If you wanna see Jesus Christ whup Stone Cold Steve Austin‘s ass, give Stephen Colbert a “hell yeah.” Or a Hail Mary, maybe? Either way, aside from Okada vs Omega, this might be the most exciting (would-be) wrestling feud out there.
On Friday’s edition of the Late Show,, Colbert addressed the surreal (and very real) development of World Wrestling Entertainment successfully obtaining the trademark for the biblically-inspired “3:16.” Steve Austin’s legendary coining of “Austin 3:16” at King of the Ring put 3:16 into the wrestling lexicon and as is the WWE’s custom they’ve snapped up the rights. For those unfamiliar, here’s a refresher.
In response to WWE’s trademark move, Colbert trotted out “Jesus” to cut a very ’80s promo on the planet’s favorite leather vest enthusiast.
“I’m gonna walk on over you like water!” declared the Galilee grappler. “And go ahead and bring the pain because who so ever shall smite me my right cheek, I will turn to you the other and then FORGIVE YOU! OH YEAH!”
Jesus also brought his own WWE championship belt. Why? It’s Jesus cutting a wrestling promo on a late night talk show. It’s best not to overthink. It’s a funny, silly segment that managed to get Dok Hendrix on CBS before midnight. What a time to be alive. For what it’s worth (Meltzer™), religious figures haven’t always fared to well in the WWE’s brand of pro graps. In 2006, Vince and Shane McMahon beat Shawn Michaels and “God” in a tag-team match.
