unnatural; their emotions fluctuate from line to line. It’s like they’re spending so much time memorizing the words that they forget those words should have cohesive emotions behind them.
But as stupid as the Usos are, they’re about to be outdone by your new SmackDown commentary team member, David Otunga. Otunga makes a statement stupider than any joke from Jerry Lawler’s joke books. Otunga predicts that Jimmy Uso will beat AJ Styles in their one-on-one match. I know this is the closest David Otunga has been to a ring in a few years, but did he forget how wrestling works? The match itself left a lot to be desired but compared to the backstage segment, it was Citizen Kane. Maybe we’ll all get lucky and the Usos will be drafted to Nitro.
Worst: One Step Forward, Ten Steps Back
The New Day vs. The Vaudevillains is a good quick little match, but it doesn’t really matter. It just serves as an excuse to get New Day in the ring so the Wyatts can interrupt. One of my favorite moments in wrestling this year was Bray Wyatt’s face turn. It was so thrilling. Wyatt had a presence and an energy that we had never seen before. It was fresh and exciting. It made my mind run wild with possibilities. So many new and interesting things you could do with him and the family. But then on Monday they showed up and they were just the same ol’ Wyatts.
I don’t understand how this happens. How do you snuff out such an exciting idea? Why do you put a stop to something fans were obviously behind? I’m all for a six man tag match between the Wyatt Family and the New Day, especially if Luke Harper comes back in time and it’s the OG family. But I’m not into it enough to justify sacrificing the great direction the Wyatts were headed in before Bray got injured. This goes beyond poor storytelling and stiff unnaturally written segments and into a territory that only WWE can reach. It’s so frustrating.
Worst: Steampunk’d
It’s another Dana Brooke/Becky Lynch match. If you could call this a match. It ends just as it’s getting started. Charlotte jumps up on the ring apron, distracting Becky. Dana Brooke takes advantage and rolls up Becky for the win. Just like the tag team segment before it, the match exists so that Sasha Banks can come out and confront Charlotte once again. Sasha runs Charlotte out of the ring then hits Dana with the Bank Statement. Sasha and Charlotte then stare at each other for an extremely long time.
I’m happy to see Sasha, and I’m glad they’re putting her in the feud with Charlotte, but c’mon. Can’t you move forward with the Charlotte/Sasha storyline and still have a solid long women’s match on the show? These Dana/Becky matches are constantly getting shorter and worse. It’s disappointing.
Best: You Can’t Mess This Up
Not even a wacky Dean Ambrose riding a red wagon full of exploding televisions and hologram ghosts could mess up Seth Rollins vs. Sami Zayn. It’s not their first match together, but it is their first match against each other in WWE. I have a strong feeling that we’re going to see a lot of these two mixing it up in the future, and in matches with a lot higher profiles than a SmackDown main event.
The more I think about it, the weirder it is that this match is on SmackDown. At the very least, shouldn’t it be a RAW main event? Maybe this is WWE’s attempt at getting people used to things happening on SmackDown again.
Is the match a classic? No. But it’s very good and offers a sneak peek at what these guys are capable of together. I was just watching an old PWG match of theirs the other night. As entertaining as they were back then, they have come a long way. If you missed this week’s SmackDown (and I’m assuming you did — who else watches SmackDown but me?), the match is worth tracking down to see. At the very least for the history that’s unfolding in front of us.
A supplemental best goes out to the crowd in the arena for this match. At one point, Rollins is outside the ring when Sami comes out of nowhere and take out Rollins with a powerful clothesline. The fans jump out of their chairs and remain on their feet for the rest of the match as they chant “Let’s go Rollins/Sami Zayn.” It just added to the big match feel.
Another interesting thing happened while this match was going on. Your WWE World Heavyweight Champion, Dean Ambrose, was sitting in on commentary and he starts getting a little more grounded again. He seems to take everything much more seriously than he did in the opening segment, especially Seth Rollins.
They keep teasing me with these little moments of the Dean Ambrose I love. The version of the Dean Ambrose character that I want to see on television every week. The Dean Ambrose that feels like a real person. The Dean Ambrose I can connect with. This week marks the twentieth anniversary of Austin 3:16. It’s brought about a lot of discussion of who the next Steve Austin could be. There’s no one on the WWE roster today with a better chance of being the next Stone Cold than Dean Ambrose. He just needs to be a little more Austin 3:16, and a little less “WHAT?!?” Right now the face of the company is tarnished. Dean has the next thirty days to prove that he’s the man. Now would be the perfect time for an Austin 3:16 moment of his own.
Until next week, I’m Justin Donaldson and I recently saw Citizen Kane.
