Monday Night RAW May Be Canceled Tonight Because God Hates That Roman Reigns Won The Rumble, Too

The Royal Rumble match last night was an unmitigated disaster. Literally zero people came out of the match looking strong which I think is pretty unprecedented. Fans are angry, canceling subscriptions and barricading wrestlers in the arena. But there appears to be one fan who’s infinitely pissed about the WWE product: God.

According to rumorzz and reportz, the winter weather storm in the northeast has caused a travel ban, forcing WWE to cancel tonight’s Monday Night RAW. I wonder what they’ll do instead. This is the first RAW that’s been canceled since they announced Chris Benoit’s death, so I doubt they’ll just show Benoit matches for two hours like they did then. Maybe they’ll just replay the Rumble match from last night in case they haven’t alienated enough fans. Or maybe we can just watch last year’s Batista run so we can say, “hey, this isn’t so bad.” If push comes to shove, the USA Network can just play more episodes of Silk Stalkings since it still comes on after RAW anyway, right?

Whatever the case, the only way to appease God is to do a Roman Reigns sacrifice or something. So, what are we watching instead? I’m going with Marry Me. Can’t go wrong with quality TV, kids.

More details on this developing situation as news comes to us.

*UPDATE: RAW has been postponed until Thursday per WWE.

STAMFORD, Conn. – Due to the impending blizzard in the Northeast and statewide travel bans, WWE has postponed tonight’s live event in Hartford and cancelled tomorrow night’s live event in Boston; however, WWE will emanate live tonight at 8 p.m. ET from its studios in the Stamford world headquarters.

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