The release of Furious 7 will soon be upon us, which means yet another day goes by where I am disappointed that Vin Diesel et al. did not level up to be a septet of skilled Chinese warriors who use cars and kung fu to defeat drug-smuggling albino peacocks. Being better versed in animated children’s movies than anything that is fast or furious or some combination therein, the following pictures tweeted out by Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson leave me more confused than my Kinsey scale when Michelle Rodriguez wears a tank top and gets real shootsy-swearsy:
My incredible powers of deduction lead me to believe that either The Rock’s character is named Hobbs, or this gritty live-action version of Calvin & Hobbes got way dark (and maybe kinda gay). I dunno about you, but I’m rooting for the latter.
Either way, I’m really happy to see ol’ Dwayne really branching out and really showing his range in this movie. He’s really working against type, especially his other action franchises:
He’s the real Daniel Day-Lewis of our generation.
