Previously on the Best and Worst of WWE NXT: Peyton Royce became the new No. 1 contender for the NXT Women’s Championship, Mandrews and Pete Dunne continued NXT’s foreign exchange student program, and a guy who looks suspiciously like Chris Hero showed up in a blazer and threw his shoe at Bobby Roode.
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And now, the Best and Worst of WWE NXT for March 1, 2017.
Worst: In This Life, You’re On Your Own
After a whopping one-week buildup, the official debut of the Patrick Clark Experience is upon us. The former Tough Enough competitor — supposedly working a Prince-inspired gimmick — looks like he stumbled into the Rosebuds’ old dressing room and grabbed whatever wasn’t mothballed, which results in a puffy shirt, shiny headband and black pants — an outfit you’d see a male stripper wear to a pirate-themed bachelorette party. His theme song is barely a step above white noise, he doesn’t get to show anything on the mic, and he even gets the dreaded “I’ve seen him around the Performance Center” line from Tom Phillips and Percy Watkins, officially killing any chance of this gimmick having anything remotely resembling a unique personality.
Maybe I’m being too hard. After all, this is developmental. Not everything is supposed to be perfect the first time out. But why create a gimmick that in order to succeed needs the performer to at least attempt to be flamboyant and over-the-top, and then not let him actually try? Baffling.
Clark gets a quick match against Sean Maluta, who apparently missed the Cruiserweight Classic shuttle back to the airport, and it’s a pretty rote affair (minus a random-ass Shining Wizard from Maluta super-early). Clark wins with a very awkwardly executed Fameasser, and within 24 hours of you reading this, you will never remember anything about this match. Hell, maybe within 24 minutes.
Best: Pey It Forward
Unlike last week’s surprise win over Liv Morgan and Ember Moon, the fate of Peyton Royce was never in question in this title match. However, points to her for finally looking confident when staring down Asuka And Her Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. She looked ready for a fight and prepared for whatever ass-based offense might be thrown her way (of which there was plenty — does anyone know how to say, “She calls it the Rear View!” in Japanese?). Additional props go out to the commentary team who made both competitors sound legit, and bonus points to Nigel McGuinness for making a Jumping Bomb Angels reference that would make David Shoemaker proud.
There were some nice sequences in this match, from early on where Peyton showed how well she had scouted Asuka and her kicks, to later when Asuka delivered as dope-as-hell dropkick off the middle turnbuckle that may have caved Peyton’s chest in. Shortly thereafter, the champ only gets a two-count after connecting with a Shining Wizard (made famous by Sean Maluta), but eventually closes it out with an Asuka lock. A post-match beatdown of Asuka begins by Billie Kay and Payton, only to come to an abrupt close by the arrival of Ember Moon, who wrecks shop and saves Asuka’s ass.
Then this happens:
Worst: What An Asuka-hole
Of all the reasons for the Ember Moon/Asuka feud to officially start, it’s because Ember helped Asuka? Like, this makes zero sense. How much of an asshole is Asuka to immediately step to Ember after getting rescued? Is she that overconfident in her ability? And Ember didn’t even get in her face over it either. The whole thing felt unearned, and included just so it can be used in a video package in a month. In a way, this actually makes me want to see Asuka get her ass whooped at TakeOver, but at the same time, this is a pretty weak way to sew discord in the women’s division.
NXT Vignette Roundup!
There were a whole lot of video packages this week, so let’s sum everything up in one big ol’ sentence: SAnitY wants to eradicate disease, thus becoming Jenny McCarthy’s public enemies Nos. 1-4; UK Tournament big man Wolfgang gets a promo package complete with his =w= hand sign, which is exciting for anyone who exists in the middle of the wrestling fan/Weezer fan Venn diagram (aka me); Commissioner Regal, obviously impressed by Kassius Ohno’s shoe-throwing ability, awards the returning NXT superstar with a title shot against Bobby Roode in two weeks’ time, because he’s definitely earned it; and a screencap of a video from NXT’s Twitter feed proves that Shinsuke Nakamura is in fact alive, well, and returning to the NXT arena in a mere seven days. No word yet as to who will inherit Corey Graves’ “KINSHASAAAAAAAAAA!” call.
Best: You Down With AOP? Yeah, You Know Me
Man, the Authors Of Pain are a sick tag team. I just think the world needs to be reminded of that whenever possible. Motorola and Razr look so goddamn intimidating on their own that when they square off against #DIY, a team that’s giving up 200-plus pounds and at least six inches, it makes them look like legit mutant monsters. That said, they’re still learning how to showcase their power: Early in the match, Razar gives Tommaso Ciampa the lightest slamming into the ringpost possible, which immediately takes me out of the match. Luckily, he makes up for it by letting Ciampa slap the ever-loving piss out of him a few minutes later.
While a title change this quickly into AOP’s run seemed unlikely, there’s a great hot-tag sequence toward the end culminating with Johnny Gargano’s slingshot DDT from the apron, then shortly thereafter Gargano and Ciampa reversing AOP’s double powerbomb finisher into double submissions. There were even a few seconds where the arena audience bought this as the finish until …
Worst: What’s My Motivation Here?
The Revival interferes, costing DIY the match, though their motives aren’t clear — Dash and Dawson have beaten DIY before, and they likely have a better shot of beating them again than dethroning AOP, so why get involved before the titles change hands? For a team who is consistently the smartest in the extended WWE universe, this is a pretty boneheaded decision. (However, that Shatter Machine on Akam was pretty tight.) Presumably, this leads to a triple threat at TakeOver: Orlando, which could be a whole lot of painful fun.
Next week: Shinsuke Nakamura returns! I can hear the NXT Arena singing from here.
