Spend An Evening Of Sadness With Hulk Hogan For Only Hundreds Of Dollars

If you thought Hulk Hogan’s disastrous past few months would leave him in the bargain bin of wrestling appearances, somewhere between Outback Jack and a Bushwhacker, well…you’d be about half-right. The humiliated Hulkster is all set for a UK appearance, presumably because he thinks the internet can’t cross an ocean and no one knows what he’s been up to:

For one night only get up close and personal with one of wrestling’s most celebrated icons. Hulk Hogan will be talking about his life with a chance for the audience to speak to him in a live Question & Answer session.

I feel like getting up close and personal with an exclusive Hulk Hogan package is what landed him in hot water in the first place, but I digress.

A very limited number of VIP tickets are available priced £235 for this price you will get a seat in the first four rows of the floor seating in front of the stage, plus one photograph and one autograph with Hulk Hogan. Other tickets, priced £38.50, £49.50, £60.50 & £71.50 (including booking fees) are available online.

That’s right! For £235 you can sit in the Hulk Hogan splash zone, and then get a photo with the dude who thought it would be a great idea to sue a website notorious or leaking the personal misdeeds of celebrities when there were still tapes of him saying racist stuff in the ether.

Should the idea of literally any of this not be depressing enough, there’s more!

Ticket holders can also purchase photo and autograph upgrades:- £110 (including booking fee) for 1 professional photograph with Hulk Hogan and/or £66 per person (including booking fee) for a Prestige Super Ticket which includes 1 photograph & 1 autopgraph with five wrestlers Lanny Poffo, Jimmy Hart, Outback Jack, Bushwacker Luke, Tugboat plus one photograph with Dynamite Kid (due to health issues The Dynamite Kid will not be signing autographs ) — please note this card is subject to change.

I for real love Lanny Poffo and have mentally written all of this in his voice because that’s just what happens, but dang. I feel like if hanging out with a disgraced racist former Hall of Famer and current-day Dynamite Kid is a thing you want to spend hundreds of dollars to do, you could probably be better served downing a bottle of wine and watching ASPCA commercials on loop for three hours for free and get the same effect.

I mean, at least the ASPCA has some kind of empathy.