Confession: I’m horrible at Pokemon Go. As someone who never watched the show or played the games, none of it makes any sense to me. That said, I play obsessively to impress my very adorable, very patient nine-year-old brother. I may not know much, but I know to still hit Pokestops when my bag is full to get the XP, I know hoarding Rattatas and naming them Jim so I have an army of Jim Rats is only delightful to me, and whenever it says there’s one of those cute seal things is around it’s f*cking lying.
Luckily I don’t feel that bad about it after watching pro wrestling legend and yoga innovator Diamond Dallas Page give the game a go. Does he not really know what they’re called either? Of course. Does he get frustrated when the screen name “DDP” is taken? Yeah, of course. Does he call them “Pokey-Man?” Oh man, you bet he does.
While he may not be hitting the streets to catch any wayward Pidgeys again anytime soon, I can’t be the only one who wishes he were the next WWE surprise return, if not only to team up with Sasha Banks to go Pokemon hunting, right? Just traveling the world, making jokes, looking for rare Pokey-Man. Full series order please, WWE Network execs!