Ideally, Meng selling WCW t-shirts is you reading this report.
Previously on the Best and Worst of WCW Monday Nitro: Sting is back, but nobody knows which side he’s on. He’s experimenting with Crow cosplay, but he hasn’t really gotten into it yet. Also, the major Heavyweight Championship feud heading into Halloween Havoc is Hulk Hogan acting like an a-hole on the set of a 3 Ninjas movie and Macho Man Randy Savage wanting to kill himself over it. Things are great!
Click here to watch this week’s episode on WWE Network, and here to watch Halloween Havoc ’96. You can catch up with all the previous episodes on the Best and Worst of Nitro tag page, and you totally should.
Before We Begin
Here’s what you need to know about Slim Jim’s Halloween Havoc ’96, easily the year’s best pro wrestling pay-per-view named after a small cylinder of meat. I mean, unless you include In Your House: Assembly Line Run-Off.
Dean Malenko Is The New Cruiserweight Champion
If you can’t tell what’s happening in the picture, that’s Stinko Malenko plucking Rey Mysterio off the second rope and gutwrench powerbombing him to f*cking eternal death.
Here’s a link to the complete match, which I’d definitely recommend checking out if you’re in the mood for one of those 20-minute show-opening WCW Cruiserweight clinics. If you need a rundown of the match, it’s Malenko vs. Mysterio, which means it starts really excitingly, ends really excitingly and has about 13 minutes in the middle of Malenko lying on one of Mysterio’s appendages. If you know me, you know that’s my favorite part. Malenko would just straight-up refuse to have a high flying match with you. He’d grab you by the wrist and throw you at the ground and just lie on it and bend it for half an hour. It’s like watching Picasso paint in blue.
The best part of the Malenko/Mysterio rivalry is that for as good as it was, it was never about anything more than having the Cruiserweight Championship. They built it around Malenko stealing Rey’s mask and getting Mike Tenay to write book reports about what that means in Mexican culture, but aside from a fun moment in the middle of the match where Rey gets it back and switches masks mid-ring, it’s just wrestling as hard as possible until the other guy drops. It wasn’t so much about what Mysterio did, but when he did it. You remember what he did BECAUSE of when he did it.