Previously on the Best and Worst of WWE NXT: WWE UK Champion Tyler Bate had his first-ever title defense, Billie Kay scored the pin in a tag match and then was the only participant in said match to not be placed in a No. 1 contender’s triple threat (because that makes sense), and the Authors Of Pain wrote a few more chapters of violence.
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And now, the Best and Worst of WWE NXT for February 22, 2017.
Worst: “Where the hell is Brandon, and who the hell are you?”
Great questions! My name is Scott Heisel, and I’ve been writing for With Spandex since last summer. I’ve been asked by Brandon to take the reins on his Best And Worst Of NXT column for the foreseeable future, and it is my extreme honor to get the call-up. Just as a point of order: I typically don’t look at NXT taping spoilers, so if you’re worried about having future episodes or story arcs brought up in my B&W columns, don’t be! I’d like to try and keep the comments a spoiler-free zone, too, so if you feel the need to talk about something that’s going to happen in the coming weeks, try to keep it vague, for the sake of those of us who want to be surprised.
Best: NXT Arena, You Got Swerved
This week’s episode opens with a triple threat match between the two losers of last week’s women’s tag match, Ember Moon and Liv Morgan (dressed tonight as a waitress from Characters on Bar Rescue), as well as the half of the winning team that didn’t make the pin, Peyton Royce. I still can’t get over how baffling a booking decision that is, but whatevs, it’s developmental, right?
The winner of this match will earn a title shot at Asuka at, presumably, NXT TakeOver: Orlando, though it’s never specified beforehand. So odds are, every single person both in the arena and watching at home assumes Ember will win, as every single person both in the arena and at home have already fantasy-booked Ember v. Asuka at the Wrestling Event The Night Before The Grandaddy Of ‘Em All — and that’s where the match gets interesting.
Peyton does a hell of a job keeping Ember out of the ring for what feels like an eternity, which ends up making the crowd revolt a little bit. They know Ember is supposed to win this thing, so just let her get in and fight already. (It doesn’t help things that Liv Morgan has yet to develop offense that is anywhere near convincing.) Finally, Ember gets back in only to have Liv knock her back out of the ring, which really makes the arena groan. Then, all of a sudden, Peyton pins Liv with a gorgeous bridging fisherman’s suplex, and we have a new No. 1 contender — one that probably no one predicted. I was legitimately shocked at the match result, and I doubt I was alone.
Later, we get gloating promo from Peyton Royce and Billie Kay (further cementing their new-age LayCool status), where it’s revealed her match against Asuka will be next week, not at NXT TakeOver: Orlando. So clearly, NXT is taking their time before locking in their TakeOver card, and trolling the NXT Arena is just a nice bonus.
Best: The War Of The Warped Tour Continues
Mark Andrews vs. Pete Dunne was an encore performance from the WWE UK Championship Tournament, and it was just as good the second time around. I love how these two guys’ theme songs might as well be blaring out the Warped Tour mainstage, with Mandrews’ theme a pitch-perfect example of new-school pop-punk a la State Champs and Dunne’s theme mirrors Bring Me The Horizon so closely, Oli Sykes might contemplate calling his lawyer.
And seeing as how modern metalcore is the unstoppable, monster heel of rock music these days, Dunne goes over after a great back-and-forth match, the highlight of which had to be Mandrews’ reverse hurricanrana. Dunne is so tailor-made to run roughshod through NXT and eventually the main roster; I hope he gets the looks he clearly deserves.
Worst: The Patrick Clark Experience
Never forget America The Jobber, y’all.
Worst: Welp, We Made A Theme Song NXT Champion
Okay, listen: I love “Glorious Domination” as much as anybody else. I even put the dang thing on my year-end Pazz & Jop ballot (and was the only music critic to do so). But I think it needs to be said: “Glorious Domination” is the NXT champion, not Bobby Roode. Granted, Roode has been entertaining on screen, but his NXT matches have been so rote, it’s impossible not to find yourself scrolling through your social media on your phone while he’s wrestling.
This episode’s main event, pitting Roode against No Way Jose in the battle of theme songs that are more over than the actual wrestlers who use them, was 100 percent a house show match with zero consequences and little in the way of serious storytelling or bumping.
Honestly, it felt like watching two five-year-olds play an old wrestling video game, full of punches, kicks and stomps (and one of the kids clearly figured out which button does taunts, because Roode does his “glorious” pose roughly once every two-and-a-half minutes).
Furthermore, the ending is the epitome of braindead babyface behavior: Roode gets knocked outside after a power move from Jose, but instead of letting the ref count, Jose jumps out there and brings the champ back in, which results in a surprise Glorious DDT for the 1-2-3. This isn’t a title match, so why would Jose care if Roode gets counted out? If anything, a countout victory against the NXT champion would probably earn him a title shot, if modern-day WWE booking is to be believed.
Best: And They Say That A Hero Will Save Us
After the match, Roode continues to beat down Jose until a returning Kassius Ohno’s music hits and Chris Hero skips down to the ring in a Life Of Pablo knockoff tee, a black blazer and some loose fit jeans purchased with his mom’s Kohl’s cash left over from Christmas to a surprisingly hot crowd response (apparently Brandon convinced all of these people to subscribe to Hulu back in NXT’s early days).
He tells Roode he wants a shot at the champion, so Roode gets back in the ring and the two scrap for a reasonable amount of time, with the OG KO coming out on top via a series of elbows and a clothesline over the top rope (which comes after Ohno hilariously chucks his left shoe at Roode and the dude sells it like he got shot in the gut). So now we know who is going to keep Bobby Roode busy for the next few weeks, at least until Shinsuke Nakamura calls for his rematch. I’ll take this matchup over No Way Jose any day.
Next week: Two announced title matches and zero title changes (presumably)! See you then, fam.
