The Best And Worst Of WWE NXT 8/9/17: Face To Face

Previously on the Best and Worst of WWE NXT: Ember Moon got played by Asuka, Hideo Itami learned the hard way that Aleister Black should not be messed with, and Authors Of Pain forgot to waterproof their torture basement.

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And now, the Best and Worst of WWE NXT for August 9, 2017.

Best: Don’t Turn Away

The opening segment of this week’s NXT was expertly done, in my opinion. SAnitY lures the Authors Of Pain out to the ring, and Paul Ellering, thinking he’s got the upper hand, takes the bait and sends his monsters into combat — not expecting a returning Eric Young, who jumps Akam and zipties him to a guardrail as Rezar gets the sh*t kicked out of him in the ring. While we’ve seen AOP struggle in matches from time to time, this is the first moment where the team has actually felt vulnerable, which is one hell of a mountain to climb when you’re a monster-heel team.

The image of Akam breaking the guardrail loose and dragging it to the ring to try and help out his partner was phenomenal, and the standing senton he took from Killian Dain (as he stood on his chest, natch) looked alllll sorts of painful. Even better was the image of SAnitY posing with the titles, only for Dain to forcefully throw the belt down on Rezar’s chest. I’m finally buying what SAnitY is selling.

Best: Laugh Now, Laugh Later

A brief, incomplete list of why this segment was delightful:

1. The Iconic Duo (duh)
2. The idea that the Iconic Duo have their own YouTube channel where they post makeup tutorials
3. The Iconic Duo repeatedly saying “Ruby Riot” as if they were speaking to a baby or a dog
4. Billie Kaye’s sarcastic tone when she says, “I love the holes in your ears, Ruby”
5. Apparently, Australians say the word “tattoos” like “ta-dooz”

Guys, I’ve watched this thing at least 10 times and keep finding new things to love about it. Iconic Duo forever.

Worst: Ignorance Is Bliss

Believe it or not, Angelo Dawkins is practically an NXT original, having signed with WWE in late 2012, mere months after NXT became the company’s official developmental promotion. in his half-decade with NXT, he has accomplished nothing. Literally nothing. He’s lost a few matches on TV, and he was Sasha Banks’ bodyguard that one time, but other than that, he has made zero impact beyond being known as “the guy who wears two headbands, and occasionally a backpack.”

I don’t think people really realize how long five years is, so I’ll put it this way: Dawkins was trained by Dusty Rhodes, Bill DeMott and Billy Gunn. One of those men is dead; another resigned in shame after repeated abuse allegations; the last one was let go due to testing positive for PEDs. All three of those things happened two years ago. Dude has been in the oven longer than a burnt Thanksgiving turkey.

I have no idea if Street Profits is going to be the gimmick that sticks for Dawkins (and his partner, Montez Ford, who seems to have significantly more charisma and speed in the ring). Thus far, it seems heavy on taunts and gesticulations, and light on actual wrestling. (The only note about the actual match I jotted down was “Dawkins’ spear was sick, everything else was fine.”) Their post-match promo on YouTube is…. not very good, which is maybe why it was left off the broadcast. We’ll see where it goes, but I can’t in good conscience best a segment that did not entertain me, no matter how hard someone has worked to get their time to shine on TV.

Supplemental Worst for the Metro Brothers, aka the new Deuce and Domino, which is a gimmick we never, ever needed to see again.

Best: Protection

This is the second time in a month where Bobby Roode has completely manipulated William Regal into making a match specifically designed to soften up his TakeOver opponent. He previously got Regal to pit Drew McIntyre against Killian Dain, and now, he’s convinced him to throw Roddy Strong at McIntyre so the lil’ guy can try to earn another title shot against him following TakeOver. Do y’all believe that he is a Jedi yet? These aren’t the droids you’re looking for.

I loved the pomposity of Roode in this segment, too, coming out and doing his full entrance, complete with championship pose in the middle of the ring, all while being flanked by a pack of security guards who don’t even get in the ring, because they’re not there to protect Roode from McIntyre — they’re there to stop Roddy Strong from potentially interfering with this big-money match. The hubris of this man is incredible, and man oh man does it make me want to see him get punched in the face — the sign of a good heel!

Supplemental Best for Roode quickly putting his hand out at the end of the segment for a handshake he knows he’s not going to get from McIntyre, then sort of shrugs it off and bails, acting as if he deserved points for even trying. Dude is on another level with his character right now.

Best: Big Choice

Following their barn-burner of a match last month, tonight we got Oney Lorcan/Jason Statham Danny Burch Part II, and it was even better than the first. The duo took the first three minutes of the match feeling each other out with brief attempts at holds and a cravate from Burch. Once the match finally opens up, we head straight to commercial break, and when we come back, these two guys are, somewhat predictably, beating the snot out of each other. Lorcan wrecks Burch for a minute, then vice versa, repeat. The impact from their strikes literally made me jot down in my notes, “Do these guys know wrestling is a work?” which is probably the best compliment they could ever receive.

The ending of the match played out perfectly, too, with Burch challenging Lorcan to hit him but ending up having the tables turned when Oney goes again for the single-leg crab that Burch tapped out to in their last meeting. Danny knows this could be the end of him, so he kicks Oney, hard, like, 10 f*cking times in the shoulder to break it. Instead of losing control, Oney locks in a full Boston crab instead, that Burch is able to reverse into a flash pin for the victory. The series is even at 1 apiece, and if this doesn’t end in a rubber match followed by a tag team forming for the Dusty Rhodes classic, I’ll eat my hat. (Note: I do not own a hat.)

Worst: Over It

Andrade “Cien” Almas’ current storyline – that of a party-boy who can’t close out a match — has been going on since April. Four months. Four months where virtually nothing has happened. Season two of The Walking Dead moved faster than this sh*t, guys. Almas’ valet, wearing what appears to be fancy lingerie, is identified on TV for the first time as Zelina Vega, and she is at ringside to convince Almas to stop f*cking around and just beat No Way Jose. That means no more tranquilo, no more cocky covers — y’know, the things that actually define his character. Almas makes short work of Jose, who is probably only a few more losses away from being known as “FKA No Way Jose” on your local indie card, and then Vega gets on the mic to challenge Johnny Gargano to a match at TakeOver: Brooklyn III, meaning Almas will once again be losing at TakeOver. Grrrrrreat.

Next Week: A contract signing between Asuka and Ember Moon, plus Drew McIntyre vs. Roddy Strong, with a future NXT title shot on the line.