Here Are Vince McMahon’s Notes On How To Be A Terrible WWE Announcer


Have you ever wondered why the WWE announce team is the way it is? Have you ever wondered why Michael Cole doesn’t seem to know the names of any moves, or why JBL picks a few phrases to yell and hits them over and over? If you regularly watch the show you’re aware of the restrictions placed on WWE announcers — don’t say “wrestler,” don’t say “belt,” that sort of thing — but now, thanks to an album of photos on Imgur, we have the full breakdown. It’s a fascinating look behind the scenes at what may be the most frustrating job of all-time.

Full credit for these (via random shards of torn-up paper towel, for some reason) goes to King Joddah at Reddit Squared Circle. They’re dated as being from 2008-2010, but a lot of it still applies.


Highlights include:

  • Notes to “be yourself” and that “you’re a fan,” followed by an obsessive list of ways to reword stuff so it sounds like something you’d never say. Don’t say “Edge is busted open,” say “Edge’s teeth might’ve been knocked down his throat!”
  • Instructions on how passive/aggressive wording will make it clear who’s the good guy and who’s the bad guy, and how WWE uses simple storytelling that will always make this clear.
  • “Interesting” being a word to avoid.
  • A breakdown of the reasoning in WWE’s war against pronouns. This is why Michael Cole says things like “into the corner goes one Chris Benoit” instead of sounding like a person.
  • Notes to know your homework and do your history, which explain why WWE announcers are always authorities on wrestling history and not just desperately trying to remember what happened on last week’s show.

Here’s the full list. Enjoy, and let us know your favorite notes. I wish “be sure to say ‘creates separation’ and ‘building momentum’ 40 times per match, or else” was on here.


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Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Image and video hosting by TinyPic
 

You can view all of Vince McMahon’s notes on IMGUR.