Everybody loves the Royal Rumble. If you say you don’t, you’re definitely lying and should probably put out that fire engulfing your pants because it’s a danger to yourself and others. We here at With Spandex thought it would be a great idea to take a look back into our own lives (and that of a few special contributers) to examine just what it is that makes this such a legendary part of WWE’s Big Four Pay-Per-Views.
For me, looking back at Rumbles is a bit bittersweet. After purchasing the entire Royal Rumble boxed set as a Christmas gift because sometimes I’m actually a pretty rad girlfriend, our excitement to watch them from beginning to end turned into a multi-year Wednesday night tradition of watching wrestling with one of our close friends. This also helped get our friend’s son into wrestling, and he’s now training to become a professional wrestler himself. While I may not see that friend as often as I’d like anymore – and definitely not that ex at this point – those nights hold some of my most cherished wrestling-watching memories.
The winners were never really who I wanted them to be, so my love of the event came more from the ability to tell smaller stories throughout the match, and its use as a vehicle for multi-layered extended narratives. Whether it’s the The Million Dollar Man trying to buy himself a Royal Rumble by paying his way into No. 30, only to then be punished by entering first the next year, or Mick Foley’s various personae entering themselves into the 1998 Rumble (with bonus Terry Funk alter-ego Chainsaw Charlie), the Rumble holds a multitude of these wonderful little moments that – for me – define exactly what makes the Rumble so special. From the old school individual entrant promos, to making a bingo cage important and dramatic, my god, Rumbles are just the best.
Also: The Posedown between Rick Rude and Ultimate Warrior. F*ck Warrior, Rick Rude was totally robbed.
Here’s what our staff and some very special friends had to say about their own favorite Royal Rumble memories:
Tyler Bate, current WWE UK Champion: I guess I’d say my favorite moment is Kane eliminating everyone ever. I just wanna give Kane a hug. … Do you think Kane knows who I am?
Bill Hanstock, UPROXX: I have so many amazing Rumble memories, because basically as long as I’ve watched wrestling, it’s been pretty much my favorite thing about the sport.
Historically, my favorite moments were the Hulk/Warrior showdown, the entirety of the ’92 Rumble, Jake chasing Andre out with the snake, and stuff like that. But when I look back at absolutely everything, with the benefit of hindsight and being an adult and what pro wrestling actually means and everything else, my overall favorite Rumble moment is CM Punk’s straight edge sermon in 2010.
It’s just an entire third of the Rumble match that ends up being sheer perfection, all dedicated to the greatest permutation of my favorite wrestler ever. It’s one of the most pitch-perfect heelings, paired with a can’t-miss character. Plus, it features one-legged-tights Zack Ryder getting brained with the noise end of a microphone. Everybody wins.
Chris Trew, Writer, Comedian, Pro Wrestling Manager Extraordinaire: An old Royal Rumble tradition for me and my pals was a Royal Rumble flight of meals that were served as the wrestler they represented entered the match. This was a crazy task for the kitchen but the chaos added to the fun. In 2015 we got dessert first (R-Truth Sweet Tooth Cookies and Ice Cream – No. 2) and our salad last (Cesaro Ceasar Salad – No. 28). Our stomachs were confused, our excitement was doubled, and our disappointment palpable when Roman (Candy) Reigns – No. 19 won the whole thing.
Rickey Shane Page, Independent Wrestler: I think my favorite things have been Kofi’s saves from being eliminated, like him walking on his hands, and jumping on the guardrail. Just really cool and innovative stuff to do with a match that’s so old.
Brandon Stroud, UPROXX: The big moment I always think of when I think of Royal Rumble moments is Stone Cold Steve Austin right on the cusp of breaking out as a huge star, post-Survivor Series but pre-WrestleMania 13, opening up cans of whoop-whatever and checking his watch (his wrist tape) for the next entrant. He’s on up-his-own-ass cruise control until Bret Hart’s music hits, and then IT’S ON.
It’s the best feud in WWE history, and that moment in the Royal Rumble is maybe the last time in his actual career Bret got to be the babyface and the guy WWF crowds cheered. After that, Austin ended up bloody in a Sharpshooter, and the rest is history. Such an absolutely important plot point between the beginning and the BEGINNING in capital letters, and an irreplaceable time capsule of a moment and a talent about to explode.
Joey Ryan, Lucha Underground, The Most Famous Dick In Wrestling: I was never in a Royal Rumble, silly.
Scott Heisel, UPROXX: The 1992 Royal Rumble is usually near the top of everyone’s lists when ranking classic Rumble matches, for good reason: It’s pretty flippin’ awesome. The list of talent here is insane: Hulk Hogan, Randy Savage, Sid, The Undertaker, Jake Roberts, Shawn Michaels, Ted DiBiase, the list goes on and on. Oh, and then there’s the eventual winner, Ric Flair (you might know him as the greatest pro wrestler of all time, and if you don’t, you’re wrong and you should feel bad).
His incredible hour-long performance, continually pushed forward by Bobby Heenan’s repeated cries of “It’s not fair to Flair!” on commentary, is capped off by one of the greatest post-match promos of all time: “I’m gonna tell you all, with a tear in my eye, this is the greatest moment in my life.” (Added to its greatness is Mean Gene yelling “Put that cigarette out!” at someone off-camera.) But the real reason this is my all-time favorite Royal Rumble? It was the very first WWE pay-per-view I ever saw, and I adore the entire card from top to bottom.
Kyle Starks, Comics Creator, Kill ‘Em All, Rick And Morty: I have a lot of favorite Rumble memories – I love the 1998 “price on Austin’s head” Rumble, the first Heartbreak Kid skin-the-cat — but the thing I always think about is when TAKA Michinoku got eliminated on his head in 2000 and Jerry Lawyer was so amused he had production replay it whenever he was bored. And look, that’s a bunch of sort of cruel garbage stuff, but I still think about it whenever Rumble time comes around. WAIT. That’s wrong — my all-time favorite Rumble moment is when Fat Edge won. Fat Edge was The Best Ever.
Justin Donaldson, UPROXX: The Royal Rumble is the reason I’m a wrestling fan. I knew wrestling existed, I would see the big rubber LJN figures at toy stores and I watched a few episodes of the Hulk Hogan cartoon, but I was never interested in watching wrestling until one Saturday afternoon in January of 1989, when, while flipping through the dial, I landed on Mean Gene Okerlund standing in the WWF Control Center explaining to me the concept of a Royal Rumble.
Okerlund listed off each of the thirty participants one by one, showing their picture, some even giving a short pre-taped interview. With each character Gene introduced, I became more and more interested in not only the Royal Rumble, but wrestling in general.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zAx7EvSgBgw
Each wrestler seemed more interesting than the next. The Million Dollar Man, Jake the Snake, Macho Man, Andre the Giant … all of these characters in one place at one time, fighting each other? I had to see this. I couldn’t watch it live because we didn’t have cable (it wasn’t even available in my neighborhood yet), so I waited for the 1989 Royal Rumble to be released on VHS. The day it came out, I rented it and watched it three times. I would go on to rent it so often that eventually the video store just gave it to us.
I still have that VHS tape, and I’ve never missed a Royal Rumble after that. God damn you, Mean Gene.
Dan Barry, Comedian, Independent Wrestler: My favorite Rumble moment is simple. It’s poignant. It’s memorable.
As the clock ran down in 1991, the crowd waited for the next participant in the rumble. Would he be the winner? Who could it possibly be? As the buzzer hit the crowd erupted. Their hero emerged.
Bushwhacker Luke stormed down to the ring with his militant march and his smirk of confidence. He had a game plan. First, eliminate Earthquake as he was the largest. Then Hogan, as he was a formidable opponent. None of the other wrestlers knew of the massacre they were about to endure as Luke stormed the ring. The crowd stood up, knowing full well the blood bath that was about to happen. The violent gladiator was about to enter his coliseum. He stood on the apron, waved to his adoring, fans and climbed into the ring.
Then Earthquake grabbed him, walked him to the other side of the ring, and promptly threw him out.
Undeterred, Bushwhacker Luke kept on marching. He stormed back to the entrance way with unmatched determination. He had to go, his planet needed him.
Austin Heiberg, UPROXX: The 2002 Royal Rumble still sticks out for me. I didn’t have a whole lot of friends who were into wrestling (or a lot of friends in general), but my buddies Zach and William were both big WWF fans, and Zach’s parents were cool enough to order the Rumble on pay-per-view for us. So, following an afternoon of trying moonsaults on his trampoline and filming ourselves recording promos (I did a mean Chris Jericho back in the day), we kicked back and watched the show. I was the only one who correctly picked Triple H to win the whole thing … maybe that was the start of me being a “smart” fan, I don’t know.
All I really know is that we all lost our minds when Maven eliminated The Undertaker.
The Super Thunderfrog, Independent Wrestler, Noted Estonian, Frog God: My favorite Royal Rumble memory!! Stone Cold show up to the building cutting one of my favorite promos on Sunny!! “I’m not talking to anyone until I throw 29 pieces of trash over that top rope declaring me the winner of the Royal Rumble, that’s it!! Cut I’m done!” Not word for word but wowee it was gold!! Then next month was one of my favorite In Your House with the final four. Happy Rumble!!! I know I’ll be rocked up Sunday!!!
Box Brown, Comics Creator, Andre The Giant: The Life And The Legend: When Bret and Lex both won the Rumble in 1994. I remember watching that as a tween and betting that either Lex or Bret would win and then they BOTH won. They did a sick job of landing almost at the exact same time. I’m such a mark for the Hitman. The best.
Steve “Monsta” Mack, Independent Wrestling Legend, Member of Da Hit Squad: My favorite moment was when John Cena made his surprise return in MSG in 2008. The place erupted like nothing ever before. Triple H told more of a story with his face than most writers can do with a thousand pages. It was incredible.
MVP wrestled The Nature Boy Ric Flair in his last MSG match that same show if I’m not mistaken. MVP is someone I’ve known since before he was MVP and Flair is God, and they’re wrestling in God’s Kingdom, Madison Square Garden. Just an awesome moment for one of my boys.
So how about you? What’s YOUR favorite Royal Rumble moment? Let us know in the comments below!
