Previously on the vintage Best and Worst of WWF Raw Is War: Connecticut blueblood Hunter Hearst Helmsley won the 1997 King of the Ring and decided he was suddenly really into politics and what goes on backstage. Also, Faarooq disbanded the Nation of Domination, promising we’d see the induction of two new members next week.
If you haven’t seen this episode, you can watch it on WWE Network here. Check out all the episodes you may have missed at the Best and Worst of WWF Raw Is War and Best and Worst of WWF Monday Night Raw tag pages. Follow along with the competition here.
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And now, the Best and Worst of WWF Raw Is War for June 16, 1997.
Bret Screwed Bret: Prologue
The most important news from this week’s show is that Shawn Michaels and Bret Hart have gotten into a real-life backstage fight, causing multiple injuries, a walk-out, new contract negotiations and all the important building blocks in the foundation of the Montreal Screwjob.
As you might recall, Bret and Shawn have been work-shooting on each other for months now, including promos in which Michaels said he’d seen Bret Hart on the road and that he was “no role model,” and the infamous Sunny Days promo about how married Bret Hart was hooking up with Sunny. Things came to a head before last week’s show and a fight broke out.
Here’s the writeup from the June 16, 1997, edition of the Observer, in case you’d like the perspective of someone who wasn’t still in school, furiously refreshing AOL Keyword Wrestling or whatever as this was happening.
Apparently the problems escalated before the show on 6/9 as both were meeting in long personal conversations with Vince McMahon, to the point that McMahon was having little time to converse with anyone else regarding details and attention to the ensuing live television show. Hart wound up going into Michaels dressing room and the two began arguing. There were eye witnesses to this which basically said they argued and started fighting, and it was rather quickly broken up. Most versions have it that Hart was screaming about how Michaels comments affected his personal life and he crossed the line and that Michaels was a smart-ass back. The two went at it, with most versions having it that Hart started it but that Michaels was every bit as guilty in precipitating it. It was believed to have been a one-sided short tussle which resulted in a few punches thrown and a large clump of Michaels’ hair being pulled out of his head to the point it was described that Michaels was given a major bald spot. Michaels face was all puffed up from the punches and he was bleeding from the elbow, apparently from being thrown on the floor. Hart apparently aggravated his recently repaired knee, but none of the injuries were serious. Agents Jerry Brisco and Pat Patterson and some other wrestlers quickly broke it up with Hart on top of Michaels pounding on him, and Brisco and Hart argued loudly back-and-forth in another room for a long time before Hart finally left the arena at about 8:30 p.m. without appearing on the television show. Michaels was blown up from the fight and a little worse for wear, but not injured to the point he couldn’t have appeared on the television show …
Michaels was going crazy after the predicament and said that he would never work against anyone in the Hart Foundation because he couldn’t trust them. He ended up walking out of the building claiming that he couldn’t work or stay in this kind of an environment just before the show was scheduled to go on the air at 7:57 p.m.
Other performers claim as he left the building that he was screaming about how he was quitting and that if he could make it to Boston (where Nitro was being done live) on time he’d just as soon go there. At that point the entire television show had to be scrapped and a new show put together literally minutes before it went on the air.
The kayfabe consequences are:
- Bret Hart suffered injuries to his knee and will miss a few days
- Shawn Michaels suffered a knee injury and a neck injury that will keep him at home feeling sorry for himself for 4-6 weeks
- Shawn Michaels and Stone Cold Steve Austin have been stripped of the WWF Tag Team Championship, and a tournament will be held with the winners facing Stone Cold and a partner of his choosing, who “we hope” will be Shawn Michaels
- Vince McMahon: “Unprofessional conduct by both individuals, but unquestionably from what we understand, Bret Hart clearly the aggressor.”
Michaels was supposed to face Pillman after the pull-apart last week, but he bailed, so Mankind got the spot. That continues this week, with Stone Cold showing up to declare he doesn’t need a tag team partner and, you guessed it, Mankind getting that spot.
Best: Back That Ass Up
Things get deeply sexual when Austin says he never asked for Shawn Michaels long hair and ass-shaking, and Mankind responds by saying he’s already got long hair and can shake his ass. “I’ve got a nice ass!” Austin’s response: “You’ve got a nice big fat ass!” It’s supposed to be an insult, but the crowd is silent, and in 2017 I’m like, “well all right Mick, turn around, let’s see it.” Frank the Clown starts hearing ‘The Sound of Silence’ in his head.
Ken Shamrock shows up unhappy about being stunned last week, and says he wants Austin. Austin says that once he’s done beating up Pillman, he’ll beat up Shamrock. We don’t quite get to that point, but we’ll get there in a minute.
Worst: The Tag Team Tournament
Because it fills a lot more TV than just saying, “Owen and the Bulldog get another shot.”
Up first is, surprise, Owen Hart and the British Bulldog vs. the least threatening team in wrestling history, The New Blackjacks. Look at those guys. They look like cardboard pop-ups you’d shoot in a cowboy arcade game. James Ellsworth and Carmella look tougher than the New Blackjacks. At this point in his career, Barry Windham straight-up looks like somebody’s Aunt in a novelty mustache.
Unsurprisingly, Owen and Bulldog win thanks to Blackjacks miscommunication. They tease a breakup, because God knows everyone tuning in is dying to see what happens to the New Blackjacks. This is a landmark show for breakups of tag teams you were never interested in seeing in the first place. I’m surprised Doug Furnas didn’t superkick Phil LaFon and throw him through the window of a Methadone Clinic.
First-round match-up number two is The Headbangers vs. Jerry ‘The King’ Lawler and Rob Van Dam, who are disappointingly not referred to as “High Court.” The story here is that Lawler is still needling the Extreme Championship Wrestling roster, so they show up and get their drunk abusive dad friend The Sandman to jam a Singapore cane up Lawler’s ass and aggressively pull it out. The Headbangers win via … fatality, I guess?
You’ve got to wonder why this is the idea they had for an ECW vs. WWF crossover. To Paul Heyman it was probably, “my guys get on TV and we get tons of national exposure,” but to most ECW fans it felt like, “WWF’s color commentator can beat the shit out of us unless we team up and attack him from behind.” But I get it. If I’m running Local Championship Wrestling and Vince McMahon is like, “hey, we’re gonna let Braun Strowman beat up your top four stars at once but we’ll say ‘Local Championship Wrestling’ ten times,” I’d take it. But I might negotiate up to, “one of our guys gets to put a stick in Braun’s ass.”
Best/Worst: It’s A Shoot, Brother!
Speaking of ECW, Paul Heyman hangs out on color commentary for an “inter-promotional match” between ECW and Jerry Jarrett’s USWA, possibly as an homage to the last time they did an angle with an indie company. The match is between former Chris Candido, formerly WWF’s “Skip” of the Bodydonnas, and Brian Christopher, future sexy grand-master. Sunny is the ring announcer as an exaggerated wink wink nudge nudge to anyone paying attention.
The point of the match, honestly, is to have Paul E. Dangerously scream “shoot” comments into the microphone as loudly and aggressively as possible while the rest of the announce team responds with WILL YOU STOP? The talking point for Candido is that he left WWF to become a big star in ECW, where he wouldn’t need a dumb gimmick. The Christopher discussion, as you might’ve guessed, is about how he’s (gasp) Jerry Lawler’s son. This brings Lawler out of the back, and another brawl ensues.
In 2017 this is all pretty transparent, but in 1997 it was a massive shakeup and change to the status quo, so it’s worth watching with that mindset. There are few matches that have ever been as low-stakes as Brian Christopher vs. Chris Candido, though, so we aren’t exactly talking about respecting booker-men over here.
Worst: Support Local Farmers
And speaking of breakups of tag teams you were never interested in seeing in the first place, The Godwinns are breaking up! Somewhere there’s a talking pig whimpering, “say it ain’t so,” while a helpful spider writes “learn how to work” in a web.
But yeah, Hunter Hearst Helmsley defeats dread rival Phineas I. Godwinn with a pedigree after Godwinn stops wrestling him mid-move to grab and french Chyna. That loss brings out Henry Godwinn, still angry from having his neck broken by the Legion of Doom, to get in Phineas’ face and push him around. It’s like when Seth Rollins turned on The Shield for the pig-fucker set.
Worst: WWF Cruiserweights
This week’s attempt at “light heavyweight action” is one guy from the Fantastics vs. the other guy from the Fantastics. I’m not kidding. Tommy Rogers is the guy on the left who looks like Brad Armstrong from another dimension. Bobby Fulton is the guy on the right in the classic Zack Ryder tights. The only way that look’s ever going to work is if you wrestle as THUNDERTHIGH, slap your clothed leg to pretend you’re loading it with something, then hit people with a loaded leg lariat. And even then it’ll only catch on if you’re able to travel time and do it in the south in 1981.
If you’re not familiar with the Fantastics and want to know how this match goes, imagine if Raw in 2017 was like, “cruiserweight action is up next,” and the match was Sylvan Grenier vs. Renee Dupree. And all they did was chinlocks and dropkicks. Maybe a sunset flip. Maybe.
Best: Canadian Stampede!
Before we get too deep into how this all connects, I want to give a supplemental Worst to Jim ‘The Anvil’ Neidhart for losing to a punch. The match is Goldust vs. Anvil, with the British Bulldog showing up again to harass Marlena for putting her hands on him last week. In the ring, Goldust hits that sliding punch he does and … wins the match. Anvil lost to the MILDLY SURPRISING PUNCH.
Anyway, we finally get the Brian Pillman vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin match we’ve been waiting for for like seven months, at least since Austin broke into Pillman’s home and almost got murdered with a handgun. It follows the absurd stipulation from the proposed Michaels/Hart match at King of the Ring by having all four members of the Hart Foundation handcuffed to ringside, which technically makes things way worse for Austin. Handcuff them in the back, or handcuff them to each other in the back of a van in the parking lot or something. Don’t handcuff four dudes to four corners of where you’re supposed to be wrestling so you get attacked 2-on-1 every time you venture two feet from the center of the ring.
The match is a fun brawl, but Pillman’s clearly not where he wants to be physically and can’t really hang anymore. Austin more than makes up for it, though, because Owen hasn’t broken his neck yet and he’s still stuck somewhere between popular brawler and technical wizard. The match ends when Austin stuns a referee, Owen digs a handcuffs key out of the dead ref’s pocket and breaks free to cause a disqualification. That causes another 4-on-1 beatdown until Goldust, Ken Shamrock and the Legion of Doom run down to even the score and run them off.
Austin and Shamrock decide to be uneasy allies, for now, and we’re officially set for the 10-man tag that will blow the roof off the Saddledome and five other nearby buildings at Canadian Stampede.
Best: We Are The (Actual) Nation, Of (Actual) Domination
This week’s main event is Ahmed Johnson and The Undertaker versus Faarooq and a mystery partner, with the promise that Faarooq is planning to debut not one, but two new members of the Nation. The first is revealed via surprise attack during the ring introductions as Kama Mustafa: supreme fighting machine, former multiple-character rival of the Undertaker and future Hall of Famer The Godfather. Longtime fans may remember when Kama stole the Undertaker’s urn and melted it down to make a gold chain. Taker always had a soft spot for Charles Wright, and loses to him here, CLEANLY, after a Rock Bottom.
Speaking of Rock Bottoms, I think the idea was that you’d assume Rocky Maivia was the second new member of the Nation of Domination. Faarooq had shown mercy to Rocky in previous weeks and had even ordered Savio Vega and Crush to stop beating him up. And yeah, Rocky would eventually find his way onto the squad, but tonight’s Raw features a Very Special Swerve:
If you can’t beat them, join them, or as Ahmed Johnson might say, “cain bettamajusJOHNem.” Ahmed fends off a post-match attack from the Nation only to Pearl River Plunge Taker himself and join the team he’s spent the past year-plus trying to destroy. I guess Faarooq’s comments about why there’s never been a black World Wrestling Federation champion finally got to him.
And you know what? This could’ve been really great if Ahmed could wrestle more than a few weeks at a time without the dam that is his heart bursting and his limbs falling off. Ahmed ends up injured, again, before Canadian Stampede and has to be replaced on the card. Then he’s out for another year, and when he returns, the Nation turns on him. Because of course they do. BECAUSE OF COURSE THEY DO.
Meanwhile, Rocky Johnson’s kid is in the back watching on the monitor thinking, “I could probably come up with something better. I should start working on my catchphrases.”
