Donald Trump appeared for a press conference today to announce his new labor secretary appointee, Alexander Acosta. Or at least, that’s what was supposed to happen, but Trump either had other plans or completely went off the rails while lecturing the media yet another time because he thinks they’re “fake news.” For 75 long minutes, time stood still as Trump ranted and raved about how the media treats him terribly, and he doesn’t understand why.
The press conference turned into — as Wolf Blitzer later described on CNN — a Festivus-like affair. Trump unloaded all of his grievances (“I’m taking my message straight to the people”) upon those who he believes are trying to drag down the man who is “here to change the broken system.” To seriously analyze this appearance would drive anyone insane (even sportsbooks couldn’t cope), so here are the most bonkers things that Trump said while raging at the world.
The overriding theme: “The media is so dishonest … out of control …. they’re doing a tremendous disservice … the press should be ashamed of themselves.”
https://www.instagram.com/p/BQlR0-ZBaav/
On what he means by fake news: “The leaks are real, but the news is fake.”
https://www.instagram.com/p/BQlVddoh65w/
On closing the borders: “Drugs are becoming cheaper than candy bars.”
President Trump: “Drugs are becoming cheaper than candy bars.” https://t.co/OBLCVoLF0C https://t.co/vi5tr5hHPN
— CNN (@CNN) February 16, 2017
When NBC’s Peter Alexander asked him to explain his erroneous claims on Electoral College results: “I was given that information, I don’t know.”
https://www.instagram.com/p/BQlT9-XBf05/
On rumors of White House chaos: “This administration is running like a fine-tuned machine, despite the fact that I can’t get my cabinet approved”
President Trump: “This administration is running like a fine-tuned machine.” https://t.co/OBLCVoLF0C https://t.co/0Zeckvjt7P
— CNN (@CNN) February 16, 2017
When Jim Acosta asks him to defend “fake news” label: “I’m changing it from ‘fake news’ though: ‘Very fake news.'”
https://www.instagram.com/p/BQlWUJWh6vI/
To American Urban Radio Networks White House Reporter April Ryan on the Congressional Black Caucus: “Do you want to set up a meeting? Are they friends of yours?”
https://www.instagram.com/p/BQlZAHBBhZV/
On why he blames the media for inventing ‘Russia’: “The whole Russian thing, that’s a ruse … Russia is fake news.”
President Trump: “The whole Russian thing, that’s a ruse.” https://t.co/FZHKvnD1zL https://t.co/hngz6yDlE1
— CNN (@CNN) February 16, 2017
On why the media needs to leave him alone: “I don’t have to tell you what I’m going to do in North Korea … I’m not going to tell you anything about what response I do.”
President Trump: “I don’t have to tell you what I’m going to do in North Korea” https://t.co/FZHKvnD1zL https://t.co/g7c8OAMFvq
— CNN (@CNN) February 16, 2017
When Trump gets really fed up: “I want to find a friendly reporter. Are you a friendly reporter?”
Before taking his next question, President Trump says, “I want to find a friendly reporter.” https://t.co/FNDVCjmrlW
— MSNBC (@MSNBC) February 16, 2017
Unfortunately, that wasn’t even close to every quote. If you somehow missed the crumbling of all reason, you can watch the full press conference below.