Dark Match Dungeon: Sami Zayn, Generically Speaking

Welcome back to the Dark Match Dungeon!

So, you know how Brandon has the power to summon a really good episode of Raw by being on a plane? I’m hoping I don’t have a similar power after what happened last night. I work late nights, so my sleep schedule is kind of horrendous. To make a long story short, I decided to power-nap before my shift last night and ended up missing the debut of Sami Zayn in his hometown of Montreal. I’m sure I’ll be fine eventually, but I may or may not have reacted by sticking my head in a mailbox and shouting at the time, à la Fred Flintstone. To atone for my sins, I bring you some early Sami Zayn footage! I mean, I think it’s Sami Zayn. It could just be a coincidence, but this El Generico guy in the mask moves a lot like him. Anyway, here’s a full match (with some slightly NSFW audio) for your lunch-break viewing, courtesy of the folks at Smart Mark Video.

What To Look For:

  • Yes, that’s Kevin Owens as Zayn’s tag team partner, looking slightly less menacing without the beard. It’s like the “footprints in the sand” story, but when there’s only one set of footprints, it means that Owens is powerbombing Zayn into the apron.
  • Also, their opponents are Super Dragon and Excalibur, making this the most PWG match ever. This was years before Botchamania, so that “Super Dragon” chant is 100 percent sincere.
  • Of course, indie referee extraordinaire Bryce Remsburg is in charge of the action.
  • Owens moving like a cruiserweight, busting out jumping heel kicks that would make Rusev nervous.
  • Zayn’s top-turnbuckle BRAINBUSTAAAAAHHHHH (yes, that’s the proper spelling), which we will probably never see again, unless he’s wrestling for the fate of the world against John Cena’s evil twin.
  • Then, there’s Zayn dying a thousand deaths at the end. He’s taken some ungodly beatings over the course of his career. Maybe he has a Lazarus Pit or something.

This match is taken from Combat Zone Wrestling’s Cage of Death 6 event in late 2004. As Owens says in the beginning, he and Zayn are representing the IWS (International Wrestling Syndicate), the promotion that gave the two of them their first big break. If there was ever a time loop to be trapped in, I’m glad we got the one where different versions of Zayn and Owens are inherently compelled to beat each other within an inch of their lives. There’s always a man, there’s always a lighthouse, and there’s always a Canadian luchador.

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