Your Official With Spandex NXT TakeOver: Rival Predictions

WWE NXT’s latest live special entitled NXT TakeOver: Rival takes place Wednesday night, February 11, live on WWE Network. Matt Fowler of IGN praises the show, calling it, “a WWE.” A random newspaper in Houston says, “wrestling show.” This is the first we’re hearing about it.

Seriously, the show’s full name is WWE NXT TakeOver: Rival, replacing last year’s ‘Arrival’ event. We’re hoping the next show is called WWE NXT TakeOver: R-Rival, and that the next show name’s just a Mary Poppins song sung in its entirety. Here’s your full card:

1. NXT Championship Match: Sami Zayn (c) vs. Kevin Owens

2. Fatal 4-Way for the NXT Women’s Championship: Charlotte (c) vs. Sasha Banks vs. Bayley vs. Becky Lynch

3. NXT Tag Team Championship Match: Wesley Blake & Buddy Murphy (c) vs. The Lucha Dragons

4. No. 1 Contender’s Match: Finn Bálor vs. Adrian Neville

5. No Disqualification Match: Bull Dempsey vs. Baron Corbin

6. Hideo Itami vs. Tyler Breeze

And now, as always, our 100 percent accurate and legally binding predictions.

NXT Championship Match: Sami Zayn (c) vs. Kevin Owens

What You Need To Know: Before coming to WWE, Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens were best friends and traveled the world together, both as tag team partners and blood rivals. Owens paused briefly to get married and have kids and Zayn didn’t, so Zayn ended up in WWE first. Owens resents that but claims his attack on Zayn at NXT’s last live special R-Evolution was “just business.” He wants to be NXT Champion so he can provide for his family. Zayn wants to keep it, because he spent 18 months busting his ass to GET it. Honestly all you need to know is that this is going to be f*cking awesome.

Prediction: This is the hardest match on the show to pick, and maybe the hardest NXT result to pick ever. It seems a little quick to unseat Sami as champion before he’s had a chance to do ANYTHING, but he’s going on WWE’s tour of the UAE and will miss the next set of tapings. Plus, he’s Sami Zayn. He could get yanked up to the main roster at any moment. It seems a little quick to give Kevin Owens an NXT title reign two months after his debut, but it’s KEVIN OWENS. As far as internet sweethearts go, he’s sweeter than most. He and Zayn have a long history, and stealing the championship from him so quickly into his reign would be the ultimate insult. We don’t have much of a championship reign to use as evidence, but characters like Zayn’s are classically more interesting when they’re chasing goals rather than confidently living them.

So! My brain tells me to pick Owens, but my heart says Zayn. I’m going to formally say that Zayn retains in an unexpected way and Owens brutalizes him, putting him out of action (again) and keep doing it until whatever NXT’s doing on WrestleMania weekend. If you’re going to do a big title change, that’s where you should do it. Give the WWE Universe an example of Zayn vs. Owens of their own before paying it off.

Staff Predictions

David D. – I have no idea where they’re going here, and I love it. These two are going to have an insane match that guarantees to be brutal. I actually think Owens wins and they set up Zayn as an underdog chasing the title again because he’s perfect at it.

Nate Birch – For the purposes of audience catharsis, Sami Zayn had to win the NXT title eventually, but Owens is the guy they’re really behind and Zayn makes for a fine Mick Foley/Tommy Dreamer. Zayn’s title reign comes to premature end here.

Jessica Hudnall – As much as it hurts my heart, Zayn is better in the chase. Owens should savagely beat Sami about the head, neck, and torso en route to winning the NXT championship, and all the Zayniacs will play the saddest dirge you’ve ever heard.

Fatal 4-Way for the NXT Women’s Championship: Charlotte (c) vs. Sasha Banks vs. Bayley vs. Becky Lynch

What You Need To Know: Charlotte is the daughter of Ric Flair and dominant NXT Women’s Champion. No person to hold the NXT Women’s Championship has ever lost it. The first champion, Paige, had to vacate it when she won the Divas Championship on RAW. Charlotte’s competitors are Bayley, the crowd favorite “mark” who is just happy to be here but has developed a confident mean streak as of late because she’s sick of getting turned on and having her limbs broken by jerks; Sasha Banks, the “Boss” and under-the-radar superworker of the Women’s Division; and Becky Lynch, an Irish lady who can’t stop throwing up horns. They got put into this match by NXT General Manager William Regal when they wouldn’t stop jumping and trying to compromise each other to a permanent end.

Prediction: If Sami retains, Charlotte should lose. The NXT Women’s Champion has to lose SOMETIME, and there’s no better time than in a match against her three top opponents. WWE will say she’s only got a 25 percent chance to win because they don’t understand how odds work, but I’d go the crazy, unexpected route of having all three challengers team up to eliminate Charlotte first, then fight it out for the championship. That’d leave Bayley in there 2-on-1 against Sasha and Becky, and you can use their miscommunication and Bayley’s hot babyface fire to (at the very least) have her almost win it. I’m picking Sasha Banks here because f*ck it, the Boss rules and should be the next champion. Send Charlotte up to Natalya Land and let Bayley and Sasha tear it up for a few months.

Staff Predictions

David D. – Remember when I used to only comment about Sasha Banks and sing her praises. Well, she called herself the #Pokeboss (as in Pokemon) and I love her even more. Plus, she’s probably one of the top five workers in all of NXT. I think it comes down to her and Bayley while Sasha steals the title.

Nate Birch – So, this is pretty much the entire core NXT women’s division in one match, and it would seem to be an easy way to finally get the belt on a perpetual runner up like Sasha or Bayley, but NXT doesn’t really crown champions in random multi-person matches. Usually title changes are the emotional culmination of some longrunning storyline (except, of course, in the tag division) and this match isn’t that. Really, at this point, the main purpose of the NXT women’s division is to continue making Charlotte better, and keeping the belt on her and introducing some new challengers is the best way to do that. Charlotte wraps up some loose ends here and moves onto the next thing.

Jessica Hudnall – If Sasha doesn’t win the title here, I guarantee that I will type at least three all caps cusses on the internet to show my displeasure. Luckily, that won’t happen because Sasha is going to win that belt. You can Banks on it.


NXT Tag Team Championship Match: Wesley Blake & Buddy Murphy (c) vs. The Lucha Dragons

What You Need To Know: Before they were embarrassing nobodies, The Ascension were the longest-reigning NXT Tag Team Champions in history. They were ultimately defeated by the Lucha Dragons (Sin Cara and Kalisto) in a loss that made them paint their faces and shake a lot like a baby waking up from a nap. The Lucha Dragons aren’t unstoppable occult monsters, so they quickly lost the titles to an unexpected team: the Enhancement Talent duo of Wesley Blake and Buddy Murphy.

Prediction: Sin Cara’s barely an NXT guy and Kalisto’s bound for … uh, “greater things,” so I’ll pick Murphy and Blake to retain. They need the championships to develop their characters and they’re honestly very good in the ring, so they deserve a little time to shine. I just hope NXT takes the opportunity to work on them and turn them into something besides “boring-looking action figure guys who might be The Wolves and might be in love,” because they’re worth an investment.

Staff Predictions

David D. – Buddy and Blake win so that Kalisto can go be the black guy from Mannequin. Let’s move on.

Nate Birch – Whenever anybody starts getting a little too giddy about NXT, I always side-eye in the direction of the tag division. Wesley Blake & Buddy Murphy — I dunno, man. I suppose they’re winning because if they don’t win here, what was the point of them winning the belts in the first place?

Jessica Hudnall – Seriously, those ding dongs are the champs? I would prefer the actual Ding Dongs. Ugh, whatever, I really want the Lucha Dragons to win the belts back, but I’ve got a weird feeling in my guts that SHENANIGANZ~! are afoot here. Like maybe Kalisto gets his mask removed, and then he starts washing Blake’s hair and then I’ll cry. Whatever, the stupid white dudes retain.

No. 1 Contender’s Match: Finn Bálor vs. Adrian Neville

What You Need To Know: This is the finals of an NXT Championship No. 1 Contender tournament. Finn Bálor defeated WrestleMania main-eventer Curtis Axel and lifelong (?) best friend Hideo Itami to get here. Former champion Neville defeated Tyson Kidd and Baron Corbin. Bálor is a monstrous cosplay ballet ninja who is the most “sure thing” WWE star they’ve hired in ever. Neville wants to regain the championship to prove he’s the most deserving and accomplished champ the promotion’s ever had.

Prediction: Happy clapping from everyone watching, assuming the crowd doesn’t eat itself alive trying to express its appreciation. These guys know Zayn/Owens is a guaranteed classic and Itami/Breeze could be great, so they’re going to pull out everything they’ve got and blow the roof off. Both of these guys being huge babyfaces makes me wonder if Owens isn’t taking the strap in the main.

Anyway, this one’s hard to pick, too, because both guys deserve a big marquee championship match, and both could get called up without a blink. I want to say Neville will win because that makes sense. He’s got the better tournament story, he’ll want/need revenge on Kevin Owens, and he’s the proven NXT star. Bálor is hot shit right now, though, and he won’t be in developmental long. I will uneasily choose Bálor, but I’ll be happy with whatever happens.

Staff Predictions

David D. – “We’re not worthy” *clap clap clapclapclap* Match of the Year contender here, and it will hopefully got 20-25 minutes. I think Bálor wins here, and we get him challenging Owens and Zayn going forward.

Nate Birch – NXT isn’t really a place for forging dynasties. Nobody’s won an NXT title more than once. Neville did his thing as NXT champ, but it’s time to move on and get fitted for his Mighty Mouse cape. Bálor moves into his main event spot here.

Jessica Hudnall – Ireland versus England, the age old battle begins anew! While Neville might have been the Man that Gravity Forgot, Finn Bálor is a got dang astronaut, and those guys regularly break free form gravity’s clutches. I’m taking Bálor to win this while wearing his adorable space helmet.

No Disqualification Match: Bull Dempsey vs. Baron Corbin

What You Need To Know: Baron Corbin is a monster, and possibly a werewolf. Bull Dempsey is a dorky fat guy who really wants to be a monster, but isn’t. Dempsey defeated a bunch of cans (including Mojo Rawley, the biggest can of all) and thought that’d push him past Corbin, but nope, he’s 0-2 and has lasted a total of about five minutes in the ring. He keeps pushing his luck an attacking, though, so now we’ve got Corbin and Dempsey in a no DQ match.

Prediction: Corbin. Hopefully with extreme prejudice. I can’t see Dempsey winning unless he brings a literal spear to the ring and tries to stab Corbin with it. Even then it’s iffy.

Staff Predictions

David D. – LULZ Baron Corbin wins in three seconds. I still hate Bull Dempsey, except for when he’s playing the best friend on Marry Me.

Nate Birch – Usually, this storyline would be leading to an underdog win for Dempsey, but this is Bull friggin’ Dempsey we’re talking about. Dempsey exists to be a decoy — distract Vince with this lousy shlubby guy, while they do something with actually talented shlubby guy, Kevin Owens. So yeah, Dempsey isn’t winning.

Jessica Hudnall – Unless Dempsey just flat out shoots Corbin in the face, there’s no real way he wins this, right? Baron is going to truck Bull and truck him hilariously.

Hideo Itami vs. Tyler Breeze

What You Need To Know: Tyler Breeze is a world-traveled male model currently being stalked by a hunchback or a phantom or whatever. We haven’t really gotten an answer on that beyond the obvious, “It’s the bald French guy.” Hideo Itami is a huge star from Japan who debuted hot, cooled off significantly and is now rebuilding some much-needed momentum after a series of good-to-great matches. Breeze is upset about how the NXT Championship tournament played out and is taking it out on Itami, possibly because of his banana-yellow shorts.

Prediction: As much as I’d like to see Tyler Breeze get a rub, this is Itami’s match to win. Anything else would be a total shock. As I mentioned, Itami’s finally getting back the momentum he lost getting brow-beaten by the Ascension every week for like two months, so having him lose to Breeze (a guy who is great but hasn’t been on TV a lot lately) would be a bad move. Itami wins a competitive, hopefully long match after another tease of the Go To Sleep, and everyone throwing up their hands in frustration.

(If they’re doing a live special around Mania, THAT’S when dude’s breaking out the GTS.)

Staff Predictions

David D. – I just want to say this: Hideo Itami doesn’t deserve enough credit for making that Bálor dropkick look like the deadliest goddamn thing that’s ever happened in a wrestling ring. After a really, really rocky start to his NXT career, Itami has found his footing and is great again. He’ll win, but most importantly this will be another showcase match.

Nate Birch – Itami’s already relegated to the opening match. Hmmmmm. Breeze kind of lives and dies by his gimmick — wins and losses aren’t particularly important to him. The same can’t be said of Itami, so he wins.

Jessica Hudnall – I expect Itami to win this, but I just worry that he’ll kick Tyler in the face. Just kick his guts out, okay, Hideo?