Guess what completely idiotic thing they’re making a movie out of today

See this picture?  It’s a still from Atari’s Missile Command.  The object of this game is to use your blue dong thingie (bottom) to shoot the red dong thingies (top) before they destroy your cities.  Can you imagine trying to write a whole screenplay from this scenario? (And you can’t just steal the blue dong stuff from Watchmen, that’s cheating).  That’s the challenge for writers Burk Sharpless and Matt Sazama, who’ve been hired to write a Missile Command movie, and it sounds much harder than what that Buried douche was working with.  Well, more pointless anyway.

Atari has set up its “Missile Command” at 20th Century Fox. Sharpless and Sazama are set to adapt. The scribes have little to adapt beyond a title to build a plot around and a Cold War-heavy scenario of players having to defend their cities from being destroyed by a rain of missiles. Game celebrated its 30th anniversary last year.

Game is the third top title that Atari has set up as a film property, after Universal Pictures acquired “Asteroids” and Sony Pictures Animation picked up “Rollercoaster Tycoon.” It also becomes the latest brand from the ’80s to get the bigscreen treatment, with Universal readying a number of toy-based properties from Hasbro, including “Battleship,” and Mattel having set up others, including “He-Man and the Masters of the Universe” at Sony and “View-Master” at DreamWorks. [Variety]

My God, this could be the next Prince of Persia, or Max Payne!  Either way, it’s sure to enjoy a high level of name recognition among people too old to care about a movie about missile fights.  Sounds like a win-win.