Piers Morgan has a lot of time on his hands after his Meghan Markle rant cost him his job on Good Morning Britain, and the British television personality is using it wisely — taking the time to learn and to grow.
Just kidding, he’s getting into a Twitter war with the guy who created HBO’s The Wire.
Morgan appeared on Tucker Carlson’s Fox Nation show earlier this week to bemoan how poorly the public treated him after he made some nasty comments about Markle and Prince Harry’s sit-down with Oprah Winfrey. You’ll remember, Morgan was left clutching his pearls after Meghan and Harry revealed made accusations about the ill-treatment at the hands of the British press and the royal family not mitigating the fallout while the couple still held their titles. Morgan’s reaction to the interview — and the scrutiny of his years-long obsession with Markle — led to his departure from his morning TV show, but he continued to double down on his rhetoric for Carlson, igniting outrage in critics, particularly David Simon.
Simon, who created the critically-acclaimed crime drama The Wire for HBO, called out Morgan on social media, using some colorful turns of phrase to describe the beleaguered TV host.
In an ocean of talking-head sewage, what are the chances that the two most pouty and puckered assholes in broadcast television would ever swim through the brown, find each other, and discuss the events of the day? https://t.co/m0Yf9do7Bo
— David Simon (@AoDespair) April 5, 2021
Morgan clapped back, accusing Simon of being “all over him” when Simon was promoting the show. In reality, the interaction Morgan was referencing was a creator’s panel that included Aaron Sorkin and former HBO chief Richard Plepler. Simon apparently was told to play nice by Plepler during the interview.
Talking of sewage, Dave… you were all over me like a sycophantic chap rash when I interviewed you. Yet now you play the vicious horrible illiberal liberal to appease your vile woke base. All a bit sh*t really. But on a positive note, I loved The Wire. https://t.co/h2KOWSQ5Uw
— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) April 5, 2021
You met me once, on a stage at Cannes with Richard Plepler & Aaron Sorkin on a panel I attended at the request of HBO. 1) Didn’t know you from a fart in high wind. 2) Was polite to said fart at Richard’s request as that man was a Medici to me. Now go lick some racist royalty. https://t.co/8Rmay903Du
— David Simon (@AoDespair) April 5, 2021
And that’s how one of the more entertaining blood feuds on social media this week was born.
Morgan used a pretty tired comeback, taking a jab at Simon’s show by claiming Sorkin’s The West Wing was better. We’ve seen worse from him, but as far as takedowns go, this just felt lazy.
Aaron was a class act. You…. not so much. Probably explains why The West Wing is so much better than The Wire.
— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) April 5, 2021
Simon managed to sneak the phrase “Tijuana cathouse” into his rebuttal, so that’s something. But his dig ended up boxing Morgan into a corner he just couldn’t find his way out of. So instead, the Brit kept going on (and on, and on) about how great Aaron Sorkin is. Is Aaron Sorkin the new Meghan Markle? For Piers Morgan, he might be.
Sorkin is swell and has gigs. I’m still working for Time Warner after a quarter century. You’re unemployed and if it was a Tijuana cathouse and you had a fistful of fifties, you still couldn’t get laid at TW or anywhere else over here. Not after that pratfall you did at CNN. https://t.co/DCQkIb0dmt
— David Simon (@AoDespair) April 5, 2021
Yet oddly, despite your stupendous ego, I have 26 times as many followers as you! You’re a great writer but a repulsive human being. Aaron’s a better writer and a great guy.
Be more like Aaron. https://t.co/zPEq5IC27H— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) April 5, 2021
Yes, popularity on this platform is truly indicative of worth and mettle. It’s a damn wonder you keep getting fired when actual journalism is required. Now go back some poor girl’s cellphone and call that moral midgetry reporting, you empty parasite. https://t.co/o2Gxl5WGIA
— David Simon (@AoDespair) April 5, 2021
Look, is trying to prove to Piers Morgan that his moral compass is broken an effort in futility? Yes, but at least Simon kept his trash talk interesting. He won this battle, but the war? It’ll probably rage on.