Triple H And Stephanie McMahon Have Been Elected To WWE’s Board Of Directors. Wait, That’s Real?

So, you know how the end of every evil authority storyline in WWE is the mystical “Board of Directors” deciding or ruling on something, causing people to get hired or fired or gain or lose power at random? Matches sometimes happen, and major things sometimes change and get changed back again a few months later when everybody’s forgotten.

Triple H and Stephanie McMahon are WWE’s current evil authority figures, and they’ve just been elected to WWE’s real-life Board of Directors. No, I didn’t think it was a real thing, either. The only two ways now to end stories are Triple H and Stephanie having absolute power, or ruling in favor of punishing themselves.

Here’s the press release. We’ll pretend Robyn Peterson is Swedish pop star Robyn.

WWE® ELECTS STEPHANIE MCMAHON, PAUL LEVESQUE AND ROBYN PETERSON TO BOARD OF DIRECTORS

STAMFORD, Conn., February 26, 2015 – WWE (NYSE: WWE) today announced that WWE Chief Brand Officer Stephanie McMahon, WWE Executive Vice President, Talent, Live Events & Creative Paul Levesque and Chief Technology Officer and Head of Product for Mashable Robyn Peterson have been elected to its Board of Directors.

“The appointments of Stephanie, Paul and Robyn to WWE’s Board of Directors will be invaluable to the company as we continue to transform our business and look toward a new era of unprecedented growth,” said WWE Chairman & Chief Executive Officer, Vince McMahon. “I am confident that our Board of Directors and senior management team is stronger than ever and well-positioned for future success.”

Stephanie McMahon, WWE’s Chief Brand Officer, is responsible for leading the company’s efforts to further enhance its global brand reputation among key constituencies including business partners, advertisers, media, investors and the public sector. She serves as the company’s brand ambassador and works with WWE’s business units to support key growth initiatives. McMahon is the primary spokesperson for WWE’s corporate social responsibility initiatives and is participating in the prestigious Eisenhower Fellowship, an international leadership exchange program for outstanding professionals. She began her career with WWE in 1998 as an Account Executive for WWE’s sales office in New York City, in addition to being a TV personality, and she has overseen multiple business areas including WWE’s Creative, Talent Relations, Talent Brand Management, Live Events, Digital, Social and Mobile businesses.

Paul Levesque has more than 20 years of experience at WWE as an executive and performer. Well known as WWE Superstar Triple H®, Levesque is also WWE’s Executive Vice President, Talent, Live Events & Creative, leading the talent development and talent relations departments responsible for recruiting and training the company’s Superstars and Divas. He recently oversaw the development and launch of the state-of-the-art WWE Performance Center in Orlando, Florida, which serves as the home to WWE’s talent developmental system, NXT. Levesque also oversees all business operations for the more than 320 annual live events, including scheduling, ticket pricing strategy and promotion, and continues to play an integral role behind-the-scenes as a director and producer shaping the storylines in WWE’s programming.

Robyn Peterson, Chief Technology Officer and Head of Product for Mashable, is a seasoned technology executive with more than 15 years of experience in web, mobile and video product development. Peterson is a member of Mashable’s Operating Committee, where he directs product strategy and development and manages the product, design and engineering teams. Peterson led the redesign of Mashable.com in 2012 which ushered in a 100 percent increase in mobile page views, pages-per-visit and ad engagement, and oversees the development of Mashable’s Velocity platform, a technology that predicts and tracks the viral life cycle of digital media content. Prior to Mashable, Peterson was the head of product at Next Issue Media, the magazine and newspaper consortium funded by News Corp., Conde Nast, Time Inc., Meredith and Hearst. Earlier in his career, Peterson served as Vice President for Technology and Product for NBCUniversal.

In a related story, Seth Rollins has been elected Head of Social Media.

Wait, I read that wrong.