So Here’s The Actual Reason John Cena’s Eye Is Pink As Hell

There were two big stories out of last night’s RAW: 1) OHHHH SNAP KATIE VICK REFERENCE and 2) What the hell is up with John Cena’s eye?

Sure, there are plenty of “haha Nikki’s a whore” jokes that people have been making because that’s the peak of complex joke-making and hilarity. And I’d love to pile on with jokes about how her vagina gave him pink eye or something that won’t get me stuffed in a locker before lunch. But here’s the actual deal, according to the WWE’s totally not fake doctor:

“John Cena had been [competing during] last weekend’s Live Events when he sustained a corneal abrasion during his Live Event matches. This evening during the attack by Rusev, John Cena’s injuries were exacerbated. As mentioned [on commentary], those injuries were a scratched cornea and a ruptured blood vessel. We’re going to do periodic eye exams to make sure the scratch on his cornea is healing and he will be ready for WWE Fastlane.“

Apparently it’s a legit injury that he’s using to play into the Rusev story. Most importantly, does Hulk Hogan approve?

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Of course he does. So, nothing to worry about, kids. On to Fast Lane!