Fox Is Fast And Furiously Rebooting ‘Hitman’ With Paul Walker. No, Really.

02.06.13 6 years ago 11 Comments

The first Hitman starring Timothy Olyphant grossed almost $100 million back in 2007, based on the Square Enix video game of the same name. The movie made just enough money that a sequel was being planned as recently as 2009 and 2010. Now, just five years after Hitman, Fox is rebooting it as Agent 47 starring Paul Walker. Ugh. Yes, Paul Walker will take time out of his busy schedule filming Too Fast, Too Furio15: Poughkeepsie Drift, the 15th installment of the Fast and Furious franchise set in Poughkeepsie, New York. They’re on the fifteenth film right? If not, reread this paragraph in a few years. They’ll get there.

Fox hired commercials director Aleksander Bach to direct this, his first feature film. The script duties are going to Michael Finch (Predators) and the writer of the original Hitman, Skip Woods. Yes, the same guy who wrote the version they’re already rebooting. Hollywood, what, what, what are you doing? This could all be avoided if you had a sassy gay friend.

Paul Walker will shave his head in lieu of acting when shooting commences in Berlin and Singapore this June. This is definitely not Olyphantastic, but at least it’s not Cam Gigandet.

Here’s a video director Aleksander Bach directed to give you an idea of how he might shoot a feature film. As for the writers, well, did you see the first Hitman movie five years ago? Yeah.

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