A live-action Spy vs. Spy movie is the dumbest idea I’ve ever heard

Famously hideous ginger Ron Howard is looking for a project to direct before his ambitious adaptation of Stephen King’s Dark Tower next year, and word on the street is that he’s considering a live-action adaptation of Spy vs. Spy, the old Mad Magazine cartoon about glorified stick figures who one-up each other. Might I suggest Terrence Howard playing both parts?  The man is a master of similar-but-different clothes and hats.


A live-action bigscreen version [of Spy v Spy] is moving forward at Warner Bros for Ron Howard to direct. David Koepp will produce with Howard and his Imagine Entertainment partner Brian Grazer. Right now, Koepp will oversee a script that will be written by John Kamps. Kamps just teamed with Koepp to write Premium Rush, the Sony Pictures movie directed by Koepp, who also just rewrote the Jack Ryan film for Paramount Pictures. The film will be a physical and highly visual action comedy with two spies going mano a mano in ruthless fashion.
Spy Vs. Spy will be down the line for Howard, who always has a busy dance card. As Howard and Grazer and Akiva Goldsman prepare to turn in the rewrite of The Dark Tower over the next couple of weeks to see if Universal Pictures will fund the ambitious adaptation of the Stephen King novel series planned to span three films and two TV series runs, Howard has been eyeing projects he might be able to squeeze in before. [Deadline]

Look, I know we say it so much that we’ve become numb to it, but does it ever just boggle your mind how unbelievably dumb Hollywood people are?  Spy vs. Spy is a minimalist cartoon, the spy movie boiled down to its absolute essence.  A movie made out of that is like an online role-playing game about arm wrestling, or a five-course French supper made entirely of MREs.  I guess what I’m trying to say is, Ron Howard is a goblin and we should lock him in a dumpster before he bites someone.