Miracleman Is Going To That Place Where He Hears Voices

Alternate headline: “I’ll go to the funny papers if I have to.”

What you’re looking at is an alternate cover to Miracleman #3 by artist JG Jones. If you’re a wrestling fan — or someone who is forced to look at pictures of wrestlers all the time on With Leather against your will — you’ll instantly recognize the pose. And, uh, the face. Here’s the full cover:


That’s WWE World Heavyweight Champion Randy Orton, doing his signature “release the doves” pose. If you’re saying to yourself, “oh come on, Randy Orton’s not the only person who’s ever held their arms open,” here’s a shot courtesy of Bleeding Cool (who pointed out the comparison in the first place) with the exact Randy Orton hands.

Modern comic artists who just bring up something on their phone and draw it or print it out and trace it (like Greg Land, who has been drawing super heroes with porn star faces for YEARS now) are the worst. You could call the pose an homage, but man, he didn’t make a single attempt to disguise Randy Orton’s face. Just drew Orton’s face right on there. Maybe it’s a Sam Jackson/Nick Fury example of an artist projecting who they’d like to play the character in a movie?

If so, that’s even worse. Putting Randy Orton in your movie is a bad idea.

If we’re gonna move forward with Randy Orton Miracleman, here are a few requests:

1. An issue where he holds Dr. Gargunza in a chinlock for far too long, then spends several minutes moseying around him, stomping arbitrarily
2. Orton Miracleman defending the world against Batista Drax The Destroyer while Daniel Bryan Puck should be the focus of the comic
3. Ric Flair being in charge of a plot called Project Thus Spake Zarathustra
4. R-Truth as Kid Marvelman, Little Jimmy as Johnny Bates
5. Debut him in an anthology called Ultimate Warrior

How are these obscure old comic book/wrestling jokes working out for you? Good?