Kurt Angle Announced Where He’ll Be Wrestling In 2015 And The Answer Will Shock You

Lucha Underground. He’s going to Lucha Underground.

Kidding. After a year of teasing an announcement about where he’d wrestle in 2015 and a bunch of unsubtle hints about wanting to wrestle Rusev and Daniel Bryan before he retires, Kurt Angle appeared on Vince Russo’s ‘The Swerve’ show to announce he’ll be returning at the Royal Rumble in January. SWERVE! He’s staying in TNA. Cue the horns.

This isn’t a surprise to anyone who watches TNA, as the company’s been putting Kurt front and center on their “we’re moving to Destination America” advertising. So why’d Kurt choose Impact on channel whatever over a big nostalgia run to end his career in WWE?

“Most importantly, the right interests. At this point in my career I can’t really do a full-time schedule. I need to look at how they want to take care of me, what they want to do with me, what’s important to them should be important to me and everything I do has meaning. Most important is the invested interest. Secondly, making sure I keep my life straight and that I spend time with my family. Thirdly is basically financial situation. It’s not that I’m in dire need of money. Thank God I made a lot in this business. At the same time, the amount of money speaks volumes with what they want to do with you and how they want to utilize you. is the money important for a financial standpoint? No. Is it important on how important you are to the company? Yes. I want to make sure it’s a best suit for me.”

Kurt was also asked if he’d listened to CM Punk’s podcast, because “did you listen to CM Punk’s podcast” is the new “hello” in wrestling journalism. His comments on it and Vince McMahon are awfully diplomatic for a guy not packing up and heading back to Stamford.

With Vince, he treated me like I was kind of a son. Whether he cared about me or not, he took care of me. I was the first one he called every New Year’s Eve. He was always there for me. I never had a problem with him. I listened to the CM Punk interview. I don’t know who’s telling the truth or not. I don’t know if CM Punk went over the top or not. I haven’t had that type of relationship with Vince that Punk did. Dixie [Carter] is not Vince. Vince knows the business like anyone else. I don’t think anyone can be like Vince. Of course Vince will treat you better if you’re making him money. I always had a great experience with both of them. Dixie has always treated me good. I think she has sometimes put people in charge that haven’t treated me well. I don’t think it was her fault. She’s the boss. With McMahon, you have to be a work horse to work in the WWE. Vince didn’t put me in that situation. I put myself in the situation. I put the responsibility on me for not speaking up for three years.

Also, to clarify anything else people might be saying:

“Triple H hasn’t been a problem and I don’t have any problem with Triple H, WWE or Vince at all. The good thing about this the past year is Vince and I were able to be on speaking terms again and we haven’t been in eight years.”

So there you have it. Kurt Angle’s staying in TNA, but there’s no drama with WWE and everything’s fine. That’s great news for actual human beings, and not inflammatory enough of a thing for the Internet. Swerve!

Here’s the show in its entirety if you want to check it out. Warning: Vince Russo looks like Kenny Rogers now.