Jake The Snake Roberts Has A Bizarre, Sexual Message For Bray Wyatt

I’m going to go ahead and give this one a NSFW warning, not because of the language, I guess, but because once you’ve watched it, you’ll never be able to un-watch it.

Here’s a second NSFW warning, and the recommendation that you get right with God and sit down somewhere comfortable in a temperate environment before watching the video. Tell your family you love them or something, I don’t know.

So.

For reasons I can’t possibly fathom, here’s WWE Hall of Famer Jake “The Snake” Roberts — a guy whose life story can make Stone Cold Steve Austin cry six times — cutting a promo about garlic-flavored condoms, raccoon jock straps (?) and gum jobs. If you don’t know what a gum job is, just don’t watch the video and pretend one of Jake’s kids got a job at Bubblicious.

I’ve spent a few (dozen) minutes trying to figure out why this was posted, and all I can think is that because it was shared by Jake on his official YouTube channel, it’s less “Jake has serious problems” and more “Jake thinks some really concerning sh*t is funny.” I hope so, at least. I’d like to believe WWE would bring Jake in and use his beautiful wrestling brain to make a character like Bray Wyatt more effective, but now all I can really believe in is closing my laptop and leaving the room.

Any ideas? Anybody?