Springfield, OR To Get Official ‘Simpsons’ Mural, Is Now The Only Real Springfield

Springfield, Oregon is hereby deemed the only true Springfield.

Denizens of all other Springfields are bowing their heads in shame today with the news that the picturesque northwest burg has been chosen to receive an official “Simpsons” mural on the side of their art center, because creator Matt Groening grew up there and now has hundreds of millions of dollars. While there's no artwork available at this time, city spokesman Niel Laudati says the mural will depict Homer lounging in a hammock, Bart climbing a tree, Marge painting, and Lisa and Maggie riding a bike.

So tell me, Other Springfields, which TV geniuses did you spawn hmmm?

“Legendary voice actress June Foray?” offers Springfield, Massachussetts sheepishly. Psshhhh!! Did June Foray create a multi-billion-dollar empire? No! No, she did not. She did a couple dumb animal voices and now she's 96. Next!

“'Grey's Anatomy' star Justin Chambers is a pretty good act –” begins Springfield, Ohio, before quickly thinking better of it

“How about 'Home Movies' and 'Metalocalypse' creator Brendon Small?” asks Springfield, Illinois pathetically, as if creating a couple of Adult Swim shows is comparable to the brilliance of a landmark series like “The Simpsons.” Oh my god, you did not just say that, Springfield, Illinois. You did not.

“Hey, but we hosted the official premiere of 'The Simpsons Movie!” cries out Springfield, Vermont defensively. Oh gee, you mean the premiere where Matt Groening sent a plaque to Springfield, Oregon that said, “Yo to Springfield, Oregon – The Real Springfield!” because he obviously wanted to hold the premiere there and not in Vermont? Is that the premiere you're talking about, losers?

Any other Springfields care to challenge the ultimate authority of Springfield, Oregon? State your case below and then prepare to be disgraced, ridiculed and condescended to.

×