The Best And Worst Of WWE NXT 7/26/17: Be Kind, Rewind

Previously on the Best and Worst of WWE NXT: Killian Dain went down, Ember Moon shone bright, and Oney Lorcan made a man bleed with his bare hands.
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And now, the Best and Worst of WWE NXT for July 26, 2017.

Best: Lay Lei’D Lay

Tonight’s episode of NXT opens just like last week’s episode, with Ember Moon headed to the ring. Unlike last week’s match against Ruby Riot, however, this contest was over in about 60 seconds. Odd to see Lei’d Tapa, a former TNA Knockout, show up with a full ring entrance and everything only to get punked out in the blink of an eye, but at least I got to make a random Bob Dylan reference, so it works out. Afterward, Moon demands another title shot from Asuka at TakeOver: Brooklyn III in her best promo yet — it’s short, fiery and effective, and makes me forget all those weeks of cardboard-ass line-reads as she wore her arm in a sling.

Side note: How refreshing was it to see someone wrestle on two straight episodes of NXT? It almost never happens anymore, due to how they tape their episodes in blocks, but we got lucky this time with this episode starting off the new batch of tapings, so Ember Moon was fresh (as was Cezar Bononi, who also wrestled last week and tonight). One of the biggest struggles of NXT is the limited amount of TV time offered, meaning featured characters can go weeks — even months — at a time without appearing in Full Sail. I’m not asking for the show to be expanded to two hours or anything; I’m simply appreciating the rarity of back-to-back appearances.

Worst: We Need To Talk About Ali

Aleister Black gets not one but two separate vignettes this week, saying such meaningless gibberish as “I love [wrestling] so much I’ve hated it,” and yet we still have no actual storyline for him. Don’t get me wrong: He rules in the ring, and I am into watching him, but for f*ck’s sake, dude debuted in NXT four months ago and has been spinning his wheels ever since. It feels like Finn Bálor all over again, but at least that guy got a title reign out of his cup of coffee in the minors. If Black is being fast-tracked to the main roster, cool, but give him something to do down here, won’t you?

Best: TakeOver Themes That Are Surprisingly Not Trash

Is it possible? Do we have an entire NXT TakeOver with good theme music? I already gave Code Orange their well-deserved props last week, and the two additional themes revealed this week are varying degrees of decent-to-good, depending on your tastes. Creeper’s “Poison Pens” is a solid double-time punk track that should be right up the alley of any AFI or My Chemical Romance fan, while that Phil Ade song sounded fine if you’re into that whole Migos thing. I fully expect the next TakeOver to be exclusively scored by, like, Attila or some other equivalent garbage band, but I’ll take these wins when I can get ’em.

Best: Chaos Theory

As down as as I was on SAnitY literally eating paper as a way to intimidate the Authors Of Pain the other week, this segment made me totally change my opinion on the feud. As Motorola and Razr approach the ring, ostensibly to murder the team of Timothy Bumpers and David Ramos, a wild Nikki Cross appears, allowing Killian Dain and Alexander Wolfe to sneak in and disembowel AOP’s opponents before they can.

If you’ve ever watched a nature documentary, you know the worst thing an animal can do is try to steal another predator’s dinner, so of course, all four men get into a quick staredown before the bomb-throwing starts. The crowd reacts positively to this, because why wouldn’t people be stoked to watch three gigantic men and a man who does terrible hardcore dancing beat the snot out of each other? NXT’s Shield/Wyatts feud is officially on, and now we know who will be fighting for the tag titles at TakeOver: Brooklyn III.

One small Worst, though: So is Eric Young out of SAnitY or something? Is he shoot injured? Was there a coup within the group that allowed Nikki Cross to take the Iron Throne without anyone knowing? It seems bizarre we haven’t seen him with SAnitY for the past few episodes, and the commentary team hasn’t addressed it (unless I blacked out for a bit, which happens every time Percy speaks).

What We Did Inside The Purple Pants This Week

Mark it an eight, dude: This match was the first time I actually found myself enjoying the Velveteen Dream in the ring. Maybe it’s because he was in there against greener-than-gooseshit Cezar Bononi, a man who is tailor-made to be slotted into a “I am the illegitimate son of Giant Gonzalez” angle which I pray never happens, but Dream made Bononi look good, which speaks volumes to his own ability. I mean, Bononi hit a goddamn Falcon Arrow. (Maybe he used to post on Wreddit.)

Dream’s finishing sequence of the cartwheel DVD into flying elbow looked better this time, and his post-match interview with Kayla Braxton finally completes the character, as Dream turns on the arena and calls everyone ugly. Finally, we know we’re supposed to be booing this guy.

Worst: Who The F*ck Is This?

No, seriously: Who the f*ck is this woman interviewing William Regal? I watch this show every week and I have no idea who she is. Am I having a stroke? Is this a still from an upcoming Brazzers production? So many questions.

Best: Occupy NXT

Drew McIntyre in street clothes hits the ring and tells the NXT Universe, “I don’t have a backwards button,” which is code for “Please don’t chant ‘3-M-B!’ at me in Brooklyn,” and continues by saying he only goes forward — then immediately thereafter, he begins rewinding his career, talking about his first WWE run. Like, does no one actually look at these scripts before memorizing them?

Inanity of that intro aside, McIntyre knocked the rest of this promo out of the park, telling the audience, “I felt entitled, but I wasn’t the hardest worker in the room, and that’s why I failed.” That’s some real shit, y’all, whether or not it was typed onto a piece of paper beforehand. He segues perfectly into calling Bobby Roode entitled, then gets the crowd behind him with the most organic “we are NXT” ever. Dude literally brought an entire arena to their feet and even did a variation of the ol’ Dusty Rhodes “My hand is touching your hand” bit with the home audience, and all of the sudden we’re all rallying behind the guy who has five inches and 20 pounds on his opponent as if he were an underdog. Excellent work here.

Best: Ohno, It Go, It Gone, Bye Bye (Bye)

First things first: Credit to Beige Lunatics, King Of String Style for coming up with that header in last week’s comments. You took the words right out of my mouth. (It must have been while you were kissing me, but I digress.)

Tonight’s main event between Hideo Itami and Kassius Ohno came at the request of the knockout artist, so remember, dude: You asked for this. Itami takes KO to the woodshed immediately and does not let up for the course of their match, sending the show to commercial with a sick guillotine leg drop. (Tangent: I was thrilled to see Itami in control going into and coming out of commercial, because too often it’s the opposite on main roster WWE, where you go into it with the shine and come out of it already into the heat, which never makes any sense from a home-viewer standpoint).

Itami delivers three thudding kicks to the chest, which made me cringe, before Ohno runs through another kick, connects with a Shining Wizard then a cyclone boot for a two-count and a good-looking Senton bomb for another two. Hideo regains control with a nasty-looking corner dropkick, then goes for the GTS and gets foiled, leading to him getting frustrated and just kicking Ohno square in the dick (or “the peninsula south of the equator!” as Mauro Ranallo hilariously called it) for the DQ. The crowd, previously evenly split between both guys, finally begins booing Itami outright, which leads to some suuuuper-stiff kicks, then a two straight GTSes, then Itami drops Ohno on the steel steps, leaving him in a heap. Again, I say: Remember, Kassius, you asked for this.

And just like that, the TakeOver: Brooklyn III card is booked up. We’re definitely getting Roode/McIntyre, AOP/SAnitY and Asuka/Ember, and we’re most likely getting an Ohno/Itami rematch, possibly with a no-DQ stipulation attached (and probably No Way Jose/Andrade “Cien” Almas too). We still have a month to go, too, so it’s nice to know there is some time for these rivalries to continue to develop. Where does that leave Roddy Strong, Aleister Black, Johnny Gargano and Heavy Machinery, though? Some folks aren’t gonna make the TakeOver card.

Next Week: We get paid a visit from both Bobby Roode and Asuka—who I’m sure will only have the nicest of things to say about their respective TakeOver: Brooklyn opponents—plus Johnny Gargano returns to action against Raul Mendoza.