On the Internet, wrestling fans sometimes equate “knowing how to do a lot of wrestling moves” with “being able to wrestle.” Despite almost all of North America’s most famous and popular pro wrestlers having limited movesets and knowing when to do things rather than what to do, we’ve still created a culture of chanting “you can’t wrestle” at the guys on top of the card, making the most money. It’s why John Cena’s doing sunset flip bombs and spin-out facebusters. We need our moves.
In one of those random, beautiful Twitter moments, Stone Cold Steve Austin responded to a tweet about wrestling moves by explaining how he had a DENSE moveset of way more than four moves.
Let’s count them off:
1. Stone Cold Stunner
2. Lou Thesz press
3. “stomping a mudhole and walking it dry”
4. elbow off the second ropes
5. a sleeper hold, sometimes, or the Million Dollar Dream if we’re counting all the gimmicks
6. can I say Lou Thesz press again?
Austin’s response caught the attention of his old rival The Rock, who decided to list off his own moveset.
2. People’s Elbow
3. Rock Bottom
4. punching a guy, spitting on your hand, then punching them again
(5. The Paducah Flip)
All I want now is for Hulk Hogan to chime in and say he only had four moves, but mean it. Five if you count the Hollywood Hogan back rakes.