After a slight delay because he partially shut down the federal government to not get his precious border wall, President Donald J. Trump got to make his hotly-anticipated State of the Union address. It was our commander-in-chief in play-nice mode, sort of, most of the time, except when he slipped and said something that got an awkward, if not quite hostile, response. Rather than ranting and raving à la his beloved rally speeches, Trump was in pomp mode — i.e., he slowly and indifferently recited copy he probably never wrote a word of while sniffing a lot.
Trump bragged about some of the good things, like the strong economy and the recent job surge that have materialized despite the fact that he shut down the government for 33 days while 800,000 employees weren’t paid, on top of untold stiffed contractors who will never be reimbursed for their losses. He also repeated his usual line about border security: He said it was necessary to stop human trafficking while demonizing immigrants in the face of scared (white) potential voters. Also he said it was probably no longer an actual wall! Instead it will be of some as-yet-to-be-determined substance.
Trump also, awkwardly, addressed a few elephants in the room. Of the numerous investigations into his potential wrongdoings, he said, “There cannot be war and investigations…it just doesn’t work that way.” That received a weird silence and some loud chair-shifting. He also at one point praised all the new women in the workforce, which prompted all the new female Representatives — including Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, and all of whom wore white in solidarity — to stand up, cheer, and shout “USA!”, all while Trump tried to play it off as a win for him.
Despite Trump’s not-quite-believable calls for bipartisanship and unity, it was received about as well as you could imagine on social media. Let’s start with the night’s winners: Shots of female politicians in attendance struggling to hide their righteous anger. Let’s start with Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.
Mood. pic.twitter.com/HQJyKKP4X4
— Judd Legum (@JuddLegum) February 6, 2019
And please note her pin.
.@AOC is wearing a pin of Jakelin Caal, the Guatemalan child who died in custody of CBP. 😭 #sotu pic.twitter.com/VF9NGjtJe7
— Julissa Natzely Arce Raya (@julissaarce) February 6, 2019
Then there was Kamala Harris.
same pic.twitter.com/vhAR21QJLG
— Ben Sharpe (@iamsharpe) February 6, 2019
And Kirsten Gillibrand.
https://twitter.com/MrPatrickKane/status/1092971934831173632
Actually, Mitch McConnell didn’t look that happy either.
McConnell looks unhappy pic.twitter.com/ritlJRRVHK
— dart (@dartunorro) February 6, 2019
But the MVP may have been the most frequently shown women in the chambers: Nancy Pelosi.
Congrats to @SpeakerPelosi for inventing the “fuck you” clap. #sotu pic.twitter.com/eueoUf9IBT
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) February 6, 2019
Here is Nancy Pelosi's response when President Trump slams 'partisan investigations.' #sotu #StateOfTheUnion2019 pic.twitter.com/rQscWWLYnq
— Daniel Lewis (@Daniel_Lewis3) February 6, 2019
Pelosi didn’t look that happy with Mike Pence either.
When divorced mom and dad come to the wedding pic.twitter.com/nQEIrVJaLl
— James Urbaniak (@JamesUrbaniak) February 6, 2019
Then there was the man of the hour. One person dug up an old classic.
I’ll just leave this here. #SOTU pic.twitter.com/XfaARwbVRV
— shauna (@goldengateblond) February 6, 2019
Others talked about when he singled out an in-attendance Buzz Aldrin.
https://twitter.com/jonwurster/status/1092969733148749824
For the opening stretch, Trump’s tie was a bit askew.
https://twitter.com/thesulk/status/1092972234476417024
trump's tie is askew
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kevin smith's production company is called view askew
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in view askew's movie clerks the clerks talk about star wars
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star wars is often confused by the uninitiated with star trek
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in star trek there is a recurring character called Q— Christopher Hooks (@cd_hooks) February 6, 2019
His attempt to shoot down justified investigations into his actions went over swimmingly.
Trump's line just now: "There cannot be war and investigation…it just doesn't work that way" did not get applause from either side of the aisle.
— Jim Sciutto (@jimsciutto) February 6, 2019
Nancy catching up on paperwork like a boss. pic.twitter.com/0r0m4MN18P
— Josh Marshall (@joshtpm) February 6, 2019
Ditto when he pontificated on immigration.
“We must stop these coyotes — with their rocket skates and giant slingshots, terrorizing innocent roadrunners.” #sotu
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) February 6, 2019
illegal immigrants are so dangerous that i employ them at my golf courses.
— Justin Wolfers (@JustinWolfers) February 6, 2019
There was that bit when his attempt to show he wasn’t a sexist pig boomeranged on him.
Seriously how inept are your speechwriters when they set you up like that, and how inept are you when you don't even see something so obvious in the draft.
— shauna (@goldengateblond) February 6, 2019
Trump at Miss Teen USA: "The funniest is that I’ll go backstage before a show, & everyone's getting dressed, & no men are anywhere. I'm allowed to go in because I'm the owner of the pageant. You know, they're standing there with no clothes. ‘Is everybody okay?’"
— Virginia Heffernan (@page88) February 6, 2019
At one point he talked about prohibiting late-term abortion.
Just a reminder that no woman is or has ever been moments from giving birth and decides “You know what? I want an abortion. I forgot that was an option until now."
— Paul F. Tompkins (@PFTompkins) February 6, 2019
https://twitter.com/zachheltzel/status/825018853222539264
Some focused on his pledge to defend “innocent life.”
"Let us work together to build a culture that worships innocent life" says the guy responsible for ripping thousands of immigrant children away from their parents and losing them. #SOTU
— shauna (@goldengateblond) February 6, 2019
https://twitter.com/imillhiser/status/1092982879892791297
One of Trump’s stranger declarations was that had he not been elected, we’d be at war with North Korea right now. To start with: “elected”?
https://twitter.com/Emma4Change/status/1092983716803153920
And then there was him coming close to praising Kim Jong-un.
Find footage of any US POTUS ever praising a dictator who murders and deliberately starves his own people more than Trump just praised Kim Jong-un.#SOTU
— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) February 6, 2019
At least after this new Kim Jong Un meeting Trump can say he went to Vietnam.
— Rick Wilson (@TheRickWilson) February 6, 2019
And then there him dissing “endless wars.”
Shorter Trump: Human life is sacred but let's get our nuclear war on but please don't impeach me.
— emptywheel (@emptywheel) February 6, 2019
At one point, former (future?) Trump foe Ted Cruz was seen.
“no one need know that I am secretly clapping for soup” pic.twitter.com/Ia8zReCZnk
— Dave Itzkoff (@ditzkoff) February 6, 2019
All the while, historian and internet troll defeater Kevin M. Kruse was here for some live annotating.
At his 1974 State of the Union address, Richard Nixon insisted that "one year of Watergate is enough" and called for the investigations to end.
Eight months later, he resigned the presidency.
— Kevin M. Kruse (@KevinMKruse) February 6, 2019
The probable true author of Trump’s speech was not forgotten.
Stephen Miller must have been attending a white power march on the day they taught segues in speechwriting school
— Dan Pfeiffer (@danpfeiffer) February 6, 2019
Then there was this: This speech was long — longer than last year’s, which was already longer than Led Zeppelin’s double album Physical Graffiti.
The longest State of the Union address was Bill Clinton's 2000 speech, clocking in at an hour and 29 minutes.
We're getting close to that.
— Kevin M. Kruse (@KevinMKruse) February 6, 2019
https://twitter.com/joshgreenman/status/1092986251429511169
But perhaps the real hero of the night was invited guest (and non-relation) Joshua Trump.
https://twitter.com/MollyJongFast/status/1093001058861887488