Welcome to episode 14 of season two of the Over/Under of Lucha Underground, our gently reworded Best and Worst report about every episode of the best wrestling show on television. If you’d like to read about season one, you can find all of our previous episode reports on our Lucha Underground tag page. For season two, click here.
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PROGRAMMING NOTE: We’re doubling up on the reports this week, so if you missed our report on episode 13, read that here.
And now, the Over/Under on Lucha Underground season two, episode 14.
Over: Cage In A Cage
If you need another statement on why Lucha Underground is the best wrestling show on television, try this: The latest one-hour episode featured a match where a guy does a split-legged corkscrew moonsault from the top of a steel cage and ends up getting Steiner Screwdriver’d onto a chair, and it’s the second best match of the night.
This is, for all intents and purposes, the blowoff to the ongoing issues between Brian “I’m not a man, I’m something something” Cage and John Mundo, two extremely fit, irrational Caucasians in a complex world of supernatural lucha libre. The match works on two levels. First, the Cage/Mundo feud has been built around Mundo taking cheapshots and bailing, even when it throws Taya under the bus, and Cage finally getting him in a match where he can’t run, escape or spam manager interference to save himself. Second, it’s for an Aztec medallion, which immediately positions the winner into a new story with a new goal. That’s the best thing you can do with a feud blowoff match. Give it its due, then use it to anchor the next thing. Every wrestler, booker or fan should watch the NWA transition from Flair/Steamboat to Flair/Funk. Keep it going. Get to the end, but never end. You know?
Another great thing about the match is how good Johnny Mundo is. He’s a cowardly rudo, but he doesn’t have to be. We’ve seen him go toe-to-toe with the best in the company as a tecnico, so why would the rudo version suddenly be a weakling? He’s just as good, he just lost his confidence somewhere, and now he’s putting on airs instead of working hard to back it up. He’s that guy who has the match won but can’t close the deal because he’s gotta climb up to the top of the cage and hit Starship Pain from it. He’s got to show off, take the long away around, put his image and flash before his substance. Because at this point, what substance does he believe he has? The flash is his money. He and Taya are the same that way.
Speaking of Taya, good lord, has anyone taken more of a beating than Taya in season two? Here she ends up handcuffed to a rope and drilled with a chair, and that’s AFTER she dives off the top of a cage. Taya is the f*cking truth, y’all.
Over: Trio Trio Trio
We go straight from one long match to another. Usually I prefer the Lucha episodes that are heavy on cheesy backstage segments and zip through the action, but it’s nice to remember that the wrestling on the show can be (and very often is) really good.
This week’s main event (and like 60 percent of the episode) is the finals of the Trios tournament. Dario Cueto starts off the match by announcing that Angelico has a sudden and mysterious injury and won’t be able to compete, which means Son of Havoc and Ivelisse have to defend the Trios Championships against three, three-man teams as a tag team. That’s rough. It ends up being Son of Havoc and Ivelisse vs. The Crew and Joey Ryan vs. PJ Black, Jack Evans and Drago vs. Prince Puma, Rey Mysterio and El Dragon Azteca Jr.
Like most of the best Lucha matches, this one brings together a bunch of different stories. The first is the undercover cop shenanigans with Joey Ryan and Cortez Castro, who can’t seem to get along, possibly because one’s undercover as a gang member and the other’s a porno Magnum P.I. You’d think they’d go undercover as similar wrestlers, but I don’t know how cops work. Anyway, miscommunication between the two leads to Cortez getting rolled up by Ivelisse and pinned, causing their elimination. I’m gonna choose to believe this was done on purpose as a followup to Lorenzo Lamas showing up last week and telling their chief to lay off the Cueto case.
That leaves three teams. If you watch the match, pay attention to what a badass Ivelisse is. They call it out on commentary (when they aren’t making sh*tty jokes about her having “ease” in her name), but she’s the MVP. That running Yoshi Tonic on Jack Evans is BRUTAL, and I love that horrible human Jack got the pin on her while he was unconscious. PJ Black kicks her in the head and reverses the pin, and Jack’s just stuck in her legs like a f*cked-up marionette. It’s great. Also great is the response from the crowd, because there are few things better in wrestling than a champion getting eliminated early in a multi-person match for a championship.
The final two teams are Black Evans and Fenix (my favorite folk trio of the 1970s) vs. The Team You Know Is Winning This. I don’t want to call them Team John Cena or whatever, but come on … you knew when Rey Mysterio Jr. teamed up with Prince goddamn Puma and the cool-as-balls new guy who throws pizza DDTs and they BATMANNED ON THE ROOF OF THE TEMPLE that they were winning the championships.
Also, should you not be on the “EL DRAGON AZTECA IS THE DUDE” train yet:
That guy is the f*cking sh*t. All the positive words I can type with asterisks.
Striker is at his worst with the championship call, going all-in on the prophecy and being all IS THIS THE DAWNING OF A GLORIOUS NEW ERA OR ARE WE ON THE PRECIPICE OF A FIERY DOOM, A DOOOOOOM, but the actual result is the right and best call. It gives three of the top tecnicos on the show (slash in the world) something to do, and leaves the Lucha Underground Championship scene open for the brutal zombies and the pissed-off ninja skeletons.
Speaking of …
Over: All The Best Wrestlers Have Motorized Wheelchairs
A few episodes ago, Matanza took Pentagon to the woodshed (table) and broke his back. That’s probably easier to do to skeletons? I don’t know. But yeah, Pentagon Jr. does his best to look badass and menacing in a Hoveround and enters Dark Master Vampiro’s dojo, which is surprisingly handicapable. Vampiro demands that Pentagon get out of his chair, and Pentagon’s like, “well I’d like to, but moderate to severe miedo.” Vamp then pours MYSTERIOUS BLACK CANDLE WAX on him, because … reasons I do not totally understand, but it’s evil as sh*t.
Pentagon ends up getting enraged enough to free himself from the chair, but collapses on the floor. Vamp insults him, leaves a candle burning by him and bails. We end the episode with Lucha’s best and coolest character broken on the floor of his mystical taunt dojo, and I can’t wait to see what heights his propels him to. I always say that characters need to face true adversity to level up, and a leveled up Pentagon Jr. is gonna be out of f*cking control.