This is Kris Wolf. She competes for the Japanese women’s wrestling promotion World Wonder Ring Stardom. The less you know about her before watching this 16-second promo, the better. Please enjoy the most fire quarter-minute of 2016.
In its glorious entirety:
“Hi! My name is Kris Wolf. Today, I am fighting a child. Because I like delicious meat. Are you delicious meat? Do you want to fight me? Please call me. Byeeee!” [middle finger middle finger middle finger]
If you still haven’t put it together, wearing that little wolf hat makes Kris Wolf an actual wolf, and she’s excited to be wrestling a child (?) so that she can then EAT THE CHILD (??). Kenny Omega and the Young Bucks singing the entirety of Pink’s ‘Raise Your Glass’ is probably the only promo from 2016 that’s gonna top a lady bragging about how she’s gonna murder and devour a child before SOLICITING ADDITIONAL VICTIMS VIA TELEPHONE. That’s not even mentioning the out-of-place middle finger at the end.
Dear Lucha Underground: If the Darewolf PJ Black ever needs a Taya, you should bring in the cannibal child-murdering wolf lady.