If you’ve never read a Plot Recreated With Reviews, that’s when we try to recreate an entire movie using just quotes from the reviews — summary only, no analysis! The idea is that critics are at their best when just trying to describe the insane plot of a schlock feature, and that schlock features are at their best when being described by dumbfounded critics.
And what better insane schlock for critics to try to decide than Geostorm, in which “famous satellite designer” Gerard Butler tries to save the world from a rogue weather control system? So, without further ado, here is Geostorm, recreated using only summary quotes from the critics who saw it. Who had to pay to see it, in fact, since it didn’t screen for critics.