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– You can find out about the movie I made here and here. Post-production, baby! Also, follow that wrestling promotion I work for/am increasingly involved in helping run here. Our next show is in Austin on Sunday. It’s got Chris Hero, Takaaki Watanabe, a wrestling librarian and a big dude with a burlap sack for a head on it. You should be there.
Please click through to enjoy the Best and Worst of WWE Raw for December 30, 2013.
Best: Spoiler Alert, Roman Reigns Is The Best One
First of all, perfect sign choice and timing.
Second of all, three aspects of the ongoing Shield breakup please me.
1. The idea that Dean Ambrose is the one messing everything up, because he’s always been the “leader,” or at least the guy we thought should be speaking for everyone
2. It’s giving the individual Shield guys personalities
3. CM Punk’s the one doing it, because he figured out that it’s easier to break something up if you get inside of it and break it apart from the inside. More on that later.
But yeah, Raw started with 15-ish minutes of CM Punk wrestling Seth Rollins as part of Seth’s PROVE YOU’RE GOOD ENOUGH TO CARRY OUR MAIN-EVENTERS tour, and it was lovely. It had some of the basic problems I see in a lot of Punk matches — his offense looks like garbage because he’s sloppy and doesn’t really put any force behind anything, so it’s up to the guy he’s wrestling to sink or swim selling it … think Samoa Joe without any weight behind it — but it was a good match, and I’m never going to Worst that. It was the third best match on the show, and when I can say that about Punk/Rollins, that’s a pretty good show.
And don’t get me wrong, I still don’t WANT the Shield breaking up, but I’m enjoying how it’s happening. Did you hear those “Ro-man Reigns” chants? It’s so easy to chant. Ambrose has become this straight-up shifty, sketchy creep who talks a big game and loses it when he’s got to back it up by himself, Seth Rollins has turned into this strangely confident guy who can almost take care of business by himself, and Roman’s clearly this Warrior God who just hasn’t yet figured out he can break from the pack and spear things for his individual benefit. If The Shield doesn’t last through WrestleMania (and frankly, this all feels like it’s setting up Ambrose to eliminate Rollins or Reigns in the Rumble and set everything in motion), I hope they’re linked together in some way forever.
I also wish Roman had interrupted Punk’s WHICH ONE A YOUSE IS THE BESS speech by shouldering him to death in the chest and screaming SUMMER OF PUNK PUNK WOULD’VE HATED YOU.
Worst: Randy Orton vs. John Cena In A REGULAR Match!!! (!!)
Half of the roster was off in Toronto sportly-entertaining our Canadian friends, so Raw devoted an entire on-stage promo to Stephanie McMahon announcing the 750,000th Randy Orton vs. John Cena championship match for Royal Rumble and trying desperately to get the stipulation of “no stipulation” over. It was so sad. A TRADITIONAL, ONE-ON-ONE CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH. PINFALLS OR SUBMISSIONS ONLY. NOT A CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH FOR PANTYWASTES AND SISSIES. FOR PANTYWASTES AND SISSIES. THE MOST REGULAR MATCH EVER.
I miss that old Rumble tradition of giving guys who don’t deserve title shots title shots because the Rumble match sells the pay-per-view and nobody cares about the non-Rumble parts. Remember when Hardcore Holly got a WWE Championship match? On PAY-PER-VIEW? Remember when Daivari was managing a pre-great Mark Henry to challenge for the World Heavyweight Championship? F*cking Umaga got a Last Man Standing match for the WWE Championship on a Rumble card. It was the best. Can’t we let Cena heal up his weird dog body or film 12 Rounds 3: 36 Rounds or whatever and hotshot a Randy Orton/Sin Cara program? Maybe Orton vs. Ezekiel Jackson*?
*Yes, he’s still employed.
Worst: We Have Too Much Time Between TLC And The Royal Rumble, So Here’s Some House Show Stuff, Enjoy
A Raw without Cena, Orton, Big Show and the like was a lot of fun at times, but it also gave us matches like Dolph Ziggler vs. Curtis Axel, which might as well have been two 5-year olds learning how to doggypaddle in the shallow end of the YMCA pool.
The match was fine, but it was the most fine thing ever. Absolutely purposeless. Later in the column when the shit hits the fan I’ll write a lot about what it means to be “buried” or “in the mid-card,” and I think the only objective definition of that is what you’re seeing here. Guys without purpose or direction. That’s the worst. When you’re Zack Ryder or JTG or whatever you can sit your ass at home and play video games and collect a paycheck, and when they remember you’re employed and fire you you can go wrestle wherever with some sparkly WWE-made trunks and charge way too much because people remember you from TV. When you’re a guy like Ziggler, though, this has got to be purgatory. The illusion of purpose. Just arbitrarily winning and losing throwaway matches, doing the same taunts you did three years ago in your t-shirt from April, because they haven’t given a shit about you since then. On Smackdown you’ll probably wrestle this exact same match but lose it, and then on Raw you’ll have a rematch you’ll win, and then on Smackdown you’ll have a rematch you lose. Horror.
THAT is the mid-card. Dolph Ziggler would probably kill a guy to be losing a bunch of championship matches to Randy Orton and getting an hour devoted to him and his angles on every show.
Best: Big E Langston, Our First Good IC Champ In Years
Big E vs. Fandango for the Intercontinental Championship was the opposite of Ziggler vs. Axel. This was GREAT, and if Daniel Bryan hadn’t wandered into a gauntlet match with the Wyatt Family that ended with one of the most legitimately shocking storyline turns of the year I might call it the best match on the show. Hell, I still might.
This is what Big E Langston needs. He’s a guy catching on with the fans, and WWE is smart to not do what they do with everyone ELSE who wins a secondary title (jobbing him out relentlessly to build to PPV title matches). He’s facing credible-looking opponents who are at his level or slightly below, having good-to-great little matches with them and WINNING. That’s what he did here. Fandango looked like a million bucks and gave Langston a fight, but Langston triumphed (clean, without any bullshit) because he’s strong and tough and good at wrestling. This is what I was begging for every time Fandango took a count-out loss on purpose. Let him look like a pro wrestler, win or lose, and we’ll probably want to pay you money to see him wrestle. This is your only job, honestly, and for once, you did it well.
Worst: Booker T, Host At T.G.I. McScratchy’s Goodtime Fooddrinkery
So, about all that stuff I talked about Dolph Ziggler being in mid-card purgatory … I forgot that it could be a lot worse. Dolph could be a person of color or a woman (or Alex Riley) and stuck in these “we love to have fun” segments where you have to pretend like you’re at a New Year’s party even though it’s December f*cking 30th so the people can clap their hands and laugh while you breakdance. OH WAIT HE TOTALLY IS.
Think I’m being too preachy? Think about last week’s Christmas carol competition. How many people in the ring were white men? One. Drew McIntyre. Two if you count Santino, but they’re both from another country, so I guess it’s people of color, women or non-Americans. How many domestic white males were involved in this week’s Stage Goofs? Two. Dolph Ziggler and Alex Riley. I don’t think you ever want your name to start a sentence that ends with “and Alex Riley.”
Furthermore, I think —
Best: Bad News Barrett Has A Giant Motorized Lectern
I’M AFRAID I HAVE SOME BAD NEWS is the new hotness. This Raw could’ve been two hours and 55 minutes of condescending “how to download the app” videos and Smackdown recaps and I’d call it the best Raw of the year based solely on Wade Barrett suddenly being so into delivering “bad news” that he affixed his hashtaggable lectern to a scissor-lift, draped a big black tarp over it and assumedly DROVE IT TO RAW AND DROVE AROUND BACKSTAGE WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO MENTION NEW YEAR’S EVE SO HE COULD INTERRUPT.
I don’t even know, you guys. I love this so much. His method of delivering bad news should get more and more complex until he’s piloting a giant mech with BAD NEWS BARRETT across the chest. He can interrupt jokey segments from an orbiting Bad News Barrett space station or something. Make him a thousand feet tall. Give him a Galactus helmet. GO ALL THE WAY.
Worst, Though: WWE Heels Are Always Right
In the latest NXT season 1 Best and Worst I mentioned how interesting it would’ve been for WWE to acknowledge Darren Young’s sexuality during his debut and leverage it for babyface heat against a homophobic pro. Sorta portray the idea that Young’s sexuality has nothing to do with his performance in the ring, and script the established, popular heel to be totally incorrect in his attitudes and motivations and be booed for it. Like you already might’ve started saying out-loud while reading this paragraph, yes, WWE Audiences are probably not ready for that, which is why the good guys are the only ones who are ever homophobic.
The flip side of that is that WWE heels are far too often decent, level-headed folks who want to affect change. CM Punk got booed for thinking drugs and alcohol ruined the lives of people like Jeff Hardy, which was (and is) totally correct. Damien Sandow and Cody Rhodes got booed and called gay for being best friends. On last night’s Raw, Barrett’s bad news wasn’t “I TOOK YOUR MONEY” or “YOU’RE HILLBILLIES” like before, it was suddenly “we’re destroying ourselves and our planet and we worship these weird milestone holidays to give ourselves excuses to continue being mediocre.” He was right, which … I mean, I don’t know, heels should never BE, you know? They should THINK they’re right, but why should be hate and boo someone for actually BEING right?
The hook is usually that they’re being a jerk about it and we’re booing them for how they deliver the message instead of the message itself, but damn, I’d feel a lot more comfortable if Wade’s message was still I’M GONNA RUN OVER ALL YOUR CHAMPAGNE AND CD COPIES OF AULD LANG SYNE IN MY DOOMSDAY BAD-NEWS-MOBILE AND RUIN YOUR NEW YEAR instead of “be decent to yourselves and others.”
Best: This Is How Much We Like You, Miz And Kofi
This is what is known as a “wake-up call.”
Well, for one of them, at least.
Best: The Acknowledgment Of Failure
When Damien Sandow pinned The Great Khali, Khali’s shoulder was up by like a foot. This is not really Sandow’s fault, because Khali’s body is not made to roll and bend and every roll-up is a “wrestling a hunchback” situation.
What I appreciated, though, is that later in the show they had Brad Maddox say a quick line about how he’d talked to the referee about the shoulder being up and the situation was being handled. Boom. That’s it. That’s all you need to do. Acknowledge that something went wrong and don’t pretend like everything was fine and dandy in your perfect bubble world. Refs blow calls all the time. It doesn’t (and shouldn’t) only happen in big important pay-per-view ending screwjobs. Sometime dude just wants to end this f*cking Great Khali match.
Worst: How Many Times Are We Gonna Do This Same Brodus Clay Turn
Mid-card purgatory. WWE Creative writes an idea for you on their dry erase board (say, “Brodus Clay gets frustrated, turns on Tensai and the Funkadactyls” or “black people dancin'” or, you know, both). You do it. It works. Then they forget about you, but they need you to help pad out the 30 minutes of important stuff on a 3-hour show so you just go out and do the same thing again. And again. And again.
How many times have we seen Brodus Clay and R-Truth wrestle to get over the BRODUS LET XAVIER WOODS USE HIS MUSIC AND THEN GOT MAD THAT HE DID THAT AND NOW HE’S SORE talking point? They’ve been making it for a month. We get it. He let Xavier Woods use his music and then got mad that he did that and now he’s sore. He turned on Tensai three times, didn’t he? And now he’s losing matches based on EVERYTHING ELSE ON THE WHITE BOARD, such as “black people only wrestle each other,” “babyface does heel thing to get ill-defined revenge every week for two months,” “distraction leading to loss,” and so on. If Brodus and R-Truth end up in a Divas battle royal to become #1 contender to the Divas Championship they’ll have tied together the entire board.
Best: Paul Heyman Validates The Brock Lesnar Return
1. I could listen to Paul Heyman say “Brock Lesnar” on loop for three hours. Just keep saying it, I don’t care. BRRRRRROCK, LESNARRR.
2. I’m a big fan of whoever put this week’s show together. Maybe the guy who says F*CK CONTINUITY, DO IT ANYWAY was at the Toronto show. I mentioned Brad Maddox bringing up the botched three-count as a way to cover plothole asses, and now here’s Triple H announcing that he’s bringing the dude who broke his arm twice back because it’s Best For Business (as a way to protect himself from “WWE World Heavyweight Champion John Cena,” I’d imagine) and Paul Heyman touching all the important bases to keep me from getting bent out of shape about WWE storytelling.
Brock’s not here to settle old scores. That separates him further from Triple H, keeps you from being all WHAT’S BROCK GONNA DO ABOUT CM PUNK and lets you focus Brock directly on his announced mission statement. Heyman definitively adds that Brock isn’t here to settle any of Paul’s old scores, either, which helps us know that Heyman learned his lesson on that last cane-whooping from Punk. Brock and Heyman are here and moving forward and doing something new, so we don’t have to get caught up in the past tangles. All you have to do is say it out-loud. Thank you for that.
Best: Brock Lesnar Talking
Speaking of saying things out-loud, I want to reiterate how much I love Brock Lesnar talking.
A lot of you sent me, “man, I wish they wouldn’t let Brock talk” tweets and messages to commiserate, but I don’t agree. If anything, they should let Brock talk more. He is a SHOOT BULLY. Bullies are not these loud, showboat entertainer types like The Rock who have something quippy and funny to say to everything. They aren’t all Bray Wyatt types, clutching at their hair and going through mood swings to reenact their favorite Jake Roberts and Mick Foley promos. They’re just big, stupid assholes who don’t know what they’re saying and sound threatening anyway because they are big as f*ck and can kill you for real. That’s Brock. Pro wrestling needs more guys like that.
This is where Brock’s UFC experience works well, I think. How do real fighters speak? You’ve got Chael Sonnen, but there’s only one of him. He’s got a bunch of prepared material to get himself over. Most guys are just like “uhhhh yeah I wanted to punch him in the face and he’s a f*cking pussy and I’m gonna break his arm.” They are REAL. Crude, real, flawed. The kind of person you kinda have to be to be “tough” in today’s world. WWE’s so into the idea of poet warriors they (and the fans) forget that the WARRIOR part brings with it all the mumbling and weird yelling and vague threats of a warrior.
Long story short, if a guy comes up to me and says WHAT IN THE BLUE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING, I’M GONNA TURN THIS SUMBITCH SIDEWAYS, SHINE IT UP REAL NICE AND STICK IT STRAIGHT UP, YOUR CANDY ASS I’m going to make a dismissive wanking motion at him with every part of my body. If he shows up and seems confused but hates me and his face is all red and he’s ALIEN YELLING I’m going to piss my pants and bolt.
BEST: Somebody Gon’ Get They Wig Run Through A Barricade And F-5’d On The Floor
Seriously, Brock’s yelling is MY FAVORITE. REEEAOOHHHHH~!!! It’s like a dying beast. Inhuman. In terms of recent Paul Heyman Guys it’s certainly a step up from “youse” and “verse” and “shaa.”
I made the mistake of reading Smackdown spoilers and had the Lesnar/Henry confrontation spoiled for me, but it was still the best possible pro wrestling television. Brock Lesnar challenges anybody because he’s Scut Farkus on venom in real life and gets answered by the STRONGEST MAN IN THE ENTIRE WORLD, Mark Henry. Because he’s ultimately a coward (because all bullies are ultimately cowards), Lesnar takes a cheap shot and gains an advantage … that leads to a fight on the outside and Brock just running a 400-pound man through a security barricade and getting up all REEAAOOHHHHHHHH and holy shit do I wish Brock Lesnar was on every episode of this show.
That doesn’t even touch the F-5 on the floor, which Henry sold like a giant-ass fish hitting the ground. I loved it all. Now let’s let Brock murder folks instead of having contract signings and eating pedigrees, shall we?
Best/Worst: The Genesis Of Aksanacutty
This week’s Divas tag was pretty crummy, but it felt like I was watching the f*cking SENDAI Girls after last week’s “hold hands and run in a circle” spot. It was an attempt at a wrestling match at least, so I can’t insult them too much. But yo, can we have ONE 5-on-5 Divas match that proceeds normally according to the rules, and doesn’t involve everybody “losing control” 40 seconds in? The Divas are not uncontrollable rage monsters. They can be made to stand on the apron and accept tags like normal people.
Congratulations to Aksana, by the way, who wins what I’m assuming is her first match since joining WWE five goddamn years ago. Her porno sax is the world’s most hilarious victory music, and with Old School Raw happening next week it took me back to those halcyon days when Silk Stalkings was on after wrestling. Hey Mitzi Kapture, if you’re reading this (and I assume you are), hit me up.
Best: The NXT/Chikara Theory Continues
My favorite ongoing crackpot theory is that the WWE Universe is connected to independent wrestling promotion Chikara by WWE developmental territory NXT. It started as a paragraph in an old Best and Worst report and steamrolled into something I had to devote almost an entire podcast to. The crux of the argument is that Bray Wyatt is a bayou-dwelling demon that exists at the nexus of all realities (the “new nexus” of all realities, if you will) and binds the realities together. This is why Brodie Lee and Luke Harper are the exact same person, why Wyatt promos are littered with Chikara references and why guys who’ve BEEN in Chikara — like CM Punk and Daniel Bryan — are drawn to him.
Anyway, I’d let the theory lie dormant for a while, and then Bray Wyatt ambushes Daniel Bryan backstage on Smackdown and sings, “ashes, ashes, we all fall down.” If you weren’t aware, Chikara’s currently experiencing a rebirth through a series of video vignettes called “Ashes.”
Just saying. One day Byron Saxton’s gonna show up in a Chikara Ashes video and you’re all gonna call me a prophet.
Best: Keeping This All In Perspective
If you missed the show, Daniel Bryan asked for a match against Bray Wyatt. To punish him, because punishing him is all they do, Brad Maddox put him in a gauntlet match against the entire Wyatt Family. If Bryan could defeat Luke Harper and Erick Rowan, he’d get a shot at Bray. Bryan fights harder than anybody, so he accepted it. He fought valiantly, too. This isn’t the first time he’s been put in a gauntlet match and triumphed. He pinned Luke Harper with a running knee. He inside cradled Erick Rowan and got the three. After that, Rowan continued the attack, but Harper rushed into the ring and … stopped him. It was weird, but not as weird as what was about to happen.
Bray Wyatt acted like he was going to attack, but didn’t. He turned his back and held his arms open for Bryan. THAT’s when the Wyatt Family attacked, drawing a disqualification, or getting the match thrown out, or whatever. It barely made sense. Bryan was battered beyond belief and beaten to the breaking point of sanity when Bray started in with his speech about togetherness and the lack of mercy … and Bryan agreed with him. Bray forced Bryan to crawl, basically bow before him and pledge his allegiance. He hit him with Sister Abigail, which Bryan blissfully accepted. They carried Bryan out, and when he was able to walk, they let him make his own decision. He turned to listen to the cheers of the crowd, and for a second you could see that indignant rage start to build up and break him free of the spell … but ultimately it was realism and true defeat that made him lower his head, shake it, and leave with the Wyatts.
So here’s where we stand: Daniel Bryan has not given up on the fans. He loves them and appreciates them, but he knows that what they do and say doesn’t matter. They can cheer him all the want, management is still going to keep him down. It’s what they do. It’s what the Summer Of Punk was about. Raging against the dying of the light. Fighting an unwinnable fight.
Moreover, this was SOMETHING HAPPENING ON RAW. A storyline progression point. A decision being made. Compelling television. Something to get us talking. WWE audiences are so conditioned to accept the world of John Cena and Nothing Ever Changing that anything beyond the status quo feels like failure. Like regression.
I’m not sure if I can “convince” you to like this if you didn’t, but I’ll do my best to explain why I did, and hopefully you’ll understand.
You might be saying: Daniel Bryan is going back to the mid-card/is being removed from the title picture/is being buried. It’s hard to differentiate being a “smart” fan from being an actual one when it comes to our favorites winning or losing — trust me, I’m the worst about it, I don’t even know where I’m coming from anymore — but remind yourself: wrestling is not real. If you’re upset about wins and losses, you have to be so from a fan perspective, because from an objective one, wins and losses are meaningless. Absolutely meaningless.
The definition of on-screen WWE failure, to me at least, is continued apathy and mediocrity. There are levels to this, of course. You’ve got guys like Kassius Ohno who got buried (for real) by the people in charge of making their careers happen, got embarrassed a few times and got fired. That’s “burial.” If the performer you care about is actually getting buried by the company he or she works for, it’s not gonna happen on television. Burial is the removal FROM television. If it happens on the show, it’s a work, because wrestling is a television show and not real sports. Then you’ve got guys like Ziggler or Zack Ryder. Guys who sorta “caught” and started selling merch and looking like they were going to be an important part of the show only to get shuffled back down into oblivion where you’re actually surprised if they ever show up or win anything. They have their jobs, so they aren’t being “buried,” but they’re being creatively ignored. That’s almost worse. Whether they deserve it or not is beside the point.
I cannot stress this enough, and if you never believe another sentence I type, believe this one: Wins and losses aside, a guy who just won three matches in the main event slot of WWE’s flagship television program and had about an hour of live programming dedicated to his angle is not being buried. He’s not “in the mid-card.” I’m aware that I’ve done some STOP REMOVING HIM FROM MAIN EVENTS complaining, but I was dumb and wrong. John Cena is the only person in WWE who isn’t “mid-card.” It’s John Cena and then everybody else. Bryan is important to the show, incredibly popular, moving a bunch of merchandise, having great wrestling matches on pay and free TV and has a creative team actively writing stories for him, whether they go anywhere or end well or not. That is the only objective definition of non-John Cena success in pro wrestling. “Mid-card” isn’t real. What the f*ck do you want?
You might be saying: This isn’t going to go anywhere. It’s going to end with John Cena “saving” Bryan or Triple H being involved and dragging Bryan down further. You’re probably right on this one. My cold wrestling heart doesn’t see Bryan triumphing on his own, or doing that cool thing I want him to do where Kane’s his “inside man” and they realize the Wyatts want to bring down the machine as much as they do to usurp Triple H from power and bring true, community-run anarchy to WWE. It’s probably going to be Cena vs. Wyatt in a Daniel Bryan on a Pole match. I feel your pain. I really do. But a few weeks ago I decided I was gonna try to enjoy these blissful little moments of success instead of obsessing about the awful place they’re gonna go, and dammit, I have to keep trying.
You might be saying: The Wyatt Family is boring and they’re bad wrestlers! I want Daniel Bryan wrestling good matches! You might be an idiot. Pay attention.
Best: CM Punk As A Counterpoint To Daniel Bryan
When CM Punk was raging against the machine, he claimed that he was the “voice of the voiceless,” a guy who was gonna say and do what the people wanted to say and wanted done to bring down John Cena, Vince McMahon and the oppressive hierarchy WWE had built for itself to keep people like him from succeeding. He did it, too. He won the WWE Championship, held it for ransom and had the entire wrestling world talking about him. It blew the doors off WWE. Then, because Punk’s goals are ultimately always just “make CM Punk succeed above all others,” he carefully glued the doors back into place, walked into the room and carefully shut them behind him.
Daniel Bryan’s trying desperately to break through those same doors. He’s fighting the same people Punk raged against. Trying to break the mold of what an acceptable Face Of The WWE looks like. Proving that talent and heart and dedication are all you need to succeed, not connections and good looks and timing. It’s interesting that while Bryan was trying so hard to grab the brass ring only for it to slip through his fingers that Punk was busy in his “own universe,” dealing with a betrayal in ONE MATCH for six months. When Punk came back to Earth, he stepped in alongside Bryan long enough to wrestle a few tag matches, but nothing ever came of it. He limply tried to save Bryan from the Wyatts once but got jumped by The Shield, so he’s still trying to fight them instead of doing ANYTHING to help the voiceless. He poses for goofy photo ops as John Cena’s little buddy, sorta like how he gleefully put on Triple H’s blazer only a few months after being consistently humiliated by him. In last night’s Backstage Fallout, Punk offers an explanation … that Bryan is “a man” and can “stand on his own two feet.” He’ll have to deal with it himself. Because Punk has better things to do.
Who’s the only person actually trying to help Bryan? Not the Big Show. Show only helped him out long enough to get his job back. It’s Cena. The same guy who fought valiantly for CM Punk’s right to be the true WWE Champion and eventually turned him into John Cena Tag Team Partner #2. Now Cena’s stepping in to cool Bryan’s fire, giving him “little buddy” status. Cena’s the one who’ll fight the Wyatts to save Bryan. He’s the one who’ll tag up and face insurmountable odds. Why? Because he’s nice?
No. Because he’s the Big Bad of WWE. He’s evil. He is the living, breathing Status Quo, and his job is to assimilate the nonconformists and make them just like him. He did it with Punk, and now he’ll do it with Bryan. Make them wear t-shirts and twirl them over their heads and love the Troops and go out there and entertain Each And Every One Of You. No individuality. No individual success. Success for the unit. For the team. Why do you think all the legends tell contenders they aren’t REALLY good unless they’ve beaten John Cena, and when they do, why it still isn’t good enough? Because “John Cena” is the only answer. He is the all-consuming monster at the end of this book.
Bray Wyatt might end up being the only thing to save Daniel Bryan. Think about it.
Best: Top 10 Comments Of The Night
Next season on TOTAL DIVAS: Bryan takes Brie to live in the swamp!
“Are you kidding merightnow???”
Only on E!
The fact that every part of that made sense, makes absolutely none of it make sense
I hope he goes back and gets the rocking chair.
If we don’t have IRS running into the Wyatt’s next week, Old School Raw is a failure this year.
And then we’re going to Elimination Chamber. to take back the WWE World Heavyweight Champion, Yeeeeeaaaaaargh!”
Brock Lesnar looks like Biff Tannen if he ODed on HGH or the nerve tonic Ken Griffey Jr. did.
I think A.J. Lee and Khali should form a mystically themed mixed tag team named “Light as a Feather, Stiff as a Board”
That podium is the only way Barrett can get elevated in the WWE
If that platform lowers while he just stares at them I will pay them money
Steph may as well have come out and said tomorrow is Tuesday.
See you next year, everybody.