Lance Hoyt Threatened To Kill Me. My Response Will Shock You! (It Won’t, I’m Terrified.)

Last month, Lance Hoyt announced to the world that he was going to find me and kill me. You may know him from his runs in WWE and TNA, or from his current run in New Japan Pro Wrestling. He was part of the best G1 Climax ever. I know him as “the extremely large guy who won’t stop screaming in my face and hitting me with things.”

As promised, I stood in the middle of the ring at the most recent Inspire Pro Wrestling event (while Hoyt was very, very far away in Japan) and stood up for myself. I’m a ring announcer and a freaking BLOGGER, so of course I did my best to be a confident adult and still apologize enough to avoid getting broken in 800 pieces by a Blackout.

Hoyt has been announced for our next card on August 31 in Austin, so the next update may be less optimistic. Not sure how to type “I’m immobile and can’t stop crapping my pants” as a confident adult.