The 3-hour, season-ending Lucha Underground ULTIMA LUCHA DOS begins on Wednesday, July 6, with hour one, and continues on July 13 and July 20 with hours two and three, respectively. The show features a Lucha Underground Championship match, a Trios Championship match, a match for the Gift of the Gods and a dream match between Prince Puma and Rey Mysterio Jr.
Here’s your complete Ultima Lucha Dos card, as we know it.
Ultima Lucha Dos Card:
1. Lucha Underground Championship Match: The Monster Matanza Cueto (c) vs. Pentagon Jr.
2. Prince Puma vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.
3. Trios Championship Match: Worldwide Underground (Johnny Mundo, Jack Evans and PJ Black) vs. Aerostar, Drago and Fenix
4. Death Match: King Cuerno vs. Mil Muertes
5. Taya vs. Ivelisse
6. Gift of the Gods Championship Match: Sexy Star vs. Mariposa vs. Marty ‘The Moth’ Martinez vs. Daga vs. Killshot vs. Siniestro de la Muerte vs. Night Claw
7. 4 A Unique Opportunity: Cage vs. Texano vs. The Mack vs. Son of Havoc
8. Black Lotus vs. El Dragon Azteca Jr.
As always, we’re here with our analysis and predictions for what we think will happen. Since Lucha Underground still has a much smaller audience than WWE and you still might not be totally sure what’s going on, we’re providing easy-to-follow character and story recaps for season 2.
Important Note: Ultima Lucha Dos is a taped show, which means that yes, you can find spoilers online if you look hard enough. I’ve managed to remain somewhat miraculously spoiler free (aside from some hopefully not crucial to UL2 character notes from season 3) and haven’t read what happens, so please, treat this as a non-spoiler environment in the comments section. That’s a formal request. No need to ruin the show for those of us who made it this far without accidentally checking a Wikipedia page!
Black Lotus vs. El Dragon Azteca Jr.
Who Are These People And Why Are They Fighting? Black Lotus and El Dragon Azteca Jr. are the two more recent students of legendary (in this universe) sensei-luchador El Dragon Azteca. During season one, Lotus infiltrated the Lucha Underground Temple looking for the man responsible for the death of her family, LU proprietor Dario Cueto’s monstrous, then-unseen brother Matanza. Before she could get revenge on Matanza, she was spirited away by Dragon Azteca, apparently for her well-being. Dragon Azteca attempted to train her, but she was too obsessed with revenge, and (skipping a few plot points) ended up killing him instead of Matanza. That caused Cueto, Cueto and Lotus to flee the Temple at the end of season 1 and remotely train Matanza via white dude warehouse murders until he was powerful enough to return and, presumably, protect them from the war they’d started.
Upon hearing about (sensing?) the death of his mentor, the street urchin who gets rescued in the first scene of season 1, episode 1, puts on the mask of El Dragon Azteca and becomes El Dragon Azteca Jr. The original luchador’s greatest (in this universe) student, Rey Mysterio Jr., was summoned via a spray-painted billboard and stepped in as Jr.’s mentor. El Dragon Azteca Jr.’s been covertly trying to figure out what happened to the original all season, believing he’d died at Matanza’s hands. But whoops, Black Lotus accidentally did it, and now they’re gonna wrestle about it.
Who Will Win? This one is a big question mark, no pun intended. This’ll be the in-ring debut of Black Lotus, and despite El Dragon Azteca Jr. being objectively dope as balls in the ring, the story’s more about story than action. I’d expect something open-ended, but if I had to pick a winner, I’d go with Lotus. She’s a true wild card, even if she doesn’t have the coolest move on the show.
4 A Unique Opportunity: Cage vs. Texano vs. The Mack vs. Son of Havoc
Who Are These People And Why Are They Fighting? Dario Cueto loves to give people “unique opportunities,” which is his code for “something that could turn out really well for them, but LOL, it probably won’t.” Cueto loves to see people get hurt, and it’s especially fulfilling when they think they’re gonna succeed right before they fail. So here’s four people he doesn’t have great relationships with in something called “4 A Unique Opportunity,” with the winner promised the biggest and best unique opportunity he’s ever handed out. So he’s probably going to give them a million dollars and then shoot them in the face with a gun.
The participants are Texano, a Mexican cowboy who loves and represents Mexico despite being named “a Mexican from Texas”; Cage, a very muscular, very constantly upset man who insists that he’s technically a machine; Son of Havoc, a likeable masked biker with a radio DJ voice and a giant beard; and The Mack, a cool black guy who can do lots of flips despite looking like he shouldn’t be able to get up from a couch without breathing hard.
Who Will Win? Your two best bets are Cage and Son of Havoc, and since Cage just won and cashed-in the Gift of the Gods Championship (and lost), Son of Havoc makes the most sense. His Trios team is either injured or preoccupied, the Trios Championships have drifted away into weird international waters — not literally, although on this show I wouldn’t put it past them — and he’s super popular, so he needs something to do. Hopefully that thing he gets will not be “kissed on the mouth by Kate Upton, then thrown into an alligator tank.”
Gift of the Gods Championship Match: Sexy Star vs. Mariposa vs. Marty ‘The Moth’ Martinez vs. Daga vs. Killshot vs. Siniestro de la Muerte vs. Night Claw
Who Are These People And Why Are They Fighting? The Gift of the Gods Championship allows its wearer to cash it in for a shot at the Lucha Underground Championship (but it has to be defended, and the title shot must be announced in advance, so don’t think of it like the Money in the Bank briefcase). To get that championship, you have to win one of seven “ancient Aztec medallions” and place it in the title belt. The belt has holes for them, don’t worry, that’s the easy part. Everyone who puts a medallion into the belt gets into a big 7-luchador showdown, and the winner of that gets the Gift of the Gods. And then it all starts again.
Participants in this match include Marty Martinez and Mariposa, a team of psychotic kidnappers representing an Aztec moth clan; Sexy Star, the lady they kidnapped; Daga, a relatively nondescript guy from Mexico currently being stalked by a snake lady who is in love with him; Killshot, an ex-military type who had the dog tags of his fallen brothers-in-arms stolen by one of those moth-themed kidnappers; Siniestro de la Muerte, an electric skeleton who ripped out the hearts of the only other two of his kind and is slowly turning into Doctor Doom from a bad Fantastic Four movie; and Night Claw, a new guy who is a kitty cat.
Who Will Win? The winner of this gets the Gift of the Gods Championship, and (at least in my opinion) there’s no way Matanza’s losing the Lucha Underground Championship. So it’s gotta be a tecnico, which narrows it down to Sexy Star and Killshot. Killshot’s got a fun story going with Marty and wants those dog tags back, but Sexy Star just had that great No Mas match and put the fear of God into Mariposa. Sexy’s what you’d consider one of the “main characters” of the show, I think, so seniority and importance puts her ahead of Killshot. So that’s my pick. Sexy Star wins, and then oh God, Matanza throws her into the air and eats her in one bite.
Taya vs. Ivelisse
Who Are These People And Why Are They Fighting? Taya, self-advertised as the “Perfect Woman,” is the female member of Worldwide Underground and basically what would happen if you crossed Melina Perez with a really athletic, gutsy Bratz doll. Ivelisse, self-advertised as the “Baddest Bitch” in Lucha Underground, is the female member of Team Havoc (aka “The Unlikely Trio”), a two-time Trios Champion and the most decorated and successful female performer in the show’s history. Their respective squads came to blows a few times thanks to Johnny Mundo’s enthusiastic dickhead meddling, and that spun off into a beef between the two individuals.
Who Will Win? I’m picking Worldwide Underground to retain the Trios Championship (because of course I am), so I’ll pick Ivelisse over Taya here. Taya kinda rules at taking nearly constant, exaggerated beatdowns, and if season 3 Ivelisse is gonna be focused on Catrina (as you’d expect from their interactions in season 2), you’ve gotta give Ivie the win here. I wouldn’t be surprised if this leads directly into the Trios Championship match or happens immediately afterward, since they tied the stories together so tightly on the go-home show.
Death Match: King Cuerno vs. Mil Muertes
Who Are These People And Why Are They Fighting? King Cuerno is the best wrestler and character on Lucha Underground to have never really felt like a crucial part of the show. He’s a hunter who owns one (1) set of wrestling gear and one (1) set of street clothes and lives in what appears to be a cabin decorated with an almost Psycho level of appreciation for taxidermy. Mil Muertes was once a kid who got buried under the rubble of the Mexico City Earthquake and had to watch his family die, but realized then that death isn’t something to be feared, death is power. So now he hangs out with a lady who is pretty blatantly Death Itself, and every time he dies, she goes into the Underworld and brings him back more powerful than the time before. He’s died twice, if you’re keeping score.
After the first death, Mil powered up and won the Lucha Underground Championship. He got injured at the beginning of season 2, so Catrina (acting as the temporary proprietor of The Temple, because Dario was on the run and she was in charge of the champion) used King Cuerno to control and manipulate the Gift of the Gods Championship to keep someone from opportunistically cashing it in. He failed her, and Mil’s eternal blood rival Fenix was able to get it and use it to take Mil’s title. To get revenge on being used and abused, Cuerno waited until Mil died again, stole his body, taxidermied it and MOUNTED IT IN HIS F*CKING TROPHY ROOM. When Mil came back to life again, he was not happy.
Cuerno managed to use Mil’s rage against him and hold the ropes for a cheap, technical pinfall victory, so Catrina went to Dario and was like, “death match.” It was such a good idea, it gave him a boner.
Who Will Win? KING CUERNO GONNA DIE.
Trios Championship Match: Worldwide Underground (Johnny Mundo, Jack Evans and PJ Black) vs. Aerostar, Drago and Fenix
Who Are These People And Why Are They Fighting? Aerostar and Drago are your average, run-of-the-mill best friends. One of them’s a time-traveling Aztec (?) alien (??) with rocket boots (!!) and the other’s the reincarnation of a dragon that can breathe fire and also just turn into a dragon sometimes. They’re both into nunchucks. They’re also friends with Fenix, an immortal. They’re going up against the weirdest characters on the show: three out-of-control, up-their-own-asses white dudes who can’t stop playing air guitar and kicking everybody in the balls.
Who Will Win? There’s a pretty solid chance this’ll be the best match on the show. Worldwide Underground is the best thing in wrestling right now — well, whenever this season was taped — so I want them to retain the Trios Championship and also retain it forever going forward. I wouldn’t be surprised if the wonderful cartoon luchadors won here, because Lucha Underground loves shuffling those title belts around like they’re nothing, but I’m hoping they had the foresight to realize how much the whole wide world would love and appreciate the Insincere Caucasian Sh*tlords.
The real question here is, what’s left in The Temple for Aerostar to jump off of? Pretty sure he jumped off the highest point during Ultima Lucha Uno, but who knows, maybe they’ll bring in a scissor lift, park it on the catwalk and stand on each other’s shoulders.
Prince Puma vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.
Who Are These People And Why Are They Fighting? Rey Mysterio Jr. is one of the best, most influential and most decorated luchadors in wrestling history. “One of” is being humble. Dude’s next to Jushin Thunder Liger on the objective “done everything everywhere and succeeded in every way a wrestler can” GOAT list. Prince Puma is the new GOAT, especially in terms of Lucha Underground success.
Mysterio is responsible for bringing Puma into LU under Konnan’s tutelage, and Puma saw great success, becoming the first Lucha Underground Champion. When Konnan died — because on Lucha Underground if you get put into a coffin you actually physically die — Puma lost focus, lost the championship and lost his way. Mysterio showed up in season 2 with a new protege, El Dragon Azteca Jr., and the three teamed up to win the Trios Championship. But all the while, Puma got more and more frustrated, convinced that he was slumming it and not living up to his potential. He wants to prove that he’s the BEST, and the only way he can do that is by beating the best. And f*ck, Rey Mysterio is the best.
Who Will Win? Much like the main event story, I don’t think Puma’s ready or in the right frame of mind to win this match. He’s reckless and frustrated, and out to prove something by beating up and proving he’s better than the guy who brought him into wrestling (in this universe) and bailed him out of a bad situation in season 2. He’s kind of being a dick, and he needs a little humbling. Plus, you don’t bring in Rey Mysterio Jr. just to have him lose all the time, do you? Rey’s gotta get the W in his first Ultima Lucha, especially if he’s hanging around for the rest of them.
(note: this is gong to be REALLY GOOD. Spoiler alert.)
Who Are These People And Why Are They Fighting? When he was a little boy, Matanza Cueto was sacrificed the Gods to appease them, and, thanks to black magic, became the vessel for a reborn God. To celebrate this, his family locked him in a cage for decades. He’s deformed, maladjusted, nigh-invulnerable and (so far) impossible to stop. He won the Lucha Underground Championship in his debut match, and has systematically made all the toughest dudes on the show look like chumps. He pinned everybody in Aztec Warfare, broke Pentagon Jr.’s back, out-powered Cage and buried Mil Muertes.
Looking to defeat Matanza here is that guy with the broken back, Pentagon Jr. If you don’t know him, he’s a pissed-off ninja skeleton who is (I guess) coping and functioning with a broken back and walking around and wrestling all fine because of RITUALISTIC SEX TORTURE from his PSYCHOTIC BIPOLAR VAMPIRE LORD. Seriously, Vampiro just hung him up and hit him with a barbed-wire baseball bat until he was fine. Vamp thinks Pentagon has a lot more training to do before he’s ready to defeat Matanza, but nobody ever listens to that advice.
Who Will Win? Matanza. Gotta be. Pentagon is my favorite wrestler and the coolest guy on the show, but the story is that he’s not ready. He’s coming back too soon. They wouldn’t make a point of having Vampiro say he needs more training and be mad at his premature return if he was just gonna murk Matanza and win the Championship. That’ll happen for him, I think, but not here. It won’t be as embarrassing as that back-breaking match where Pentagon lied around on the floor throwing up the X over and over and looking like a helpless baby, but Matanza’s retaining. What Pentagon does in response to that will be interesting.
