It’s October, which means the Pumpkin Spice takes are hot, Canadians are celebrating Thanksgiving at a very confusing time for Americans, and Halloween preparations are in full swing. If you don’t have a costume for your wee wrestling-loving children yet, don’t worry — WWE has you covered. They’ve provided a bevy of costumes, each more uncomfortably terrifying than the last, to make sure that your little munchkins can dress up as their favorite Superstars. Or, well, a significantly more terrifying version. Let’s explore your options, shall we?
For every kid who wants to dress up as “Hungover AJ Styles Dressed Up Like Seth Rollins.”
The official name for this costume is the “Roman Reigns “Spare No One, Spear Everyone” Halloween Youth T-Shirt Package.” Important lesson, kids: F*CK EVERYONE INDISCRIMINATELY ¯_(ツ)_/¯
Does your child have an unquenchable smug sense of superiority but has yet to master the fine motor skills to raise only one eyebrow at a time? Well congratulations, this The Rock costume is perfect for your budding overt narcissist.
Dead Eyes? PG-but-still-incredibly-phallic-tattoo? Strength of a thousand wild bison who love meaty hoagies, but only in certain states? Brock Lesnar costume, here you come! Note: also doubles as a Chet Donnelly from Weird Science costume.
Of course, no costume compilation would be complete without requisite WWE children’s superhero John Cena. Or, at least, what John Cena would look like if he were 40 and by “Never Give Up” he meant his addiction to Class A drugs:
And look, there’s even an adult version of this costume for every person whose significant other has tweeted “F*ck me daddy” at John Cena:
So this October, for a low low price, every child can be the terrifying WWE Superstar they’ve always dreamed of. Happy Halloween, folks!
