Hey, Blue Team.
This week’s column is not going to be your typical Best and Worst of SmackDown, because this was not your typical SmackDown. I’m not entirely sure what I just watched. I’m not sure what I was expecting from the WWE Draft, but it certainly wasn’t this. They crammed a lot of content into these two hours, but none of it was particularly interesting.
At times it felt so rushed and jam packed that it felt like Raw and SmackDown were happening simultaneously. Other times it felt more like a parade. Like one of those parades at a Disney theme park where it’s just the characters briefly passing by and waving. Yet at times it just felt like a typical SmackDown, with the SmackDown tropes you know and love. Like the Intercontinental Champion being pinned by his pay-per-view challenger, a match between one member from each team participating in Sunday’s tag match, and a main event that was just a repeat of Raw’s main event. On a night where everything changed, it definitely felt like nothing changed at all.
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And now without further ado, here is The Best and Worst of SmackDown Live for July 19, 2016.
Worst: Ghosts of Christmas Past
SmackDown Live opens with your authority figures from both brands coming out to their podiums to make their first-round draft picks. Your new SmackDown and Raw General Manager/Commissioner/Whatevers are Daniel Bryan and Mick Foley respectively. They’re quite possibly my two favorite wrestlers of all time. WWE is now making me pay for the years I enjoyed watching them wrestle by forcing me to watch them slowly die on national television. The draft makes perfect sense once you realize the rosters were picked by two men with severe brain damage.
It’s great to see Daniel Bryan get such an amazing reaction from the audience. His tenure running SmackDown already feels like a victory lap. But at the same time, it’s going to be very frustrating to see Daniel Bryan on WWE television without him wrestling. I was happy with the idea of Daniel Bryan returning to the woods, never to be seen again by man. It still hurts too much. The wound is still too fresh. At this point, seeing him is just a constant reminder of the matches he’ll never have. It’s a hard pill to swallow.
The WWE kicks off a night of no surprises with the most obvious first round draft picks. Rollins goes number one to Raw, followed by Ambrose to SmackDown, then Charlotte to Raw, AJ Styles to SmackDown, and Finn Balor to Raw. They made the announcements with quick video packages for each performer. And then out comes John Cena.
Worst: Love That Chicken From Popeyes
The first match of the evening is John Cena vs. Luke Gallows and it’s so important that a commercial break can’t even stop it. One of the only new and interesting things to happen on the show was an odd little piece of business where SmackDown goes to its first commercial break, but the Cena/Gallows match continues to play silently in a box in the corner. Is this going to happen every week on SmackDown? Is this a Daniel Bryan/Shane McMahon innovation? Do they think I need to know which rest hold Luke Gallows puts John Cena in so badly that I’ll sit through a couple of Popeye’s commercials? It was yet another weird thing on a very weird show.
After the sort-of commercial break, Cena makes quick work of Gallows, and that’s it for The Club on SmackDown, because later on tonight in one of the more bizarre draft decisions, we’d find out that Gallows and Anderson are headed to RAW while AJ stays on SmackDown.
This is so confusing. These three guys have been doing fantastic work together lately. Before cementing their relationship with AJ, Gallows and Anderson felt a little lost. And heel AJ works especially well when he has Gallows and Anderson to back him up. Maybe we’re finally seeing the birth of The Balor Club on Raw? That’s cool, I guess. But the chemistry AJ Styles has with Gallows and Anderson is really fun, and it felt like they were just getting started. The draft giveth and the draft taketh away.
After the match, they cut to a commercial break that doesn’t have additional content in the corner, so I get to watch my Geico commercials in peace.
Best: Bye Bye The Guy
Speaking of John Cena, it’s revealed in the next round of draft picks that Cena is headed for SmackDown, along with Randy Orton, while Brock Lesnar goes to Raw for one match a year. Raw also picks the WWE Tag Team champions, The New Day. As the night progresses, we find out that almost every tag team is going to Raw. Almost. But we’ll get to that later.
But the most important piece of information to come out of this segment is that Roman Reigns is going to Raw. Thank you, Stephanie and Mick. I was running out of ways to write about how much Roman Reigns sucks. He’s Brandon’s problem now.
Best: Ain’t No Thing But A Crossface Chickenwing
Next up is a tag match featuring Darren Young and Zack Ryder vs. Intercontinental Champion, The Miz and U.S. Champion, Rusev in a match brought to you by Toyota. It’s yet another in a long line of Battleground preview matches where a guy who’s not champ pins the champ, and Michael Cole reminds us that if this happens on Sunday…
There wasn’t much to the match, but it did act as a nice showcase for the new and improved Darren Young and builds toward a fantastic reveal. Bob Backlund has taught Darren young the Crossface Chickenwing, and shockingly the WWE Universe seems to appreciate the importance of this. The crowd goes nuts when Darren Young slaps it on The Miz. Darren Young’s looking better every week and the return of the Crossface Chickenwing is the cherry on top.
Best: Not Out Of The Woods Yet
Battleground Lite continues with a one-on-one match between Bray Wyatt and Xavier Woods. Tonight it’s revealed that the Wyatt Family/New Day feud is exactly what I assumed it to be: two teams that were thrown into a feud together because they were going to different brands. New Day’s going to Raw, while Bray Wyatt and Erick Rowan are going to SmackDown.
I could take or leave last week’s battle at the Wyatt compound, but I’ve enjoyed the way Xavier has reacted to Bray Wyatt during this feud. He’s cautious of Bray, a little scared, a little intrigued, and possibly becoming a little mind-controlled. They really play that up in this match. Woods does an excellent job showing how Wyatt’s mind games have affected him, while still bringing the fight to Bray. In the end, they even cost him the match. Bray hits Sister Abigail out of nowhere for the win, and if that happens on Sunday …
Actually, come to think of it, are the tag titles even on the line on Sunday? Is it just a six man tag match? I’m not really sure. Oh god, am I going to have to go to WWE.com to find that out? Well, I’m certainly not doing that so I guess you guys will just have to figure that one out on your own.
Whether it’s a title match or not, one thing is certain: Sunday’s match marks the end of the Black Sheep of the Wyatt Family, as later tonight Braun Strowman is drafted to RAW, separating him from his Wyatt brethren. Which is probably a good move. I didn’t mind Braun Strowman as a Wyatt, but at the same time he didn’t add anything. I’m ready for Luke Harper to return and the OG Wyatt Family to be full once again. Good luck out there, Braun Strowman. You’re gonna need it.
Best: A Rift In The Space-Time Continuum
Kevin Owens vs. Kane is the next scheduled match-up, but unfortunately it never happens. While Owens is on his way to the ring, Sami Zayn’s music hits and he runs down and attacks Owens. The two men end up in the ring, where Owens superkicks Zayn and then throws him into Kane. Kane’s preparing to choke slam Sami Zayn, when he decides to grab Kevin Owens by the throat and choke slam both of them at the same time. Fire shoots out of the ring posts and that’s the end of that.
I’m honestly disappointed that Kane vs. Kevin Owens didn’t take place. I bet you those guys could have a really good match together. I also love seeing Kevin Owens wrestle anyone from the Attitude Era. I have a bizarre fascination with it. It’s one of those weird modern WWE things that feels like it shouldn’t be happening. Demon Kane vs. Kevin Steen? It’s one of those matches I never thought I’d see, and now I guess I never will.
At the same time, I’m giving this segment a best because I bet you a double choke slam from Kane is a dream come true for Owens and Zane. So I’m happy they got to experience that WWE rite of passage before Kane takes his rightful place as Libertarian governor of Tennessee.
Worst: Drawing Straws
Raw’s first draft pick for this round is Sami Zayn, which leads to another bizarre draft decision, as later tonight Raw would also choose Kevin Owens. Why are these guys ending up on the same brand? Why are we having a big end-of-feud blow off match at Battleground if they’re just going to continue circling around each other? I thought the draft would be an excellent way of pulling Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn back apart so they could once again long to get their hands on each other, building toward the feud picking up a couple years down the line. But that would be thinking in the long-term, and WWE seemingly stopped doing that around 1992.
This round of the draft also sees Sasha Banks going to Raw, Becky Lynch going to SmackDown, and Chris Jericho going to Raw. I think this is the segment where I really started to wonder if there was rhyme or reason to the draft at all. There doesn’t seem to be any logic behind it. They could have just written each Superstar’s name on a piece of paper and pulled them out of a hat. I’m getting that sinking feeling that even though we’re going to have separate rosters, Raw and SmackDown are not going to be improving. I could be wrong, but I don’t think I’m going to turn on my TV on Tuesday and see and all new SmackDown.
Worst: A Bad GoodBye
I enjoyed the handicap match of Sasha Banks vs. Charlotte and Dana Brooke, even though it was short and pointless. I guess they were trying to get the point across that Sasha can’t beat these two on her own, and it’s at least something different from just having another Sasha Banks/Dana Brooke match. But this feels like a real missed opportunity to give us a pre-brand split match that we’re not going to get to see again for a while.
It would have been nice to follow up their drafting to different brands with a farewell Sasha Banks/Becky Lynch match, or one last Becky Lynch/Charlotte blowout. I think that’s my biggest complaint about tonight’s show. The matches had nothing to do with the brand split. They were just your typical Battleground “go home” matches. Maybe it would have made more sense to do the draft the Tuesday after Battleground.
Worst: Why Is Any Of This Happening?
Hands down my favorite moment from the draft was Daniel Bryan begrudgingly choosing The Miz and Maryse in order to get the IC Title on SmackDown. It was perfect and legitimately made me laugh. Other than that, I’m pretty over the draft by this point. I keep holding out that there’s going to be some sort of big surprise, but it never comes. Little surprises never come either. For me the only true surprise in the draft was Mojo Rawley, and I’m not too hyped about that. Rusev and the US Title go to Raw, along with Enzo and Cass, and Baron Corbin goes the SmackDown. All this happens for “reasons” I guess.
Part of the problem with tonight’s show is you’re not seeing any of the drama of people finding out what brand they’re ending up on. The Commissioners and GMs are just saying people’s names and video packages are rolling. Outside of Daniel Bryan’s reaction to The Miz, there’s not much emotion behind it.
A lot of this has to do with the fact that while SmackDown Live is “live,” at the same time, the WWE Network is airing a live draft special. That’s right. The WWE is competing with itself. Everything fun that happened during the draft happened on that show, including some great moments of NXT stars finding out they were drafted and a really fun tag at the end of the night where it’s revealed that Heath Slater wasn’t drafted to either brand.
This is insane. I now have to watch two WWE shows at the same time, just so I feel like I’ve watched one complete show? What is going on here?
Best: Sometimes Wrestling Happens
This solid Chris Jericho/Cesaro match was exactly what I needed at this point in the evening. It’s the first thing tonight that feels like an actual wrestling match rather and not a promotional piece from Battleground or a scene from Lethal Lottery. These two continue to work well together, putting on solid matches whenever they’re paired up. Jericho gets the win to help build toward interviewing Randy Orton at Battleground.
Best: No Phantom Matches
When SmackDown returns from commercial break, Becky Lynch and Natalya are brawling outside the ring as officials try to pull them apart. It’s essentially the same segment from last week. I’m giving this a big best though because WWE did something that they rarely do. They acknowledged what match was scheduled to happen before the brawl broke out. It’s a little thing, but I love it. It makes it seem like there was actually a scheduled match that got interrupted. It takes so little to make me happy.
Why can’t WWE do this more often? I don’t even know if Alicia Fox was out there and I don’t really care. Just the acknowledgement from Maura Ranallo that a match was scheduled to take place warms my heart.
Best: The Right NXT Call-Ups
Not to blow my own Francesca here, but I went 5 for 6 on who would be called up from NXT in the draft (damn you Mojo Rawley). I mean, it didn’t take a rocket scientist to deduct who was coming up after the last round of NXT tapings. Still, a lot of people seemed to hold out hope that they would see Bayley, Nakamura, or even Samoa Joe tonight. A lot of that’s just wishful thinking. These NXT draft picks all make sense. SmackDown especially is in desperate need of women and tag teams. Carmella, Nia Jax, and Alexa Bliss will all have roles to fill, and after Ryder gets crushed by Rusev on Sunday, maybe The Hype Bros can get hyped together on SmackDown.
It’s during this draft segment that SmackDown picks American Alpha, Jason Jordan and Chad Gable. After spending the past two years begging WWE to put Finn Balor on the main roster, I found myself being happier for Gable and Jordan. At this point, Balor coming to the main roster feels like, “No s***, why did this take so long?” But Gable and Jordan making it to the roster feels like a real triumph. The timing of it is pretty perfect.
With that being said, there’s also now a part of me that feels like I’d be happier with them staying in NXT wrestling The Revival and Ciampa & Gargano than coming to SmackDown where the tag team roster is … interesting. Get ready to watch Gable and Jordan toss around Breezango for the next three months, building toward a big feud with The Ascension (I’m assuming). It looks like my fears have come true; the tag-team division is officially split. There no longer endless possibilities, just endless amounts of matches between The Usos and The Vaudevillains.
Hey Look, They’re Still Doing This Thing!
The 2016 WWE Draft limps to an end with no surprises. I don’t know why I assumed the best. The WWE writers haven’t done anything surprising in years that wasn’t forced on them by drug test results. But for some reason, I gave them the benefit of the doubt and assumed that at least one or two interesting and surprising things would happen during the draft. I guess I now know what happens when you assume.
Best: Oh, There’s The Emotion
The main event for the first SmackDown Live is Dean Ambrose vs. Seth Rollins for the WWE Championship. They put on a pretty great match with the time given. Both men did an excellent job making the match feel important and selling the fact that this is their second World Title match in two days. Both men had a certain urgency to get the match over with and to win.
The ending builds on that when Ambrose hits Dirty Deeds on Rollins kind of unexpectedly. Their raw emotions led to me enjoy this match way more than their Raw match, and I like that Dean got a clean win over Rollins with no shenanigans. I fear things won’t be that simple come Sunday. A triple-threat match for the WWE Title at a pay-per-view immediately following a brand split? That has shenanigans written all over it.
Well, that’s it for the inaugural SmackDown Live on Tuesday. Next week we’ll get a look at what a regular SmackDown Live is all about. I’m guessing it’s probably going to be pretty similar to the SmackDown that was on Thursdays.
Until then, I’m Justin Donaldson and I wanna get drafted to Prime Time Wrestling.
