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Fake Everyman Ted Cruz Told Biden To ‘Kiss My Ass’ And Took The World’s Saddest Sip Of Beer In Protest Of Potential New Alcohol Guidelines

The new talking point among Republicans is that Joe Biden wants to ban hard-working, hard-drinking Americans from having more than two beers a week. Only two beers?! I drink two beers during the first quarter of watching my Carolina Panthers get their asses handed to them. But like most things shared on Truth Social, it’s not exactly true.

Dr. George Koob, the director of the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, told the Daily Mail that the United States Department of Agriculture could revise its alcohol recommendations to match Canada’s guidelines. “If there’s health benefits, I think people will start to re-evaluate where we’re at [in the US],” he said of Canada’s “big experiment” with its alcohol guidelines. “So, if [alcohol consumption guidelines] go in any direction, it would be toward Canada.” It’s not a ban on having more than two (2) beers) a week, it’s a potential suggestion, but that’s too much for Ted Cruz to comprehend.

The Texas senator appeared on Newsmax’s The Balance on Wednesday, according to Mediaite, and made a big show out of the possible beer guidelines. “Biden came in, one of the first things they wanted to do was ban gas stoves. New York state has now done that for new construction. They’re trying to go after and regulate ceiling fans. I got to tell you, it’s hot in Texas. We don’t want to get rid of our ceiling fans, and now these idiots have come out and said drink two beers a week, that’s their guideline,” he said, conveniently forgetting that it was Texas governor Greg Abbott who recently approved a law that eliminated mandatory water breaks for construction workers.

Cruz added, “Well I’ve gotta tell you, if they want us to drink two beers a week, frankly they can kiss my ass.” He and his cowboy hat-wearing buddies in the background then proceeded to take the world’s smallest sip of beer.

It’s cute how they think they’re on King of the Hill.

(Via Mediaite)