Previously on the Best and Worst of WWE NXT: Patrick Clark debuted, Ember Moon helped out Asuka (which is the quickest way to piss Asuka off), and Authors Of Pain retained their tag titles thanks to some top-guy interference.
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And now, the Best and Worst of WWE NXT for March 8, 2017.
Worst: UCF, Your Crowd … Woof.
Say what you will about the crowd at Full Sail (and oh lord, there are plenty of things to say about ’em), but at least those folks are generally hype as hell for just about everything NXT throws out there. This is the first of three episodes filmed at the University of Central Florida, and if the crowd was this dead for literally the first thing they saw, I feel horrible for what is to come. But man, you could literally hear a pin drop when SAniTY pulled a fast one on Tye Dillinger and dragged out a beaten-down Roderick Strong (in one of Gangrel’s old shirts). Like, there was zero reaction. This made your average Japanese crowd sound like the Allstate Arena when “Cult Of Personality” hits. That said…
Best: oh please no, not roddy, stop it
I might not be Brandon, but I, too, share his disdain for Roddy Strong. Tye, if Roddy and No Way Jose are your running buddies, consider getting some new running buddies, bruh.
Worst: No No, Ho Ho
All you need to know about this match is there isn’t even a clip from it on WWE’s YouTube channel, and they upload everything. Ho Ho Lun still has no business standing in a WWE ring, and this glorified squash between him and Andrade “Cien” Almas was the definition of wrestling in a vacuum, with the UCF crowd sitting on their hands the entire time. However, Almas’ big lariat and match-winning hammerlock DDT were both muy bien, as were his pants, which look ready to be inflated at a moment’s notice if Missy Elliott stops by the Performance Center.
Best: End Is Here
While Tommy End showed up during the UK Championship tournament for a great match with Neville, this is our first official look at his new character, Aleister Black. It’s not entirely clear if he’s going to be NXT’s version of Mordecai from mid-’00s Smackdown or something different, but if you like heavily tattooed, bearded wrestlers who look like Opie from Sons Of Anarchy, you’re gonna dig this guy.
Worst: NXT’s Music Supervisor Literally Has The Taste Of A 14-Year-Old Warped Tour Attendee
While there have been a few exceptions to the rule (Beartooth is a guilty pleasure of mine, and Turnstile are good if you dig hardcore but secretly like 311 more), virtually every song NXT licenses for a TakeOver is cut from the same generic-ass metalcore cloth, and as someone who has worked in music journalism for nearly two decades (and been forced to write platitudes about hundreds of these wack-ass bands), let me just state upfront that Crown The Empire and I Prevail are both bland as hell and you shouldn’t bother listening to them. Instead, every time NXT picks a crummy metalcore or active-rock song, I will give you a better replacement. This week, check out Touche Amore’s “Benediction” and Culture Abuse’s “Dream On.” You’re welcome.
Worst: Billie Are You Okay, Are You Okay Billie?
First, the good stuff: Ember Moon appears to have new contacts! And some gladiatorial armor-styled shoulderpads! And a leather garter(?)! Her gimmick is slowly morphing from “a sexy werewolf, maybe?” to “a sexy Russell Crowe, maybe?” and I’m kind of okay with that.
There’s not much to write about the match itself, besides that it was pretty hard hitting with kind of a wonky ending. Peyton Royce almost gets involved as Ember climbs up the turnbuckle to execute her finishing move, but is then stared down, giving Billie time to recover. Yet she takes the Eclipse anyway, resulting in a quick 1-2-3.
Honestly, this would’ve gotten a Best had the post-match stuff not been broadcast. But broadcast it was: After Ember leaves the ring, Billie lays prone on the mat, indicating she has suffered some sort of neck injury. The crowd gets even quieter (if that was somehow possible) while trainers and Peyton rush to her aid. But then nothing really happens, and after a minute or so, she gets up under her own power and walks out of the ring.
Okay. So. If the injury was real: Why show it, and in turn garner sympathy for a heel? If the injury was a work: What is the endgame? Is Billie going to blame Peyton for not getting involved while Ember was setting up her finisher, thus potentially preventing said worked injury, and lead to a blowoff between the two? That seems highly unlikely. Kay herself has already tweeted that she’s okay, so it’s even more curious as to why they would show her incapacitated.
Best: Bash ‘Em Brothers
The last time we saw the Ealy Brothers, they were about to square off against the Revival in their NXT TV debut — and then a wild Samoa Joe appeared and dropped ’em like two twin sacks of potatoes. In this, their second NXT TV appearance, they are headed to the ring to square off against the Revival after six months of waiting for a second chance — and then Paul Ellering authorized the administration of pain, and once again, the Ealys get wrecked. I don’t know whose hand these dudes forgot to shake on their first day at the PC, but man, am I enjoying the fallout.
So after the Authors Of Pain bash the Brothers, the Revival rightfully flees into the crowd, with Scott Dawson not looking nearly as worried as Dash Wilder (who looks like he’s seen his future as a pancake — ironically, something that can be flipped, going against the Revival’s entire credo). Top guys out, indeed.
Worst: Percy Watkins’ Outfit
Untucked white dress shirt, no tie and jeans? GTFO, Percy. Dress for the job you want, not the job of a waiter at a trendy restaurant in a gentrified neighborhood.
Best: The Power Of The Promo
Before the main event, we get back-to-back promos from Kassius Ohno and Bobby Roode hyping their thrown-together title match next week. These were quick but well done: Ohno’s back-and-forth with Tom Phillips (who, thankfully, did not try to face-f*ck anyone) made him immediately likeable and appealing for those who never saw his first NXT run, whereas Roode’s promo reminded everyone just how much of a shitbag he really is. Glorious!
Best: TJP vs. Nak
At first, it seemed kind of random that TJ Perkins was Shinsuke Nakamura’s tune-up match. Then I realized, “Oh, right, TJP’s thing is the kneebar, and Nak’s knee has been ‘injured’ for a month.” I’ll be damned, sometimes the booking actually makes sense!
Anyway, this was a pretty dope match for both participants, with TJP looking the best he’s looked in-ring since the Cruiserweight Classic (weird sleeveless hoodie with shoulder pads and all). His breakdance-inspired move reversals looked great, and while dabbing is also still a thing he does, it did lead to Nakamura dabbing, which was all sorts of wonderful.
Predictably, Nak won, but TJP made him earn it, with plenty of intense striking sequences (as well as a moment when Nak just chucks TJP to the floor from the apron, which actually made me guffaw). Following the match’s conclusion, William Regal announced that Nak would face the winner of Roode vs. Ohno at NXT TakeOver: Orlando. Gee, I wonder who’s gonna win.
Next week: The NXT championship will be defended in front of a dead-ass crowd. Oh no, Ohno!
