Morning Links: Doesn’t Do Whatever A Spider Can

07.18.11 8 years ago 5 Comments


Spider-Man Basketball Looks Spazzier Than Vampire Baseball – I’m not the first one to notice it, but it’s weird how much they want the next Spider-Man movie to look like Twilight. Wait a minute, Spider-Man 3 had Bryce Dallas Howard in it. Have they been doing this all along? Do I secretly like Twilight? Do I even realize it? [Film Drunk]

Ochocinco Says “F**k All Defensive Backs” – It’s true, that does seem like something Ochocinco would say. I take seriously all comments from a man who changed his name to numbers. [Smoking Section]

Cowboys Linebacker Keith Brooking Gets His Two Daughters Ready To Go For Six Flags – Sports news should be less “this guy got a DUI” and “this guy beat his wife” and more “this guy is going to take so many old timey photos it’s gonna be SICK”. I’m going back to Six Flags Fiesta Texas in a few weeks, remind me to get KSK to write up a report about it. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

Ultra-Pro Cards, The Least Valuable Objects Ever Produced – What’s worth less, these baseball cards or that Marvel Knights comic about Ghost Rider and Johnny Blaze that my Dad wouldn’t let me take out of the polybag and read 15 years ago? [SBN]

With Leather

Punte Talks to Patrick Willis – In case you were unaware, With Leather is now a legitimate news organization, and we get to talk to athletes about things in real life. And by “in real life” I don’t mean saying “you are awesome” to some D-league guy and having them retweet it. [With Leather]

Jay Cutler and Chad Ochocinco and the Models of the Diesel Swimsuit Show – In about an hour I’m putting up a gallery of 40,000 Kate Upton pics (thanks, Burnsy), so spend the next sixty minutes looking at women who aren’t her. Two Ochocinco links this morning. I should go for eight and title it “Ocholinko”. [With Leather]

The Most Disgusting World Record You’ll See This Week – This is from last week, but you probably won’t see anything grosser this week either. Still gonna try to set the world’s record for “most food just thrown on the ground so nobody can eat it”. [With Leather]

The Best and Worst of Raw 7/11 – Because we are legitimate, here’s a thing about wrestling. Last night WWE put on what might be their best pay-per-view event ever (I’m not kidding), so read this and establish context before you read 10 pages of me swooning about it later. [With Leather]

Not Sports

It Was a Harry Potter Sort of Weekend – I don’t share in the Harry Potter enthusiasm, but it’s basically the only thing the non-sports world wants to talk about right now. The final film in the series opened and broke box office records by bringing in 600,000 billion dollars and bankrupting everything in the world, so now all we’ve got left to constitute “a world” is China and Harry Potter. Here is a picture of Emma Watson. [Uproxx]

Adult Swim’s Most Awkward Comic-Con Memories – My most awkward Wizard World Austin moment: trying to sneak past the cast of The Human Centipede without making eye contact. [Adult Swim]

The Bang Bus Guy Lives in a Van Full of Animals – I thought I needed to share this with people. What’s next? Are we gonna find out the MILF Hunter is a vagrant drifter? (actually, that would make a pretty good MILF Hunter storyline) (does MILF Hunter have storylines?) [Film Drunk]

A Gallery of When Pixar Comes to Life – Some of these are interesting, some are cute, some are terrifying. Pretty sure I don’t ever want to see that family dressed as The Incredibles again, and I’m the guy who just wrote like five sentences about the MILF Hunter. [Unreality]

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