The “new Daniel Bryan” hates the “fickle sheep” of the WWE Universe and is all about the preservation of our precious Mother Earth, but he’s also got a new hobby: calling out kids who bring birthday signs to Smackdown and dragging them and their parents for being “stupid.”
Here’s a clip from Tuesday night after Smackdown Live in Austin, TX, went off the air. Bryan noticed a kid with a birthday sign in the crowd, and devoted the first minute and a half of his dark match to insulting them. If you think it’s too severe, remember that the kid probably uses plastic water bottles and doesn’t recycle them.
“It’s your birthday, congratulations, you’re stupid. And your parents should be very proud because on your birthday, it got recognized that you’re stupid. DON’T WISH HIM HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Wishing a stupid child happy birthday is more than I can take, so I am leaving this hell hole to return to ABERDEEN WASHINGTON, which is TRULY GOD’S COUNTRY.”
Getting called stupid on your birthday by the WWE Champion is the social equivalent of getting kicked in the groin one time on one day, and we wish the poor child the best in his recovery.