Culture

Ted Cruz Still Hasn’t Learned To Stop Forcing Awkward Displays Of Family Unity

Ted Cruz Holds Super Tuesday Election Night Watch Party In Home State Of Texas
Getty Image

All hail Caroline Cruz, the tiny rebel who doesn’t care who her daddy is, what he’s running for, and why she should be giving up her play time (the regular kind, not the type that involves Carly Fiorina and her tight-faced death grimace) to appear on stage and cooperate with him. And who can blame her? Especially after the hours and hours of torture Cruz put her through while making his campaign ads and the terrifying singing she has to endure from his clueless running mate.

The little girl who let the world know that a video of her father looking pretty in a pink boa and “big underwear” exists and made bunny ears behind his head while he talked to supporters isn’t quite yet done with letting her father know who’s boss yet, though. After she famously lurched away from him as he tried to give her a hug, Caroline gave the world yet another reason to think she and her daddy got beef after she refused to even pretend in front of a crowd of supporters.

According to Gawker, which first posted this footage (soon to become legen…wait for it…dary), the magic you’re about to see occurred during a campaign stop in South Bend, Indiana. Cruz, clearly not having learned his lesson the first time he was publicly rejected by his own child in front of a giggling nation, brought Caroline and her sister out to say hi to the people. And then, when he reached down to show everyone that “we’re all cool,” she did not perform as requested. She ran right off that stage.

Please clap:

If you’re gasping anything other than “oh my gooooooood” right now, you have obviously never felt the utter and abject humiliation of being de-nied by a child before. Nothing stings more.

Want to see the whole thing with sound? You can watch the video below. We’ve cued it up to the important moment:

Is it possible that the only person who’s less impressed with Cruz more than John Boehner is his own oldest daughter? Stay tuned for more updates.

×